His body was floating in the middle of water.

A sound could be heard.

In short repeated intervals was the sound that sounded like rapid thumping. The same sound was coming from himself. This was surely the world’s smallest duet.

When he strained his ears, he could hear another sound coming from a further distance away. The relaxed thumping that could be heard gave him a sense of tranquility, almost like a lullaby.

This place was warm, it was comfortable, it gave him peace.

However, he could not be in this place forever, he had to leave this place sooner or later. It seemed terrifying, but he was looking forward to it as well…

The sound he heard seemed to give him courage, telling him everything would be alright.

Even if he left this place, he could still sing. That was a moment to hope for.

—- One of the sounds, vanished.

★

A robotic sound that would awaken anyone rang loudly and shrilly next to his ear.

“Fucking noisy……”

Even though he was the one who set the time, a noisy item was still a noisy item. While grumbling, he started to fumble around for the alarm clock. After hitting the switch, the sound stopped immediately. The digital clock showed that the time was now 18:00.

Noel, who had fallen asleep on his stomach, stretched to ease the stiffness in his body upon waking up and then shivered when he felt the chill of the room.

“Ah–, so sore… and it’s freezing……”

In the short time he got his head together, his wrists started to feel numb and he shook his hands that got rid of that numbness a short while later.

(It’s that dream about floating in water again huh…….)

It was a dream from way back in his childhood days, he could not really recall the contents of the dream. Being in the water, somehow, it made him comfortable but what happened at the end——he could not remember.

Did he just see a dream from the depths of a human’s heart; such a thought that flashed through his mind for an instant. But he shook his head as now was not the time to think about dreams and the like.

To his annoyance, what entered his field of vision next were music scores that were spread across the entire surface of his table. After waking up from his sleep, he could not think of a good song and what was present were just messily written music scores.

“I can’t read this……”

Noel participated in various Indie bands as a vocalist. Lately, he got himself a stable fan base and was made known through magazines and the internet. Gradually those activities increased. A steady stream of activities kept coming, thankfully enough, and for the next one, he was allowed to perform in the largest Live House in the region.

Scattered across his table were the countless scores he wrote for a new song he thought up of for the sake of this live show. However, none of them were satisfactory.

Noel picked up one sheet from amongst the mess and he clicked his tongue.

“This is not……the kind of melody I want to play.”

He crumpled the sheet music in his hand and tossed it into the wastepaper basket. It would have been great if he could throw away his own gloomy feelings as well.

(A melody that would burn people’s hearts more…….)

A vibration came from his smartphone which had been switched to silent mode and a notification popped up on the LCD screen. It was a message from a writer who was active in producing articles for web-based media recently.

[I already uploaded the article about the interview you did for me online, please read it when you have the chance!]

The URL of the site where that short article has been uploaded on was attached to the message but right now, he did not have the luxury to read it. The time shown on his phone’s display was more important than that right now and he crammed his smartphone into his pocket.

He had already arranged with the other band members to practice together from seven in the evening in preparation for the next live show.

Noel hurriedly put on his coat, slung his guitar case on his back and left the apartment.

As the cold winds of the month of February blew onto his face, he instinctively hunched his shoulders.

 

While walking on the path to the rehearsal studio, Noel hummed a small song to himself as he frowned deeply. If he hoped to attract more people in the next live, then he would probably need an even bigger location. There was no room for failure at all. Though the immense pressure was there, it would be rewarding too.

(Then, more people would be able to listen to this. Also……)

He placed a hand on his own chest. It was almost as though there was a hole in there and in that hole was a muddy vortex swirling around. It was so empty and the fact that there was nothing to grab on made him frustrated.

(This half-assed burning sensation within me…can it become something even greater?)

The more he thought about it, the less he understood his compositions and also his own feelings.

He would like to sing without thinking about anything. Otherwise, his frustration would eventually burst out of him.

I want to let my voice out before the other members arrive. With that thought in mind, Noel picked up his pace and his right shoulder bumped into a man who was in front of him.

“Uwah!”

Bumping into the burly man, Noel staggered backwards. The next moment, thick fingers grabbed onto Noel’s chest.

“You bastard, bumping into people without so much as a greeting, huh?”

(Grabbing people’s chest before even greeting them, what is the guy even talking about?)

An ill nature seeped out from that low threatening voice. Sunglasses placed upon his bald head, jangling accessories and a suit of poor taste. He was frankly a horrible man. However.

(It’s so troublesome to have to bump into this guy.)

Noel had several experiences with fights before. As such, he became able to naturally tell who the really troublesome ones were. The appearance and personality of this man, even the things that were behind this man, he could not let himself get involved with them. The calm side within him sent out such a warning.

Though he understood this, that insolent attitude and those eyes that looked down on him caused Noel’s irritation to increase by many folds.

Not being aware of what he was doing, he glared at the man with a sharp gaze.

“HAH?! What’s with those eyes!”

As the hand that grabbed Noel’s chest pulled him forward, a heavy fist struck his cheek.

Noel’s frustration reached the boiling point at one go as heat and pain shot through his cheek.

“You asshole…”

He curled the hand which he used to wipe his face into a fist and he raised his head to glare at the man.

“…what do you think you are doing, shithead!”

—If he did such a thing in such a place, nothing would change at all.

From the place where he raised his fist, he could see the clock that was behind the man. The hands of the clock were pointed to a quarter to seven and the fact that practice was at seven crossed his mind.

This was not the moment to waste time on such matters. Noel gritted his teeth and held back his rage, then he started to run past the man, leaving the man behind. The man’s furious voice tailed behind him but Noel used all his might to outrun the man.

He still had the urge to return the beating two-fold but if he did that, the valuable chance to perform live would likely be crushed.

★

Right now, the thing that was being introduced by the website [HEAVY EDGE] which had become quite a topic on the internet was the next live by Noel and his band being green-lit. The manager of the Live House had welcomed Noel and his members warmly.

“Since [HEAVY EDGE] introduced all of you, we’ve been receiving many splendid enquiries. People would like all of you to come here!”

“Thank you very much!”

Hearing the Manager’s words, Noel bowed his head on reflex. This was the biggest Live House in this region after all.

He felt high spirited and he was sure that the other members had the same feelings as well.

 

When Noel managed to rush to the rehearsal studio, he forcefully opened the door to the studio that has been reserved at the reception area.

“Sorry, have you started practice al—“

The studio was dark and as silent. Not one member of the band had arrived. Noel let out a sigh.

“No one is here yet…Well, those few were never that punctual since the time I knew them anyway.”

Whatever part-time work or errand they were on probably got dragged out or something……was what he would have liked to think. Being unpunctual was a frequent occurrence.

Because it was a frequent occurrence, he was angry about it.

Noel himself would pay attention to the needs of the band but the other band members still distanced themselves from him. The members, who just wanted to enjoy themselves, could not agree with the feelings of Noel who wanted to do even more.

(But, if the next live ended up being a success……)

He could probably perform in an even larger location. And perhaps a major debut would be within his grasp. If he was able to achieve that then surely, the other members would be able to say that they understand his feelings?

Noel took out his guitar and started to practice by himself.

Five minutes. Ten minutes. ………When thirty minutes had passed, Noel tried to call them but no one picked up.

“Those idiots……!”

The rage that Noel felt then would probably not reach those people but Noel used his smartphone and started sending messages anyway. Likely, he would not get any replies.

It was possible to rent the studio until late into the night. He continued practicing by himself, composing a new tune. However, no matter how loudly he sang, his mood did not improve.

The hands of time continued to move forward gradually.

It was just past ten o’ clock.

“Thanks for your hard work~~, Noel. So sorry, we’re late.”

“……what, he’s still here.”

The soft mocking voice clearly reached Noel’s ears in the quiet room.

The trio of members, drummer Yuuki, guitarist Jun and bass guitarist Ryou laughed in a cheery mood as they entered the studio.

“……. We agreed beforehand to practice from seven o’ clock. Why didn’t you pick up your phone?!”

Noel glared at them sternly as he said that, which their leader, Yuuki, responded with a smile and a laugh.

“Hey hey, those are the words of a bothersome woman. We just went to drink for a bit and lost track of the time.”

“To drink…..?! Even though we have practice?!”

Noel raised his voice and the trio laughed, saying some thoughtless words.

“Even if we didn’t practice, our skills will do just fine, just like always.”

“Yeah—Yeah–, chill—chill—“

“Noel, you got a stick up your ass. Why don’t you have more fun?”

While saying things about having fun, Yuuki brutally taunted Noel.

“What, are you saying?”

The amount of unpleasantness displayed by those members till now was too much for any living creature.

Without thinking, Noel grabbed Yuuki’s shirt and shouted.

“Isn’t it our duty to deliver good music to others, even if it’s just a little?! If you don’t even practice, how can you even think of playing good music?!”

“Uwah, so serious~”

Even though Noel grabbed Yuuki’s shirt, he restrained himself from beating that taunting smile on the latter’s face and glared at him instead.

“What’s with that…kind of attitude….!”

Yuuki sighed in response to Noel’s angry voice. Then.

“Why are you getting all worked up by yourself?”

Jun and Ryou both showed their agreement to Yuuki’s words which were filled with irritation.

“Because you’re so annoying, it’s actually giving us stress.”

“You’re the one getting all the attention so you are getting ahead of yourself? How wonderful—just a bit of good looks, a bit of good singing and you stand out huh?! Vocalist-sama!”

The trio’s mocking laughter stuck to Noel’s ears like glue. They rang so unpleasantly that it was impossible to imagine that these members stuck with him until now.

(I…just want to do even better….!)

Noel was only working so hard for the sake of that goal. It was supposed to be normal to want such a thing. But to those who have yet to reach this normal goal, why did they have to need to say such words?

The hand that was grabbed the shirt was overcome by some kind of force and Noel shouted angrily.

“Do you asses not want to do anything at all?! We were supposed to have practice but you decided to go drinking?! Stop messing around! You idiots are not doing anything with me at all! I’m the only one here who is really making any music!”

“That’s what I’ve been saying. You can’t tell?”

Noel’s voice was ignored. Yuuki, irritated that he was facing a person who he could not talk through to, scratched his own head and said those words bluntly.

“I had enough. I don’t need this kind of shit.”

Grabbing back at the hand which had grabbed his shirt, Yuuki paid back the favor with the following words.

“You’re so annoying.”

Noel’s shoulder suddenly got pushed hard and his back hit the wall. At that moment, all the blood rushed to his head and the anger which he had been holding back with all his willpower burst out at once.

“You…shitheads!”

Noel gripped his hand into a fist and pummeled Yuuki’s face. Yuuki was thrown back to the opposite wall and he hit it back first. He started groaning as he pressed onto his cheek with his hand.

“Oi, are you alright?”

“Noel, damn you!”

As the furious words of two people got hurled at him, Noel picked up his guitar and headed for the door.

“I can’t work with fucking trash like you all anymore!”

Noel left the studio with his hands still balled into fists. Behind him, a muffled laughter can be heard.

“Aaa……we disbanded.”

The response to that was the door slamming shut.

★

After the decision was made to disband, Noel lowered his head in front of the manager of the Live House for putting the live show in peril. This situation had caused a lot of trouble for everyone.

“For things to turn out like this…. I think it’s horrible. About looking for support members, I can do……”

“Ah—“

Sighing, the manager uttered in a listless voice with his head lowered at Noel.

“In that case, that’s enough from you.”

“Eh……”

Without thinking, Noel raised his head. The manager was looking straight at his laptop and was not looking at Noel at all.

“I apologise for this but we do not have much time left. We wanted all of you to perform as a band, even if you looked for other band members now, it’s tight on our schedule. Besides, the other members are quite popular too.”

The manager gave Noel a fleeting glance as he said that. A scornful gaze was directed at him from behind those spectacles.

“……. Also, you were the one who hit your own band members, right? Don’t you think you went overboard? If you were to make an appearance, our reputation would suffer. I’m sorry but this time I have to refuse you.

“That……”

At the moment where Noel was about to raise his voice, someone knocked on the door. Standing there were the trio of former band members as well as a youth Noel had seen singing at several Live Houses.

“Ah—excuse me, were you in the middle of something? “

The former band member Yuuki spoke in a fake manner and the manager shook his head.

“No, we’re done here.”

“Wha……! Wait! I’m not done talking ye—“

“It’s a pity but please see yourself out.”

The manager said those kinds of words but his eyes held disdain. Yuuki, who was standing behind Noel, bowed to the manager as though he did not even see Noel at all.

“If it’s possible, please allow us perform in the live. You promised that we would be able to perform if we could find a vocalist. Our new vocalist is this guy…because it seems like he performed here before so I think you know him……”

“Ah! Of course I do. I see, so this is your new group.”

The manager exchanged words with the former band members and new vocalist. While smiling, they immediately steered to conversation to the live show. Noel quickly marched to the door as he listened to a conversation he did not want to hear.

The moment he passed Yuuki, Yuuki whispered something.

“——————“

The manager and vocalist were deep in a pleasant conversation and a demo CD was passed to the manager. The three former band members were not looking in Noel’s direction but they surely were laughing at him.

Before Noel could even make a retort, someone pushed his shoulder and he was forced out of the room. The door was shut.

Just as Noel was about to leave, a melody from the room made him freeze.

The moment the door bounced open a bit from the impact, the manager’s raised voice could be heard.

[[This song sounds great!]]

[[I made it for the next Live. I would like to go with this, what do you think?]]

[[Of course you can! This will surely cause quite a stir! ]]

Facing the door, Noel clenched his fists while listening to the cheerful laughter.

“This…. tch”

That was Noel’s song, the one he composed on the day he decided to break up the band.

In a fit of anger, Noel had left the music score there and left the place but to think that the members would have the nerve to use the score as they like. There was no way they would say that it was his melody.

They were supposed to be his members but they took away everything that he could have had.

Noel, who had left the Live House, remembered the words Yuuki said right next to his ear and he tightened his fists forcefully.

—Thanks to you deciding to give me that punch, we can participate in the live without you. Thank you.

“Shithead…. tch”

With the clenched fist, he hit the wall. That wall had the flyers which were about the live performance by Noel and Yuuki and the rest before they disbanded stuck on it. The moment he saw them, he forcefully tore them off and furiously crushed them in his hand.

(Those bastards……Everything, they planned it?! Being late, provoking others, it was deliberate……!)

Drinking until they were late, all the way to agitating Noel to punch one of them, it was all part of the plan. Stealing his music was however, most likely a happy miscalculation.

If he did not throw out a punch at that time, or at the very least, if he took the music score with his as he left……all those regrets kept floating in his head. Those were all his own regrets, he thought of them because he was unable to perform in the live. If they did not get in the way, things would have become better.

After all, Noel realized that he was also making use of them for his own sake.

(The shitty person is me as well.)

It was not as if anyone in the Live House approved or wanted him.

—He was not needed.

That reality, that fact weighed so much on Noel’s body that he could not even stand.

★

DON, and other violent sounds were produced. The sounds of beating the wall of his own room.

They were grating to the ear but still nothing could relieve his rage.

“Fuck! Why…. why can’t anything work out?!”

After the breakup with his band members, Noel put all his focus into resuming his composition of music, however no matter what melody he came up with, no matter how he sung, not one resounded to his own heart.

“I only…. have music left….”

Singing was his own way to live. Even though he had walked this path thinking like this till now, something wrong happened.

As it was suffocating being in a cramped room completely buried in music scores, he went out aimlessly.

He wandered around the streets as though his feet could not feel the ground.

“Hold it…right there!”

Noel smiled the instant he saw a chance to get into a brawl with some shady looking guys.

(Aah…what great timing.)

Those feelings that he could not swallow were cluttering his mind and he wanted to clear them away. Not wanting to think of anything anymore, he just wanted to hit people, if he hit someone and got beaten in turn, the pain he felt will likely make him forget things just a little.

Getting drawn into the alley, Noel was surrounded by three men. Looking at those three men like they were his three former band members, Noel wanted to hit them with all his strength. Though he could return all those punches and kicks without fail, being outnumbered was a disadvantage to him physically.

With a forceful blow, Noel was thrown into a pile of garbage. A foul stench that smelt like vomit that came from food waste or something invaded his nostrils. Even so, he saw the men who had smiles plastered on their faces.

“…That’s all you got? Wanna go at it some more?”

“What the hell……!”

Taunting Noel, one of the men raised his leg.

“Guh……!”

Noel’s gastric juices refluxed when the man stomped on his solar plexus forcefully. It was good that he did have anything to eat since morning and thoughts like how he did not care went through his head.

This did not matter, whatever will happen does not matter— as long as someone could teach him how to get rid of this frustrating feeling.

While coughing violently, Noel stood up to return the attacks. At that moment, another man entered the alley. He continued coughing frantically to catch his breath. As the light was behind the man, he could not see the face of the new opponent.

“Oi Oi, so that’s where you were.”

Even though Noel, who was still coughing, could not see his face, he could tell that the man was looking in his direction while saying that.

“Hahhh?! Who the hell are you?”

The thugs started yelling and heading towards the man who had ignored their presence.

The man looked over his shoulder at the thugs as though he felt that they were annoying.

“What the hell are you guys up to? This bastard borrowed money from our gang and decided to bail……I was looking for him. If there’s anything you want to say, would you like to come to my office?”

That single word from the man’s mouth caused the thug’s faces to turn into a horrible colour and they went away willingly.

After those thugs could no longer be seen, the man who said he was looking for Noel spoke in a carefree tone.

“Wow. They really ran away. I’m amazingly smart, aren’t I?”

That man turned to look at Noel as he spoke as such. His golden hair was combed into spikes, there were countless piercings on his face and ears and he was wearing flashy clothing that had the warning colours of black and yellow. It gave off an air of foulness that would not lose to those thugs but Noel knew that this man was not like that. The proof was that this man had grabbed Noel’s wrist and was pulling him up.

“Get out of my way, Eiji……let go.”

“Uh-oh. Cool~~~~ down, Noe-cchi.”

While still grabbing onto Noel’s wrist after pulling him up, the man laughed while barely stepping away.

“Who are you calling Noe-cchi? Do you want to get thrashed as well? …… I didn’t even borrow any money, you know. And what’s up with this gang and office and all that shit?”

Noel said as he carelessly threw the thrash that got stuck on him away after he got up. The man grinned broadly.

“The gang known as HEAVY EDGE where I, the genius internet blogger, Shibukawa Eiji, belongs to.”

Noel spat out a “Che” at the man who bragged about himself, Eiji.

“What kind of group is that, you’re the only member.”

“I am not the only member! It’s just niche and edgy!”

Noel just ignored Eiji and wiped his lips where there was a cut. There was a small injury somewhere in his mouth and he could only taste blood. Eiji stared at him when he spat out the blood.

“Don’t butt into my affairs.”

“Don’t you think that those shouldn’t be the words you ought to say to someone who helped you?”

“Helped? Did it look like I needed help?”

As Eiji received a glare of irritation, he guessed that Noel was in a foul mood and he raised both hands while giving a wry smile.

“I’m sorry for sticking my nose in but I only got in the way so I could have a chat with you……Ah, wait! Wait a minute, Noel!”

Eiji chased after Noel who had started to walk away, ignoring everything around him. When he was next to Noel, he started to talk some more even though Noel would not even look at him.

“Well, I don’t really need to know what got you into such a stormy mood but…”

Eiji probably knew of the incident that happened to Noel but as he was not sure of the conversation that might have happened, he wanted to hear the conclusion straight from the source.

“Since all of you disbanded, are you going to continue this alone?”

“…….ah.”

“They really did such a cowardly thing huh?”

Eiji muttered those few words though it was not known if he was trying to say something consoling. Noel became irritated at the words uttered by Eiji and he responded with a tut.

“I can do better without shitty friends like them.”

“What happened?”

“Are you gathering information or something? Stop messing around.”

“It’s not that! Hey, Noel! Wait up!”

Though Noel picked up his pace, Eiji still managed to catch up with him. In any case, Noel decided to kindly inform him about what happened since he was not the target here.

“If it’s about them, they already brought in a new vocalist. Why don’t you get your scoop from them? That vocalist seems pretty popular.”

“No, it doesn’t matter what they do, you….”

Eiji wanted to say something but Noel suddenly stopped purposefully cutting those words off, then went straight for the other party. Then a self mocking smile formed on his face.

“……. I bet all the things you wrote about us have gone to waste. You must be annoyed by me, right? If you are looking for a fight, I can give you one.”

Noel definitely had the look of someone who wanted a fight. Having such gaze upon him, Eiji felt as though he was going to be attacked but he quickly suppressed such an emotion.

“Tsu…………! Noel! I think that your—-“

Noel started to walk away, not willing to listen to Eiji’s words. He spoke to Eiji coldly.

“I have absolutely nothing to say to you. Go back already.”

Eiji managed to get around Noel and talk to him face to face.

“Just shut up for a minute and listen to me! —-It’s not as though I dislike your rock-and-roll way of living…”

Grabbing Noel’s shoulder, Eiji looked at him with a rare serious expression.

“Just leave that heat for your songs! Your songs are the real deal. They will definitely go through anyone’s hearts! You can lose anything, just don’t lose those songs!”

Eiji, who made a strong argument, got his hand roughly pushed off Noel’s shoulder.

“Shut up. This has nothing to do with you.”

Spitting those words out, Noel ducked past Eiji. Eiji turned around to look in Noel’s direction but he no longer followed. If he decided to stick around any longer, he might really be beaten up. Feeling both relief and regret, he became increasingly vexed.

Eiji who was left behind and could only watch Noel walk off from behind, let out a sigh and slumped his shoulders.

“………just don’t give up on singing.”

That murmur of words did not reach Noel and dissipated there and then.

 

Noel reached the roof of a multi-tenant building in an unsteady manner even though he did not have any alcohol to drink.

Leaning against the wall, Noel absent-mindedly gazed at the stars in the sky. But due to the glare of the city lights, they did not seem very visible. Suddenly, he remembered the night sky filled with stars which he saw when he was still living in the countryside.

The freezing wind bit into the wounds on his lips and he did not have the mood to sing.—Singing was supposed to be all that Noel had.

As though trying to drive away the fact that he was alone, the words just flowed out of him.

“What… am I singing for…..?”

Those words became a white mist and faded away into the air, not reaching anyone —-or so he expected.

Amongst the noise from the streets came a voice directed straight at Noel.

“What are you singing for?”

Noel turned his head around in a flustered manner.

He thought that the words that have came out as a white mist returned to him in the form of a man dressed in black.

“I heard your music.”

Because of the appearance of the man who spoke to him, Noel instinctively backed up.

Black boots, black pants, black long coat and long black hair. Furthermore, on that man’s face were a pair of sunglasses as black as the night.

Though they were both in darkness, that man’s appearance was so dark that Noel could see that he was wearing black.

(Suspicious looking! And that blackness! Toooootally black! What is wrong with him………! Hell, why is he wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night?!)

Noel spun around on his heel and headed towards the exit.

“You got the wrong person.”

Suspicious—-That was not the only thing. That aura he gave off too.

That man was wrapped in a deep black and it only made Noel feel uneasy.

(I better not get involved with him)

Noel could not go any deeper into this situation. That man was fishy. However, Noel noticed that he was somehow drawn to that pitch black.

“I would like to be your producer. Are you interested in getting a Major Debut?”

That was not a line that Noel had expected and he suddenly halted and spun around. However, almost immediately, he shook his head.

“If you’re trying to scam someone, try someone else. I won’t be fooled.”

“Your music is far too bloated with denials……and your vision is still too naïve.”

“Hah? What are you rambling about?”

“Why don’t you turn that frustration of yours into songs?”

Frustration. That feeling that he could never get rid of from since a long time ago.

“……. That’s what I’m saying. The loneliness that you are feeling is the same colour as the loneliness that I’m feeling.”

Frustration. Loneliness.

Those feelings were always inside Noel. They accumulated one after another since the day he was born, boiled over again and again, simmered and then become a muddy mess……It became something he could not deal with by himself.

(Saying something like he understands….!)

Once more, the muddy irritation rose up again and in order to hold back the hand that wanted to hit something, he clenched his fist even more tightly.

“We have the same colour of loneliness? We only just met, what the hell can you understand?”

“Because I’ve been watching you very closely. For quite a while now.”

“For, for a while….?

Confused, Noel narrowed his eyes and the man nodded.

“That’s right. Like a stalker. For quite a while.”

“Wha……?!”

Without thinking, Noel took a step back and the man laughed heartily at the reaction.

“I thought you were the kind of young person who could create interesting things, but……”

The man straightened his jet-black sunglasses. His gaze returned to looking at Noel and Noel’s face was reflected on those sunglasses.

“Perhaps it’s due to that personality of yours, just when you think things are going to go well, they fail……and this seems to repeat itself over and over. Like if you just buttoned up one button wrong, you’ll be irritated when you see it, won’t you?”

Noel’s heart starting to pound heavily. No, more like the man’s words seemed like a spear that managed to pierce through his heart.

“If you got the chance, you’ll surely be able to become a person who can fly far.”

(What is he talking about, a chance? In what place can I….)

For a split second, Noel looked at the man with a hopeful expression but he quickly hid it with an angry shout.

“Just what the hell do you know…?!”

“But I do know!”

The man suddenly raised his voice and smiled at Noel.

“The one who can give you this chance to fly is me! My mind is that of an adult! My body is also that of an adult. I am the genius producer, Revo!”

After the voice of the theatrical man rang out, the entire place fell into silence. Noel was so baffled by the entire thing that he was unable to say anything.

(I de, definitely cannot be involved with this guy……. Hm? Just now, this guy, said he was a producer?)

“Noel.”

Even though it seemed like Noel wanted to escape without a word, that man calling him, brought back his attention like a guide.

“What are you singing for? What did you run here for?”

The man looked up at the night sky. Underneath those sunglasses, as though searching for something, his eyes looked around……that was what it looked like.

Then, his gaze moved to Noel.

“I think that at present, you are unable to make anything that can light up the hearts of your listeners.”

The man then spread his arms akimbo as though he was embracing something.

“The souls of musicians [we] are free. We can turn any kind of sadness into a story. Let us deliver songs in order to get closer to someone’s world.”

“To get closer…”

For some reason, those words seemed to fall heavily on Noel’s chest. And at that kind of timing, the man held out a book before Noel. The title was [ The Nighthawk Star]. Noel did not recognize the title or the author.
(T/N: The Nighthawk Star is a book by Miyazawa Kenji. Contents of the book will be explained later in this novel)

However, Noel’s gaze was glued on the book. The man did not say anything and only continued holding out the book in front of Noel.

–At this moment, you probably need this book.

It felt as though this book was filled with words like that.

Something, was going to change. Something was probably going to change.

Noel touched the book. The man’s hand left and the book was passed to Noel’s hand. As he felt the weight of the book, he returned to his senses.

(What, the hell am I doing……?)

Noel wanted to let go of the book immediately but he could not. He put too much strength into the hand that held it, most likely because of the shock he felt.

“I just got betrayed………! What am I doing, being led around by such a guy?”

Noel shouted at himself for being tricked.

(I can’t trust other people……!)

That was Noel’s self defense to survive.

Nobody will protect him. Because in this world, no one needed his existence. That was why he must protect himself.

Grasping the book that he received, Noel flung the book at the man.

The book that was thrown in anger hit the man’s shoulder and landed at his feet with a thud.

Noel would not have been at a disadvantage in this kind of scenario so why should he feel as such…. he could not understand.

He could not understand and got angry. The blood rushed to his head so it could not be helped.

Noel lashed out at the man standing before him with a furious tone.

“Trusting a really suspicious guy like you? As if! You’re fucking annoying, disappear!”

Noel quickly ran to the door before the man could say anything. Full of rage that could not simmer down, not even a bit, he shut the door and ran down the stairs.

“Damn, damn, damn it…….!!”

Again, the frustration welled up from the depths of his body.

Revo shrugged his shoulders as he looked at the door that was slammed with a particularly loud noise.

“While asking others to disappear, he disappeared first.”

The door that was closed with all of one’s might sprung open again. A particularly loud creak came from that opening as though it was asking Revo if it would be better if he gave chase.

Revo picked up the book that fell at his feet after it was hurled back by Noel.

“Well, I already know that it’s not like his personality to jump on board immediately.”

Brushing off the dirt that stuck on the surface of the book, Revo smiled to himself as though Noel was still there.

★

The yellow object in front of Noel’s eyes was bobbing around in the bath tub. It was a duck he got from a fan as a joke and he somehow decided to keep it in his bathroom. It looked at Noel as though it was worried about him.

After sinking into the tub and immersing his body into the warmth of the bath water, he seemed to have calmed down a bit.

He held onto his irritation the whole time as he headed back home, and once he stepped into his own room, he felt this overwhelming fatigue.

He wanted to just fall asleep on the spot but noticed a foul smell hitting his nose due to having a brawl at a garbage dump. Even though he felt that he had fallen to such a miserable state, he somehow managed to drag himself to the bathroom.

“What’s up with that guy….?”

Debut. Producer. Those were supposed to be words that would delight him, but they truly did not resound with him then. He thought it largely had to do with the personality of the person who said those words.

— What are you singing for? What did you run here for?

At that instant, no answer came to him. For what was he singing for and where was he planning to run to.

— Perhaps it’s due to that personality of yours, just when you think things are going to go well, they fail……and this seems to repeat itself over and over. Like if you just buttoned up one button wrong, you’ll be irritated when you see it, won’t you?

Noel threw out a punch in the bath when he recalled the man’s gentle tone and the rubber duck bobbed further away from him.

“Talking as if he understands, detestable…!”

Every single word that the man said pierced through Noel. Far from missing the mark, all of them hit close to home.

But when he recalled the words that came with them, the ones that said that that man had been watching him for quite a while, Noel got the chills even though he was still in the bath tub. He sank into the water blowing bubbles.

“……okay, stop thinking about it.”

Noel said that while still in the water, then he stood up from the bath tub forcefully. Soon after, he noticed that his smartphone which he left outside was ringing.

Getting out of the bath, he tied up his hair and retrieved his smartphone which he had left in his coat. The ringing continued. The call was from Eiji. It cut off after he ignored it for a while, but at the next moment, the notification that he was receiving an incoming call popped up again.

Noel was tempted to switch off his phone but he stopped himself. If it was Eiji, it was possible that he knew something about the man called Revo. With such a thought, Noel pressed the button that connected the call.

[……Oh? I got through? Noel, are you still alive?]

Eiji, who sounded surprised that the call actually connected, was on the other end of the line.

“What do you mean by that?”

[Nothing–, did you pitter patter your way home safely? I was wondering what I should do if you died.]

“I won’t die from injuries like this.”

[Haha. If that’s all you can say then you’re probably okay!]

Eiji was laughing but he was relieved as well. Though Noel was starting to feel a bit irritated by Eiji being worried about him, he pushed those feelings to the back of his head and asked Eiji.

“Hey, do you know Revo?”

[Revo? Ah……What’s that?]

“It’s alright if you don’t know.”

“Ah–! Wait, wait, I heard of that name before! What was it again….”

Noel held back the urge to loudly say that he was hanging up while Eiji started to make “erm” and “hm” sounds. He could hear the other party searching through his memories. A few seconds later, Eiji raised his voice.

[It, it’s that! The mysterious musician Revo!]

“Mysterious musician? What’s up with that? He’s not a producer?”

[I never heard anyone say that he’s a producer. But it seems like he provided various compositions for a broad range of programs and activities.]

While Eiji was talking, Noel could hear the tapping of the keyboard and the clicking sounds of a mouse.

“……What are you looking at right now?”

[Ah, you can hear me?]

“Well, whatever.”

[But I can’t seem to find any details, you know? No one knows his real identity, I mean, he is called the mysterious musician after all, right? But all the songs he provided are pretty well known…. Ah–, the melody in this CM is amazing! The artist is also Revo! He~~!]
(T/N: CM means commercial)

“…………mysterious, huh………”

It was definitely suspicious. In the first place, it was doubtful if that man was really Revo himself.

[What—the— heck, there appears to be rumors that he came from another world. In one of the songs that he brought in in the beginning, there seems to be the sound of some unknown instrument inside. He seems like an urban legend of sorts already.]

“Oh.”

Noel responded to Eiji, who was starting to say some interesting things, with a curt tone. Just when he was considering ending the call there and then, Eiji’s tone changed. He sounded slightly more excited.

[Hey, why did you ask about such things out of the blue? Could it be that you want to become a producer and you’re going to give up on singing?! Please tell me the details –]

“I encountered a suspicious guy, that’s all.”

Eiji had yet to finish what he was about to say into the phone but Noel was not in the mood to listen. He mercilessly tapped the [END CALL] button and switched off his phone.

Mysterious musician.

“What’s going on?”

That man claimed that he was a talented producer but he was not known as a producer? He was definitely a conman then.

However, that man’s words continued to echo in Noel’s mind.

What are you singing for?

“Gah –! It has nooooooothing to do with me anymore, fuck! Sleep!”

Yelling as such, he flopped into his bed.

(Suspicious people are detestable. Speaking of which, when I was a kid, I met this strange guy who was loitering around in the middle of the night….)

Lying on the bed, sleep started to overcome him. Drowsily, he thought back to that memory from that period of time.

(That time, Baa-chan died and I was left with relatives…. I didn’t want to go back to their house and I guess I was just wandering around….)

It was the time when his relatives just got custody of Noel after his grandmother, who was his only blood kin, had passed away.

 

A quarrel broke out among the relatives about who was to take Noel in as they stood vigil overnight during the wake.
(T/N: In case anyone if unfamiliar with it, during a wake, the relatives of the deceased stay overnight the funeral location (usually the home of the deceased) to keep watch over the body. It’s an Asian practice I think?)

Till now, those whispers still remained in his ears. He did not really keep in mind the sorrow and sadness he felt when his grandmother had passed away that time, however those whispering voices that had coiled themselves around his brain came back again.

“What do we do about that child?”

“What do we do…. I don’t really want to take him in.”

“That kind of hair colour……he must be a child his mother had from fooling around after all.”

“My own child has an upcoming middle school exam. I’m not free to care for that child.”

“Hasn’t anyone seen his mother? Abandoning her own child, what is she thinking?”

“What a troublesome thing she left behind.”

In the end, he was taken in by the relatives who had a child about his age. However, it was not a place where he belonged to. Everything he was given were hand-me-downs and with that kind of dressing and the appearance he was born with, he got bullied in school. If anyone was wondering if Noel was of any use in the first home he was taken in to, he was, in making the other child look better. There was a clear difference between them and Noel was treated as though he could not be seen.

Talk went around the school that Noel was taken in and he was called an “abandoned child” in school. In the end, upon hearing that, Noel repaid those bullies with violence.

Because Noel had once again hit another child, who had teased him, the mother of the family who took him in was called to the school. After she spoke to the teachers and left the school’s office, she asked Noel.

“Why did you do such a thing?”

“They called me an abandoned child….”

Hearing Noel’s words, the mother sighed. Then Noel noticed she was not really asking for a reason. She did not care about the reason that Noel had for fighting, it was just that she was responsible for his violent acts. After that, Noel did not say anything else and without even looking at Noel, she went back first.

While walking back alone to the house, Noel tried to hold his tears back.

I don’t want to go home, I don’t belong there, why must I go back?

However, at that time, that house was the only place Noel could go back to. When Noel put his hand of the doorknob of the door to the lobby, he heard a crash and the sound of something breaking coming from inside the house. It might be a burglar. Noel stood there wondering what he should do but it was followed by a high-pitched and angry scream.

[That child is getting out of hand!] 

[I understand, I understand, so please calm down.]

[We go out of our way to take him in, why does he cause so much trouble?!]

 I never wanted to be taken in. I never even wanted to come to this place. Even if I am alone, I want to stay at my grandmother’s house forever.

[Just because he got called an abandoned child?! He’s one, isn’t he?!]

The words that were yelled out at an especially loud volume. If they were said by people his age – by children, it just made him mad. But if this truth was yelled out by an adult, it was heavy enough to even crush the emotions of anger.

Noel’s hand left the door and he tore down the streets. He ran towards another direction, away from this school, a path unknown to him. A scenery unknown to him. But that was alright. He did not want to return to that home after all. He did not want to go to that school. They made him sick. He did not belong there.

Running and running, he only walked when he got tired, then he ran again. Before long, the sun had set and it was pitch black. That time, he reached an unfamiliar park.

(Someone is singing….)

It was a man’s voice. Noel walked in the direction of that voice with it was his guide.

On a bench under a street lamp was a youth playing his guitar alone and a song came out of his mouth. He seemed to be enjoying himself and Noel’s entire consciousness was captured.

While listening, his tears spilled out.

That song comforted his heart, which had been hurt from being ostracized by others.

He stopped singing after his grandmother passed away. He felt that that desire to sing had been buried along with his grandmother.

Noel planned to hide behind the trees but it seemed like the youth had seen him already. When he saw Noel, he smiled and waved Noel over while saying “come over here.”

Noel approached the youth while keeping his guard up and the other party laughed saying “you’re like a cat”. Pretending to be offended, the youth sat next to Noel and started to strum his guitar in a delighted manner. It was a musical scale that was different from the ballad he played earlier and Noel felt like his heart strings were getting pulled too. Without thinking, he started smiling as the youth sung with lyrics that matched the melody.

Seeing that Noel was smiling, the youth asked if there was any song that Noel would like to listen to. After thinking for a bit, a melody came into his head and he said to him.

“Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.”

Though he liked singing, he did not know that many songs. But since this song was sung in school, he knew it well.

The youth murmured “French Chanson then?” When he said that, Noel somehow remembered that his own father was French.

The youth said that he liked that song too and without delay, performed it. The youth asked Noel to sing together and he did. At first, Noel sang softly because he was shy about it but he got caught up in the youth’s singing and sang loudly too.

It started with a normal version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Then one with its tempo sped up. One with the tempo slowed down. A ballad version an even a rock version…. A variety of tempos and singing styles were sung to Noel.

Singing again and again, Noel sang with all his breath.

The songs that were played for Noel’s sake, for that short moment, his heart that have been crushed by a heavy weight felt a lot lighter.

The songs that he sung with someone else echoed in his chest even more than any comforting words that could have been said to him.

After singing on and on like he never did before, his voice started to become hoarse. Unexpectedly, the youth stroked Noel’s head and said.

“Just like me, there’s definitely people out there who will appreciate you. So don’t give up on yourself.”

Until then, there was nothing but joy and Noel felt great. However, those words made him feel as though he had been pushed off a cliff. The youth looked like he wanted to say something to Noel who had run off but Noel ignored him, not wanting to listen.

He did not want to listen to anything anymore.

It was the first and last enjoyable session that he had.

 

Remembering his feelings at that time, Noel was awoken from the middle of dozing off.

(After that, I was under the custody of the police for a while and then forcefully sent back to that house. A different family took me in after…)

He had lost count of the number of families that have taken him in. No matter where he went, Noel just did the same things. In other to protect himself, he bit any person who dared to get involved with him……and then, he lived alone. Even so, he continued to sing —

(Because I could not forget those feelings I had when I sung that night….is that why I kept singing till now……?)

That was the only time he enjoyed himself from the bottom of his heart. The more he sang, the more the heavy and dark feelings he held onto flew away.

As his vision became clearer, the disordered room stared back at him faintly.

(I can’t remember that person’s name or face, but only what he said….)

He had always remembered them. Even though he wanted to forget, he could not. It would not vanish after being engraved in his heart.

That night, while singing with that person, he felt like he finally connected with someone.

Just like me, there’s definitely people out there who will appreciate you. So don’t give up on yourself.

“……That kind of person, doesn’t exist.”

Replying the youth he met in the past, Noel closed his eyes.

Even so, those words could not be pushed out of Noel’s memories. No matter how tough it got, whether it was himself or his music, he could not abandon them.

★

In a store dimly lit by amber colored lights, time flowed by together with the calm sound of a piano.

The sounds of the revolving door spinning open and of the high heels of female guests echoed throughout the store.

“…Welcome”

A female guest saw Noel when she was at the revolving door and she spoke loudly in delight as she went to get a seat.

She was a regular patron who had visited this store several times.

“Ah! Noel. Today is the day you are here, lucky –!”

Noel was focused on wiping the glasses but the female patron’s sickly-sweet voice and the fragrance of her perfumed crossed the counter and coiled around him. He was honestly poor at dealing with female guests but facing this woman was his job.

“Will you sing me a song today~?”

“……I’m not in the mood.”

“Eh-, you’re so cold today too~”

Noel replied with a curt answer but as the female guest was already drunk, she continued to smile happily while chatting Noel up. As though covering all that up, Noel spoke like how he was supposed to when he was working.

“……What would you like?”

“Hmmmm…. I would like a Jack Rose.”

“Certainly.”

Nodding brusquely in a trained manner, he went to prepare a shaker. Ever since he came here to do part-time work, he had somewhat memorized the countless cocktail recipes this place had to offer.

He poured the cocktail’s base, that being Calvados, a kind of Apple brandy, into the shaker. Then a small amount of Grenadine syrup made from pomegranate and the juice squeezed from half a lime. After that ice was added into the shaker. He did not dislike the light sound produced next to his ear in the course of this work.

“Noel, you’re so cool –!”

The female guest let out a high-pitched squeal. Making a simple cocktail that can be found anywhere, what was so cool about that?

Noel was bad with women since he could remember. Just when he thought they were only watching from a distance, suddenly they would get very close and intimate with him, what they were thinking of, he did not know. And he was unable to fight them with all his strength like he would with male opponents.

He was going to go mad. And forgetting that the person in front of him was a guest, he glared at the guest with a sour look.

“…don’t say that.”

“What’s wrong with that? Are you embarrassed? How cute –! Oh, yay, you’re talking to me casually!”

“What’s there to be embarrassed about… Please wait for a while.”

On the surface, Noel let slip his colloquial way of speaking. He opened the lid to the shaker and tipped it over a cocktail glass. A liquid as red as garnet and a tart fragrance flowed out.

“Your Jack Rose.”

Using his finger tips, he pushed the glass in front of the female guest, his eyes met with hers as she looked towards him. Instinctively, he averted his eyes. However, the lady, not caring about what just happened, tilted her head while trying to meet Noel’s gaze.

“Hey, Noel, go out with me.”

“……. I’ll pass.”

“My –, you’re really cold! Well, that’s the good thing about you, Noel – but, but, it’s seriously becoming warmer already, I also want to welcome my spring, you know?! Don’t you feel that way as well?!”

“Please welcome it where I’m not around.”

Just as the female guest said, the seasons were changing from winter to spring.

It had already been more than a month since that man, Revo appeared. It was now the second half of March.

While responding to the female guest in an appropriate manner, Noel remembered the incident with the man who introduced himself as Revo.

(In the end, it was probably just a scam or something……What an idiot I was, listening to him so seriously.)

He was infuriating himself again by remembering that black-clad figure. Noel wanted to forget the impression left behind by that figure, but he was unable to shake it off.

And another thing that was unforgettable was the book that that man passed to him. That book did not leave an impression as strong as that man, it looked like the kind of book you could get anywhere so why did he reach out for it?

[The Nighthawk Star]

That was the title written on that book. What was in that book? And that black-clad man who passed him the book, Noel felt something then – Was that feeling just an illusion?

Noel does not regret rejecting the offer about getting a producer, just that he was curious about the odd aura that he was feeling from that man.

(Ah –………I’m thinking about this again. Stop that. It’s distracting.)

It was an incident of the past. He was not doing well when it came to composing, so his mind wandered to other matters. Now he was working. He needed to focus.

With the counter between the female guest and Noel, the former spoke loudly in a displeased manner.

“Hey – Noel –, are you listening to me –? Why don’t you just work here full-time? Because I come here every day — ”

“No, you don’t.”

Noel said in a soft voice, the corners of his mouth turning downwards. When Noel gave that face, the female guest seemed to flinch a bit but immediately, she went back to her original tone.

“Ehhhhhhhh~ Whyyyyy~~?”

“I…. want to sing.”

“Ah, I see – That’s right, that’s right. Noel, you’re so cool when you sing –“

Had this female guest gone to Noel’s live to watch him sing?

Noel thought of asking her but a decent answer would not be received from this drunkard.

Noel did part-time work at this jazz bar on an irregular basis.

(If I get fired from here again……well, it’s okay anyway.)

There was a time in the past when Noel was fired from this very store.

He got into a dispute with a man who was very persistent towards dead drunk women. The other party raised his fists against him so Noel also returned the blows. The drunkard who was not very good at fighting was easily knocked away, got injured more seriously than expected and was thus sent to the hospital. Fortunately, there were plenty of witnesses to the incident and no charges were pressed against him. However, it was still a fact that he hit a customer so the owner fired him.

“Although this is a rather decent part-time job….”

—At the very least, this was better compared to the other part-time jobs, which made him so regretful to the point that he grumbled without thinking.

Naturally, after Noel managed to run away from the house of the relatives who last took him in, he had no shelter and of course, he had no money as well. There was no establishment that would employ an under-aged youth so he worked part-time jobs while faking his age and address. But the amount he earned was so meager, they disappeared almost immediately. At this rate, he definitely would not be able to sing.

Therefore, he reached out to a part-time job at a place where the employers did not even inquire about his educational history, his age or even his name.

He just had to bring items of unknown contents or people to an appointed place and then he would receive a large sum of money. It was not his problem whoever got hurt after that. It was their own fault for being weak. Telling himself that, he continued this job.

One time, during one of his jobs, he got dragged into a suspicious looking office. He got surrounded by huge men and seeing that they had guns with them, he truly felt that his life was in danger. It would be terrible if he became unable to sing because of that. Seizing a chance moment, he managed to escape and for a while, he did not dare to step outside.

After things settled after that, he started working at this jazz bar. Noel’s singing became popular after just performing once but as he got fired from that bar due to the violent incident, he thought of working part-time at another bar instead. When he was searching for another part-time job, he received a call from that bar. More people than expected had expressed that they missed Noel’s singing. Therefore, Noel started to work at the bar on an irregular schedule.

No matter what, there was still one incident of violence caused by him. Therefore, the manager still had his misgivings towards Noel, but thinking that the latter could help him earn more money, Noel was frequently contacted to work during certain shifts.

Thinking to this point, the manager came over and whispered to Noel so that the customers would not hear.

“Oi, Noel, stop with the idle chit chat.”

“….sorry.”

The customer was selfishly talking to me yet listening to them was not part of the job? That kind of thought crossed Noel’s mind however he did not say it out loud. In any case, if he did, he would probably be met with sarcasm.

While apologizing to the manager, Noel turned to face the female guest who had completely drained her cocktail and tried to round up the conversation. However, at the same time when Noel turned, the female guest ordered a Salty Dog.

When this standard cocktail was made, the female guest picked it up and stood up.

“Noel sing something~! I, I won’t leave until you do~”

“No, I already said today……”

Not listening to Noel’s words, the female guest, as though wanting to speak to someone else, started chatting with other guests.

It seems like a couple entered during that time and overheard the entire conversation. Looking at Noel, they asked the manager.

“What, this guy is a singer?”

“Yeah, he’s hopeless at his job but he’s alright when it comes to singing.”

(What do you mean, alright?)

Looking down on his abilities while trying to sell it at the same time.

“Then, why don’t we let him sing for us a bit?”

The manager said those words in a dismissive way. There was some taunting within that voice and Noel got irritated.

(But right now, I’m not in the mood for singing…)

Noel’s feelings showed up on his face and the manager spoke softly.

“When you sing, they fork out their cash. Isn’t that good? Go sing.”

“…I understand.”

“Alright, go bring the guitar over.”

“Didn’t I tell you that it needs to get repaired?”

Actually, I do not feel like singing so I will not get it, Noel said with not a shred of civility.

Whatever, I said you’re going to do it so just do it.

The manager looked at Noel with an irritated look on his face but smiled when he faced his customers.

“Please wait for a moment.”

After saying that, the manager went to the back room of the store to take the store’s guitar.

(In the end, I get forced to sing……)

Though Noel had expected the situation to turn out this way, he still could not find the mood to care.

“Here, Noel!”

Wearing an expression as though this was an important task, the manager brought over the acoustic guitar that was left in the back room.

Noel reluctantly took the guitar and while letting out a small sigh, made his way to the narrow stage at the back of the bar.

After sitting on a small stool, he went to adjust the guitar.

In order to tune the guitar, Noel plucked its strings to listen to its sound.

At that moment, there was a sharp twang.

The guests who were seated at the table in front of the stage shrunk back in surprise.

“……ha?”

That moment of astonishment was as though a balloon suddenly popped and Noel stared at the cause of the sound. One of the guitar’s strings had snapped.

“That scared me~. The string snapped, huh~”

The female guest from earlier said while smiling. She had come in front of the stage.

Noel called out to his manager who he could see standing at the counter.

“Manager, do we have any replacement strings?”

“Well……I wonder if we have any –“

The manager tilted his head with a vague smile. He did not particularly care about the guitar’s maintenance, so he probably did not prepare any.

Noel was astonished that this man could still be called the manager of this jazz bar. A large part of the reason why he did not feel much regrets being fired from this bar was because the manager thought of music as nothing more than a mere supplement.

“My apologies……”

Noel apologised to the couple who were seated at the table nearby but they just laughed in a forgiving manner.

“It’s alright, it’s nothing much. It’s not like we wanted to listen to you singing that much.”

They did not mean it with malice. However, to Noel, those words gouged out a chunk of his heart. The voices of those members and the manager of the Live House stirred up in his mind.

—that’s enough already.

—that’s enough from you.

Words of resignation. Voices of exasperation. We do not need the likes of you.

(Saying that when they know nothing about me…….tch)

Everyone in the store had stopped looking at Noel and returned to their own chattering.

In the middle of the waves of murmurs, Noel clenched his fist.

(I’ll make you regret saying that.)

Those words that he muttered in his own mind were not for the guests in the bar but for his former band members as well as the manager of the Live House.

“It can’t be helped then. No singing for today. I’ll just head to the back.”

The manager said to Noel who was not looking over in his direction, implying that he should return to working.

Noel sucked in a deep breath and his voice echoed throughout the bar as though it came from his entire body.

“———————-”

Hearing his voice, the idle chatter of the guests silenced and the attention of everyone in the bar fell on Noel who was singing loudly.

And it was not just their eyes, he knows that they are listening to him.

However, if he continued to sing without any instrumentals, their attention would start to drift away. Noel sensed that this would happen and he changed his method of singing, hitting against the table to a beat.

Then someone clapped their hands, joining into the beat. That action spread throughout the entire bar.

Noel carefully extended the last phrase of his song and his singing entered a crescendo. Within the store, the applause came loudly.

Looking over at this scene, one can see that there were many smiling faces looking over at Noel’s direction. Seeing the crowd, Noel smiled too and he gave a gentle bow.

If he sung, he feels that he could connect with someone. After a long time, he finally remembered the reason for singing. He wanted to just soak up the good atmosphere but the voices that got in the way of that kept echoing in his head.

Abandoned child

That’s enough from you.

You’re the one getting all the attention so you are getting ahead of yourself?

You’re so annoying.

He knows that he should not let himself get ensnared by those words

However, Noel was only aware of the world where he was always left out. If he tried to make a connection with someone, that bond would quickly be severed.

A self-deprecating smile naturally emerged on his face.

(I wonder if there will be anyone here who will remember my singing….)

The people here are merely drunk from the alcohol and atmosphere. There was no one who gathered here for the sake of listening to Noel’s singing.

The applause gradually decreased and just when Noel considered returning to his work, there was someone who continued clapping. Looking in the direction of the sound, he saw a woman who was sitting at the counter clapping her hands in front of her chest.

That woman who was seated there had long, straight hair and was wearing black gothic clothing. Though the woman seemed like a doll who was just sitting on the seat, she gave her applause to Noel. There was definite warmness from that smile on her slightly blushing translucent pale skin.

“Your voice is as wonderful as ever tonight, Noel-sama.”

“………What do you want, Marie?”

While returning to the counter, he spoke to the other party with an unfriendly tone and look. The woman who looked like a doll – Marie replied, dropping her ladylike act.

“Of course, I came here to listen to Noel-sama’s singing! It’s the first time I heard you singing without any instrumentals, though it’s different from how you usually perform, it’s really feels fresh. Furthermore, that ballad that you sung in such a graceful way……My ears are so blessed from being able to thoroughly listen to Noel-sama’s singing…….Uu!”

She had accidentally let slip of the word blessed and the woman covered her pink cheeks with both her hands. With a “hooh”, she breathed out. Though her exterior appearance was like a doll, she unexpectedly could make many different expressions.

Not knowing how he should be reacting towards this entranced woman, Noel turned his eyes away and only spoke to her in a blunt voice.

“…….Don’t you feel embarrassed, saying things like that?”

“Fu fu~, I was just expressing how I truly felt. After all……”

With a smile still lingering on her face, a sincere twinkling dwelled in her eyes. Those eyes looked straight at Noel and she declared.

“My duty is to convey to others the magnificence of Noel-sama’s songs.”

Those eyes burning in pride and those words showed how hardcore that woman was.

She was a writer from the Visual Kei monthly magazine [V-Rock Heaven] and wrote articles under the pen name Marie*Marie.

“I have to let more people know about Noel-sama’s songs! There’s no other song out there that attracts the heart so strongly once you listen to it!”
(T/N: Cough* Revo’s songs Cough*)

Because she spoke with such burning enthusiasm, unexpectedly, her long eyelashes fluttered, hiding her extremely determined gaze. Patting her cheeks with her hands, she muttered softly after letting out a sigh.

“…….Well, if Noel-sama became popular amongst many people, I will be very troubled….”

Because a customer in the neighbouring seat got up in a noisy manner, Marie’s muttering could not be head, however it seemed like a monologue so Noel was not going to react to it. He continued talking to Marie as he washed some glasses in the sink.

“…….by the way, how did you know that I’ll be here today?”

“For the past few days, I have been trying to find Noel-sama. Since you haven’t been to the studio, I thought that you might be here. ……Ah! Of, of course, it’s not like I’m stalking you or anything like that?!”

“I don’t doubt you. Calm down.”

Shaking both her hands, Marie justified her actions flustered, as her face grew red. Feeling some pity at how desperate she was, Noel gave a forced smile and kept quiet so that she would calm down. However, right after that.

“Such bold words. So suspicious~ Marie.”

Noel raised his head towards that teasing voice. Marie also turned her head towards the man who said that with a sullen look.

“Eiji!”

Marie called out that man’s name with an accusatory tone.

Eiji, with his usual spiky hair, a flashy parka, started waving both his hands in defense towards a furious Marie.

“I’m just kidding, don’t blow up.”

“Even if you meant it as a joke, it’s in bad taste!”

“That’s why I’m SO-RRY.”

Eiji apologized to Marie in a light-hearted manner and then looked at Noel.

“So you were here after all, Noel. I was looking for you.”

“What’s going on, are you in this together……”

“We are not in this together, it’s a coincidence!”

Marie puffed her cheeks in protest and turned away from Eiji in a huff. It seems like her anger had not been quelled at all.

Noel tilted his head, trying to figure out the why the both of them had the common point of “Looking for Noel.”

“Both of you were looking for me…so what do you two want from me exactly?”

Smiles emerged on Eiji’s and Marie’s faces at the same time but the first one to open his mouth was Eiji.

“Of course, it’s to get an interview from you ASAP.”

Marie who heard that, became frantic.

“Wha…….! I won’t allow such a thing! I will be the first one to write a report about Noel-sama!”

“I was the one who had my eye on Noel first, no?”

“That has no bearing to the current matter! Besides, I was the first one to tell the world about Noel-sama’s charm!”

“I was also the first to do that, by the way.”

Eiji and Marie, who were both writers, always had this kind of argument when they met each other face-to-face. Though the direction of both their articles should be different, they end up battling against each other about the interviewee. And after associating with each other like that for a long while, they probably recognized each other as a rival.

Both of them were fighting with each other to determine who will get to interview Noel first but Noel was not really paying attention to their conversation at all.

Firstly, there should not be anything for them to interview him about.

After his band split up, Noel started going into various activities on his own, but he had not come up with any good song. Although Noel thought that maybe they intended to write an article about those ad-hoc activities, from how the two of them were acting, they did not seem to be the case.

“……what do you both plan to report about anyway?”

Eiji and Marie who were arguing all this time both looked at Noel with widened eyes.

“What’s with that look…….?”

Noel furrowed his brows when he was stared at by the two interviewers like that. Eiji blurted out his words upon seeing Noel’s reaction.

“Oi, Oi. It’s not like you to joke around, Noel.”

“Ha?”

Did they really intend to write about his solo activities? That kind of thing should not even make a good article. Noel narrowed his eyes, puzzled by what he thought. Marie’s eyes sparkled and leaning on the counter almost as though she was about to leap it, she spoke.

“Of course, it’s about that!…….I…”

Realising that she raised her voice unintentionally, Marie covered her mouth in embarrassment and lowered her volume. Then she smiled in a delighted manner.

“Congratulations!”

That single shocking word left her mouth.

“You got your major debut at last!”

“……ha?”

Now? Why?

Noel could not grasp the meaning of Marie’s words immediately.

Major Debut.

Who? What? How?

Eiji stood before Noel who was frozen in shock, grinning from ear to ear.

“Why didn’t ya tell me once you knew?! Aren’t we best buds?! Tell me all about it!”

“Eh……”

He could not catch up to the situation.

(Tell you about what?)

Was there something that he should have told Eiji but did not? No, came the immediate reply.

Marie, who was smiling in a friendly manner, abruptly let out a depressed sigh.

“But….if Noel-sama belongs to everyone later……tch. How complicated….”

“Ahh, I know right. For an Indies band that you like to make a debut. It makes me happy but lonely as well……”

“Right! That’s exactly what I think! My stance is very complex but…. No, it’s not something that I should trouble Noel-sama about. The joy brought about by Noel-sama’s major debut outweighs my loneliness.”

“Yeah, that how it is. As his bosom friends, we should be celebrating. Sorry for saying such petty things. I’m looking forward to it, Noel.”

Staring at Eiji and Marie who were busy becoming depressed then in high spirits on their own, Noel only had one thought going through his head.

What are these two talking about?

Looking back at the two people with that thought in his head, he asked.

“…….Are you both drunk?”

“”……Ha?””

This time, it was Eiji and Marie’s turns to be staring.

“Wha—t are you talking about?! Were you forced to drink by your customers?! I also want to treat you to a celebratory toast!”

“Fu fu~ Noel-sama also tells jokes? That kind of Noel-sama is so cute……I mean, so wonderful.”

They could not read between the lines. And the two of them floating in happiness just annoyed Noel.

“Oi.”

He said with a low voice, interrupting the conversation. The two stared at Noel who had a stern expression. Marie was slightly taken aback by Noel glaring at them with a sharp gaze but Noel just continued speaking.

“Stop fooling around already. I don’t care if it’s just a joke. A major debut, don’t tell me……you mean them?”

The former band members who merely made use of Noel came to mind. Noel had an uneasy look in his eyes.

If they really came to interview Noel, who was their former member for such a thing, he should just chase them away. However, Eiji and Marie were so surprised and startled by Noel’s outburst that they just stared back at him with a dumfounded expression.

“……Noel, do you really mean that?”

“Ha? What, explain yourself already!”

He unintentionally spoke in a rough way. Other guests who were near the counter looked in their direction, puzzled.

Marie explained tilting her head.

“Isn’t Noel-sama the one who got a Major Debut?”

“Me……?”

“OI, Noel, how much longer do you intend to keep chatting?”

Just as Noel was being confused by Marie’s words, the manager spoke to Noel, clearly displeased. Before Marie and Eiji could protest, Noel shot a sharp glare at the manager.

“I’m going to take a break……”

Noel’s glare and forceful tone caused the manager to cower and he did not speak any further. He then brought Marie and Eiji to a corner in the bar.

“Oi, what’s the meaning of all this?”

A slight blush appeared on Marie’s cheeks as Noel drew close to her.

“Wha, what’s the meaning of this, it’s not—“

As Marie was trying to say something, the door to the bar opened with a clank and a man wearing a suit entered and walked in Noel’s direction.

“Excuse me, is this—“

With a gaze that was glaring daggers, Noel turned to look at the man and the man trembled.

“What, can’t you see I’m busy?!”

“Noel! He’s a customer! A customer! Shouldn’t you be saying “Welcome”?!”

Are you thinking of jumping at this guy at this kind of time like this, Eiji said as he grabbed Noel’s shoulder. Hearing that, Noel remembered that he was still in the middle of work. Then he spoke to the man that was more or less how an employee in this establishment should.

“…….Welcome.”

“That’s totally not the face that a service staff member should be making, Noel.”

In the midst of Eiji and Marie giving strained smiles, the man gently lifted his hand in front of Noel and looked in his direction.

“Actually, about that, I’m not a customer….are you, Noel?”

Noel was surprised that the man knew his name but he just looked back with a suspicious expression.

“….yes, I am….who are you?”

The man smiled kindly when Noel asked him that. At a glance, given the suit that he was wearing, he seemed to be a businessman. However, with red glasses perched on a gentle face and brown hair that was styled in a moderate manner, he did not seem that tough.

“Nice to meet you, my name is Ichizou Ninosuke. I’m from the talent agency One & One + One.”

With a smile, the man handed over his name card. While thinking that the situation was pretty fishy, Noel still took the name card in his hand to inspect it. There was really the agency’s name that the man said that he was from as well as his name. The telephone number and email of the agency was clearly written there too.

Noel raised his head and met the man’s eyes and the man said to him.

“From now on, I will take on the duty of being your manager, I look forward to working with you!”

“………Ha?”

What was this man saying, Noel could not understand at all.

What Noel could understand at this moment was that this man known as Ichizou was speaking to him while smiling, in a refreshing energetic tone that did not match the situation of being in a bar around midnight.

While Noel, still stunned, was unable to swallow the situation, Ichizou grabbed his hand and forcefully shook it.

“Well-, but it’s really amazing! For that Revo-san to actually directly declare that he wanted to be your producer, right?! But I listened to your songs as well, they were really burning! I like them a lot! It’s almost like there’s some powerful force drawing me in, and it felt like my chest was on fire! And to think that you would be able to sing the songs composed by Revo-san or something, I’m truly looking forward to it……!”

Ichizou’s eyes lit up behind his glasses and he stood there, still clinging onto Noel in an excited manner. Noel’s thought process had completely slowed to a complete stop while Marie and Eiji nodded their heads vigorously, agreeing with Ichizou’s words.

“I agree! I do not know of any other songs that can rock my soul as much as Noel-sama’s songs do!”

“Aa, me too! When I heard Noel’s songs for the first time, I was shaken to the core. I even thought that this guy just might change the world.”

“Yes yes, in any case, his voice has so much powerl! It’s like, it feels his singing can give me courage…”

“Yeah!—-Ah! How awfully rude of me!”

Marie who was speaking favorably of Noel’s songs with an ecstatic expression suddenly calmed down and took out a name card with a picture of a rose on top from her purse and handed it to Ichizou.

“I’m Marie*Marie from the visual kei magazine [V-Rock Heaven]”

“Ah, oi, don’t try to get ahead of me, Marie!”

Eiji also started rustling through his pockets and he also handed over a name card which had a flashy lightning design.

“I mainly write articles and post them online. I’m Shibukawa Eiji from [Heavy Edge].”

“Ah, thank you very much. I’m Ichizou Ninosuke from One & One + One.”

The three of them exchanged name cards and they became completely immersed in conversation.

“As expected of Noel-sama, he got a manager assigned to him so quickly.”

“This is a pretty huge affair, huh?”

“Well- I won’t be able to reveal much details right now but it seems like the schedule will be pretty tight…….”

“Hold, hold it for a second, all of you!”

Coming back to his senses at last, Noel shouted at the trio who were chatting in a carefree manner.

“Stop getting excited on your own and leaving the person who’s actually involved out of this! What the hell are all of you talking about?!”

The three of them all stared at Noel and said nonchalantly.

“What….?”

“Like we were saying, Noel….”

“It’s about this.”

Marie pulled out a tablet from her bag and after using it for a short while, she showed Noel a web page. It was the official home page of the major record company BUNNY ONION. And on it was the face of a familiar looking man.

That was, without doubt, the man dressed in black whom Noel met on the roof of that building.

I would like to be your producer.

The man who said that out of the blue, Revo.

The article had a huge headline [Noel’s Major Debut has been decided! Project announced to start with Revo-shi as the producer.]

Noel could see his own shocked expression faintly reflected on the surface of the tablet.

“What is….this……”

Noel’s eyes were glued to Marie’s tablet and the other three did not seem to hear the words that he uttered.

Not waiting for Noel’s reaction, Ichizou said, still smiling like he was before.

“Congratulations on your Major Debut. Let’s work together from now on.”

Major Debut? Me?

Finally the gears in his brain started to turn. However, they did nothing to reduce his confusion. Why did he know nothing about what they were talking about?

Noel faced the three of them and shouted loudly. The other customers in the bar slowly started to notice Noel and the rest.

“This kind of thing, I never heard anything about it at all! Are all of you fucking kidding me?!”

“…….Eh? Kidding? It’s not like that at all…?”

Ichizou stared back at Noel blankly and spoke, seemingly bewildered by the outburst.

“Eh, urmm, from now on, Noel will belong to One & One + One, and your Major Debut will be under BUNNY ONION ……that’s what you were supposed to be informed about……”

It seems like Ichizou also realized that Noel was not lying at all. Still confused, Ichizou started to look uneasy.

“……You really did not hear anything about this?”

“Nothing! I heard not a thing about this at all——!”

Apparently what Ichizou said seemed to be the truth. Would a person who was lying become so pale and clammy in this kind of situation? If he had that kind of ability, he must be an actor befitting of an Oscar.

“And if it’s like that, what about the contract….There should be something like that, right?! I don’t recall signing such a thing at all!”

“Ehh?!”

Ichizou had a completely bewildered expression but he took in a deep breath and straightened his glasses that had become crooked. Then, he stared at Noel straight in the eye.

“You really don’t seem to be aware of anything about this, huh……”

“That’s what I’ve been saying all along!”

Ichizou gave another confused response to Noel who was gritting his teeth.

“I came here thinking that this had already been clearly decided, now I’m also wondering what’s going on……”

Ichizou looked down on the floor, pressing a finger against his temple. With his eyes not focusing on anything in particular, he mumbled to himself and then looked at Noel once more.

“A, anyway, I’ll bring you to the studio tomorrow and you can talk to Revo-san about this. At that time, we’ll tell you about the details……”

“I don’t care! Go back already!”

Revo. This present state of affairs was definitely also that man’s doing.

(As if I will let that man manipulate me….!)

Frustration boiled up in Noel and it looked as though he was going to beat Ichizou up, however, Ichizou only flinched for a short moment. After that, he just smiled apologetically.

“…….I understand. I will go investigate the situation as much as I can, then I’ll contact you again.”

Ichizou said, then he turned away from Noel and exited the bar.

As a sound came from the revolving door, Noel suddenly realized that Ichizou also did not understand the entire situation himself and he felt a bit sorry for his actions. A foggy feeling remained in his chest.

“Noel-sama……”

Marie’s soft voice reached his ears. He turned his head and Marie was staring at him, one hand gripping the other tightly, looking like she was blaming herself.

“I truly apologise for getting excited over this when you have yet to even know of the situation…….”

“It’s alright, it’s not your fault.”

Though what Noel said was a fact, Marie still stared at Noel once before patting her chest in relief. For her to act like that, she must have thought that Noel was angry.

“However, Noel. Isn’t this a great opportunity to make a debut? If that discussion is stopped, it would be a wasted chance wouldn’t it?”

“Hold it, Eiji……!”

Marie hissed to Eiji disapprovingly when he said those words. However, Eiji only shot a glance at Marie and he continued speaking to Noel.

“BUNNY ONION Is a legitimate company. I really want other people to be able to hear your songs. You feel the same way, don’t you, Marie?”

“That….of course I feel that way, but……”

Whether it was Eiji or Marie, when they entered the store, they had the eyes of someone who was looking forward to something but now they were just disappointed. If this goes on, these two were going to distance themselves from Noel. Such a thought flashed through Noel’s mind.

“………Would you be convinced if things progressed in such a convenient manner?”

Eiji blinked in surprise at Noel’s statement.

“So if you can get convinced, you’ll go for a debut?”

“Tch……”

Being told that by Eiji, Noel could only make that kind of immediate reply. It was not as though he did not desire for a debut. But he was not in the right mood for singing and things had not been going well when it came to composing songs. In this kind of situation, should he even be considering a debut?

“……I don’t care. You both shouldn’t have any business with me anymore, right? Go back then.”

Noel turned away from the both of them. He did not have the luxury to deal with anymore people now.

“Um, Noel-sama……”

Marie held onto Noel who was intending to return to his work. When Noel reluctantly looked over his shoulder, Marie was staring intently at him with a serious expression.

“No matter what happens, I will provide my support to you ,Noel-sama, so that you can sing from your heart.”

As Noel’s eyes widened at Marie’s words, Eiji also placed his hand on Noel’s shoulder with a plop.

“Me too, Noel. But well, no matter what, if something happens, be sure to tell me.”

Eiji said his part and left the shop while waving.

“Today, I was imposing on you as well. Pardon my rudeness……I would love to have a delicious cocktail the next time I come over.”

Saying a light-hearted jest, Marie left the shop as well.

The bell at the revolving door rang out. Even though there were other customers in the bar, an unexpected silence remained in his ears.

“………Debut……?”

He muttered that word to himself in a daze.

Debut. Even so, it was going to be produced by that suspicious man.

A place where Noel did not know about was starting to change drastically. What would happen from now on? He did not know why he wanted to think over it, he just could not wrap his head around it.