The moment the door opened, Ichizou’s worried face could be seen.

“Noel…did you sleep properly?”

“……annoying.”

Noel glared while saying that, but his exhausted face was unlikely to be capable of showing any kind of power. Ichizou got angry while showing concern at the same time.

“That’s why I told you to sleep properly!”

“Never mind that, just take me there already, I’m don’t have much time……!”

“O, ok….”

Noel said those threatening words all in one breath and Ichizou could only nod in response to that forceful pressing.

Three days ago, right after parting ways with Ichizou, the handphone in his pocket promptly rang. The phone that was still stuck in its default settings rang out robotically in a loud volume that could be easily heard by people in the vicinity. As one would expect, the phone was opened frantically. Noel already knew who it was. He only told one person his new phone number.

[Sorry Noel! There was something I forgot to tell you! I have to tell you now!]

“What is it?”

[About that….you have an interview….]

Noel’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. At the same time, an awkward silence seemed to hang in the air from Ichizou’s side of the phone.

Inhaling sharply, Noel started yelling at his phone.

“You only just brought me to that Sunglasses to talk about the contract! In addition, I don’t even know whether I will be making that debut! What the hell are you talking about?!”

[Th, that is true……But at that time I thought you already knew about this and the song had already been decided-!]

A pitiful voice rang out from the earpiece of the phone. Noel blew that voice away by protesting loudly. The pedestrians nearby all turned their heads towards Noel but he was oblivious to it.

“I don’t care-! I have to compose a song in three days! Just reject it already!”

[Don’t say that! I’m talking about Yamaguchi-san, he’s someone who I worked together with last time. Yamaguchi-san seems to know about you from quite some time back, and he said that he asked for an interview about the debut because he really wants to meet you!]

“Like I said, the debut is not settled ye—“

[I’ll reject everyone else but could you just meet him?! Please!]

Ichizou was not going to give up. They only met yesterday, so Noel could not fully understand his personality. However, if he rejected the interview now, he might receive an endless barrage of calls. That was what he predicted.

“……I get it. However, it will only be for this Yamaguchi.”

Noel said as such, feeling completely exhausted. He looked towards his phone, able to guess how delighted the other party must look.

[Thank you!]

The moment Noel heard Ichizou’s declaration of gratitude, he could only sigh.

[Then, in three days at two….I’ll meet you at 2pm and bring you there! Bye then, good luck in your composition! I’ll be rooting for you!]

“Ha?! Hey wait, what do you mean in three days—Don’t just hang up on me!”

Noel yelled angrily at Ichizou who had just hung up after saying what he wanted to say, but his voice would never be delivered. He could not tell if the other party was timid or overbearing. No, he was probably the kind who looked weak but had a tough core.

“He’s tough….”

Noel, who was holding onto his phone, mumbled this to himself, then suddenly snapped back to reality.

“….I already said this was not the time for this!”

Cramming his phone back into his pocket, Noel ran.

It was three days ago that such a conversation happened. Just like what had been said, Ichizou rang the intercom to Noel’s apartment a few minutes before two in the afternoon.

Noel, who practically did not sleep to compose a song, took a shower, dressed suitably for the occasion and then got into Ichizou’s car. During the time when they were heading to their destination, Ichizou did not ask a thing about the progress of the song composition. It was likely that he knew the answer from Noel’s face.

— I’ll give you three days. During that time, compose a song that will resound with my heart.

The end of the three days Revo was talking about was today.

Since the start, Noel had completely immersed himself in composing a song, barely eating or sleeping sufficiently. However, he could not say that he had written a song that would surpass Revo’s.

If that was the case, today was supposed to be another day of playing a staring game with his sheet music.

“N, Noel….what’s up, your stare is making me feel kinda uneasy…”

Noel, who was seated in the passenger’s seat, continued to stare at Ichizou, who was seated in the driver’s seat. Ichizou’s face became stiff as he was on the receiving end of the hard stare.

“You’re thinking of something, right?”

“Sor, sorry……But since Yamaguchi-san is an experienced reporter, perhaps you might get some kind of good inspiration, I should think?

“I don’t really need it. I just want to get this over and done with and go back.”

The uncomfortable glare on Ichizou disappeared. Noel stopped staring intensely and moved his gaze to outside the car.

An interview. Unfortunately, it might not only be about the debut but also an investigation into Noel’s personal life.

As though to reflect his dislike towards it, a sharp pain erupted within his stomach. However, the pain only lasted for a split second. The next moment, it vanished as though nothing had happened at all.(……It’s easy, I don’t need to think about anything. I just have to do it like I always do.)

★

The place where Ichizou drove them to was a building belonging to a publishing company. Not long after, they made their way to a room. On top of the wood grain floor was a mildly coloured sofa. The room was also decorated with lush green ornamental plants. It seemed to be a relaxing place for conducting interviews.

Without having to wait for too long, a mature looking man arrived and bowed. For someone of his age, he stood tall with a good posture. He wore glasses that sat in front of a pair of gentle eyes. His hair was turning white but the silver haired appearance suited him very well. This man was probably what others would refer to as a silver fox.
(T/N: Japanese term is Romance Gray. Refers to handsome older gentleman)

“It’s been a while, Yamaguchi-san.”

Ichizou greeted the man who he addressed as Yamaguchi with a smile.

“I’m glad to see that you look well. Are your siblings doing well too?”

“Yes, of course. My older brother is the same as ever, my sister in law and Momoka too, all of them are doing just fine. Miina and Shiina are already in middle school and they’re having fun there. Gonosuke has also grown and is pretty energetic…”

(How many siblings does he have…..?!)

It was a larger family than Noel had expected and he was genuinely surprised. Yamaguchi saw Noel and smiled.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Noel-san. You may call me Yamaguchi. If you may step this way, please.”

“Sure…”

After being led to the sofa which would be their seat, both Noel and Ichizou sat down on it.

After some fragrant, good quality coffee was brought out, Yamaguchi started to talk.

“Let me introduce myself once more, I am Yamaguchi Hajime from the all genre song and music magazine [Sound Around].

With a calm voice, Yamaguchi held out a name card with a pleasant smile and introduced himself.

“It’s a bit early but the purpose of the interview today is to get information about the major debut before the rest. I look forward to working with you.”

Being the first to conduct an interview about the major debut before the debut had even been confirmed.

“Alright…”

Answering vaguely, Noel glanced at Ichizou who was next to him and it was obvious that the latter was anxious.

(Ichizou really didn’t tell this guy anything……tch, well, it can’t be told to any outsiders anyway. I mean, in the first place, he should have just rejected him.)

Throwing a brief stare, Noel seemed to have conveyed what he wanted to say. Ichizou seemed to be sweating more and apologized with his eyes.

“Is something the matter?”

“N, no! It’s nothing! We’re just nervous, that’s all, right, Noel?”

Ichizou answered for Noel in a flustered manner and looked at Noel with nervousness in his eyes.

“No, I’m not really nervous.”

“Ah, I, I see……? Then that’s good.”

Unaffected by the difference in attitude of Noel and Ichizou, Yamaguchi spoke with a gentle smile.

“You don’t need to go into the details but how did you get into music in the first place, Noel-san?”

The tone was gentle, the words were also something quite customary. However, they caused pain to well up from Noel’s splintered heart.

(….Who would want to know that kind of thing?)

How would anyone be interested in this. Those who knew the real Noel would definitely leave him.

(That, that kind of….)

Noel’s gaze became stern and he looked down.

“Noel?”

Ichizou looked over and called out Noel’s name, worried.

“If it’s something that’s difficult for you to talk about, it’s alright, you don’t have to force yourself to answer the question.”

Yamaguchi added on.

It was not just difficult. It was so wretched he could not tell others about it.

However, he could not choose to remain silent. If he did not say anything, they would realise that something must have happened in his past and they would surely feel sorry and sympathise with him.

Therefore, Noel put on a face as though nothing happened.

(It’s simple.)

Noel raised his head and he said with a smile forming on his lips.

“Ah, I’m fine. It happened so long ago, I was just trying to remember it. I don’t really have a good memory for things.”

Ichizou looked at Noel with a surprised look when he said these words while laughing. He knew that Noel had not slept enough and was probably excessively worried.

“In other words, you encountered music when you were very young?”

Yamaguchi smiled as well and spoke, prompting him to continue.

–If the story that is said is pleasant to the ears, most people would accept it and without prodding any further.

“The first instrument that I came in contact with was a piano, I still have faint memories of it….but I stopped taking lessons.”

“And why is that?”

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened in surprise and Noel laughed with an expression as though he got caught being up to mischief.

“I wasn’t the kind of child who could sit still in front of a piano.”

“I see.”

Yamaguchi nodded in a pleasant manner and he wrote quickly on the memo he had on hand with a pen.

“So if that was the case, your path to music was blocked off temporarily. However, if that’s all there is to it, then you would not be where you are right now, correct?”

“It was only the lessons that did not suit me. I could play music anytime and anywhere I wanted.”

“What do you mean by that?”

In response to Yamaguchi who tilted his head, Noel cast his eyes downwards as though he was remembering the past and spoke in a relaxed manner.

“By the time I was old enough to understand the things around me, music had always been by my side, it was natural. That being said, I didn’t pick it up through lessons……My family was poor so my grandmother persistently begged our relatives and I got a broken-down organ……”

Noel showed a smile as though that memory was something delightful.

“I see. It sounds extremely heartwarming. So it was your grandmother’s love that lit your path to music once more.”

“I…wonder about that. It’s not that great actually.”

Noel gave a wry smile and he reached his hand out for the coffee. The warmth and aroma of it gave Noel some relief.

–It’s alright. We can end this conversation without anything going wrong.

“However….”

Yamaguchi looked closely at the memo where he had written down Noel’s words and tilted his head, looking curious.

“For a childhood that was so full of love like you said, the impression I get from your songs is….”

Everything was going well. In that moment when Noel had that thought, those words pieced Noel through the chest.

A childhood that was so full of love.

(What, is that….)

I don’t know. I can’t understand.

Yamaguchi put his coffee down and glanced at Noel. Before Noel could say anything, he shook his head.

“….No. I shouldn’t be blinded by my own bias. Shall we talk a bit more about it?

“Yeah.”

Not breaking his farce of a smile, Noel clicked his tongue in his head.

(How are we going to talk more about this….I can’t tell the truth.)

This reporter called Yamaguchi should already have suspected that everything that Noel said was a lie.

Noel tried extremely hard to suppress this anxiety.

(If so, why does he want to continue? If he realised that I was lying, wouldn’t it be better to just call me out about it?)

If that happened, Noel would get angry. Then this interview session would probably end as well. Even so, Yamaguchi still continued to listen to Noel’s words seriously, nodding and accepting his story.

(Why isn’t he saying anything……?)

Could it be that he did not think that this was just a farce? Did he really think that this was Noel’s true past?

(Why…is he just going along with my story….?)

Noel started to worry over this and gradually, Noel realised that his smile had disappeared and became frantic. However, Yamaguchi’s expression remained unchanged and gently asked the next question.

“Then, shall we talk about the debut song?”

“Tha….”

Without thinking, Noel was at a loss for words. Then he remembered that he had not thought of a song yet.

Yamaguchi tilted his head when he looked at Noel who had been answering the questions so readily till this point. However, he immediately went back to smiling in a calm manner and spoke happily.

“Does this silence mean that you can’t talk about it yet?”

“……Yeah, that’s it.”

Yamaguchi nodded and that concluded the questioning about the debut song.

The interview ended and Noel and Ichizou handed down to the entrance of the publishing company.

“Thank you very much for giving me your time today.”

Yamaguchi, who had come along to see the two off, bowed politely.

“We should be thanking you too! Let’s work together again next time.”

“……Thank you.”

After Ichizou returned the gratitude cheerfully and bowed, Noel lightly lowered his head and returned the thanks too. They were going to leave the place.

I want to get away from this man called Yamaguchi as soon as possible—thinking as such, Noel’s feet stopped by themselves.

“Noel? What’s wrong?”

Noel heard Ichizou calling his name but he turned his head back to look at Yamaguchi. That man was still there, smiling gently just like before. Somehow, from his face, one could tell that he knew that Noel was going to turn back.

“……Hey.”

Completely different from how he was during the interview, Noel threw out his words bluntly. Looking at Noel through his round glasses, it felt as though he was waiting for Noel’s words.

“What I said today……did you believe all of it?”

Stop that, the calm side of Noel was yelling angrily. However, the words were conveyed to Yamaguchi faster than he could think.

“They might all be lies.”

“Noel……?”

Ichizou spoke loudly from the side, feeling confused, however, Noel did not even avert his gaze, he was only waiting for Yamaguchi’s reaction.

Noel did not think this man would get angry. So far, he did not seem to be that shallow. That was why Noel wanted to know his reason for putting up with his farce.

Yamaguchi, who had looked back into Noel’s eyes, cast his eyes downwards as though trying to think back about something. Then he spoke.

“…Were they lies or truths, I do not know.”

You do know, don’t you? Noel resisted the urge to say that and Yamaguchi continued talking calmly.

“Everyone who reads my report and I, only meet you through these words.”

Yamaguchi was only meeting Noel for the first time and the readers did not know enough about Noel to doubt him. The words that Noel spoke today will become their truth – that was what Yamaguchi was saying.

Noel had talked about his real past before. He could not tell the truth so he thought lying would have been better. If so, why did he feel pain within his chest when he came here.

“….I’m not that kind of person, that’s probably what it seems like to you, right?”

Noel blurted out those words, even though he was more afraid of the people who knew the real him.

Yamaguchi took in Noel’s words and quietly replied.

“I can only say that this depends on what you do from now on.”

Yamaguchi neither said anything positive or negative to Noel. He only decided to accept Noel’s words as they were.

Perhaps it was easier for people to tell the lies instead of the truth. Noel said words that he could not take back and the frustration within him that had not disappeared started to pile up.

After looking at Yamaguchi’s face one more time, Noel turned around without saying anything further and prepared to walk away. However,

“Noel-san.”

The gentle voice made him stop and without thinking, he turned around once more.

“May I say one more thing before you leave?”

Yamaguchi smiled kindly, and looking at Noel, he placed a hand over his own chest.

“I am also your fan. Please treat yourself with care.”

“Myself, with….?”

It was small, but it was clearly a nod. Yamaguchi smiled kindly like before and spoke.

“It you feel hurt, then the fans who think about you will feel hurt as well.”

Those words went through Noel’s ears and stained the inside of his chest. As though it was an antiseptic that was applied on a wound, the pain passed quickly.

“Noel, earlier……”

Ichizou, who was seated in the driver’s seat, was saying something, but stopped and then kept silent. Noel, who was not in the front passenger’s seat like before but in the back seat instead, also had not said anything and did not have the energy to reply any questions either. He just continued to stare at his feet.

He felt ill. No matter how much he lied or fabricated stories about himself, he had never felt like this.

Those people who read the article will definitely imagine that Noel, as a child, was a piano lesson skipping, energetic young boy who loved to play outdoors. When he returned home, he would be playing the organ he inherited from his relatives in front of his kind grandmother, a boy who would sing songs happily. They would read about sparkling and bright memories.

(What, is this….)

A self-mocking laugh spilled out.

Talking to himself, he felt nauseated. If he was going to feel this way, it would have been better not to lie. He understood that. Even so, he could not tell the truth. His own circumstances deviated too far from what he had said.

He had never attended any piano lessons before. He never even thought that he could ever attend one.

The relatives whom he inherited an organ from does not even exist. The truth was that it was just a small filthy organ which he picked up on his own accord from a rubbish dump. It was out of tune and the keyboard hardly made any sound. Even so, he continued to play it until it completely broke. Other than that, he had no encounter with music.

Thinking back, it was so miserable to the point of being rotten. He even did things that made put his life in danger for the sake of money. If he did not do those things, he might not have survived till now.

Noel let out a great sigh but the accumulation of frustration within him did not disappear with it.

–Why don’t you turn that frustration of yours into a song?

He recalled Revo saying words of that effect and became needlessly angry. How was he supposed to put this frustration into a song and then let people listen to it?

Unintentionally, he raised his head and looked out, only to see an unfamiliar scenery spread out before him. The car had already passed Noel’s apartment.

Noel placed his hand on the driver’s seat and spoke to Ichizou who was driving silently.

“Hey. You went the wrong way. Didn’t I say I wanted to go home?”

“Uh-huh.”

Ichizou only nodded, still not saying anything, and showed no signs of changing direction as he continued to look straight in front of him. Noel raised his voice, yelling angrily.

“Hey, turn back! I have to……”

Ichizou glanced at Noel’s face through the back mirror. For a short moment, their eyes met. Those eyes showed signs of worry for Noel.

“I do not think that you can come up with a good song in your current state.”

“Tch……! What would you know?! Even so, I have to do it! Singing is all I have left!”

Noel shouted angrily while hitting the back-seat cushion. Ichizou glanced at Noel again, scrutinising him.

“……Isn’t it my fault that you’re making that kind of face now?”

“Haa? What are you talking about?”

“Because I asked you to accept this interview no matter what, you had to answer questions that you did not want to answer, correct….?”

Ichizou was blaming himself for Noel’s condition. In response to Ichizou, who was depressed about his guess that was off the mark, Noel could only sigh.

“It’s true that you asked me to do this interview no matter what, and I had never wasted so much time in my life. But.”

That was not the reason for Noel’s ill mood.

He had never given a second thought about all the lies he had said before but for some reason, today, this was the worst he had ever felt about lying. He never thought he would be so disturbed by it.

Ichizou did not say anything and just waited for Noel to continue.

“If it’s about answering things I don’t want to answer, I won’t do it but this time I answered all of them on my own will. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. So, just turn back already.”

That was followed by a short period of silence. Not even waiting for that to pass, Noel glared at the back of Ichizou’s head.

“Hey!”

“……I can’t do that.”

“Stop messing around already!”

Noel yelled once more and Ichizou silently approached the road shoulder with his car. Noel thought that Ichizou finally decided to turn back or even decided to make him get off here. Ichizou turned his head towards Noel.

He was staring at Noel straight in the face. Three days ago, these were the same pair of eyes that held him back. However, this time, there was no sorrow. Only a strong will peered out from them. Even though Noel was glaring back, this will did not waver at all.

“You only have singing left, correct? In that kind of state, I do not think you can come up with a song the will be better than Revo-san’s.”

“You……!”

Without thinking, Noel reached his hand out and forcefully grabbed Ichizou’s shoulder. However, the gaze that looked at Noel did not change.

“I am your manager. In order to let you do your thing with all your heart and soul, it is my job to make prepare the right environment for that.”

“You are not my manager! Firstly, I do not need anything like that at all!

It was strange for Noel to have a manager when his debut had not been decided on at all.

After hearing Noel’s words, Ichizou’s eyes widened.

“….That’s right. I’m not your manager yet.”

Ichizou’s gaze drifted away from Noel and he mumbled to himself in a daze. It was not known if he was shocked but it had nothing to do with Noel.

Noel clicked his tongue and his hand left Ichizou’s shoulder after pushing him back.

“I had enough. I’m getting off her—“

“The reason why I’m worried about you is not because I’m your manager.”

Ichizou spoke clearly, his voice covering Noel’s words. He then continued talking to Noel who had ignored him and opened the door.

“I said it before, didn’t I? I heard your songs and it was as though something went right through me. It was the first time I felt anything like that. I thought that if it were you, you would definitely not lose to any song and would be able to make something amazing.”

As though he was already sure of what he wanted, Ichizou said to Noel.

“I am only looking forward to listening to your songs.”

Hearing this, the hand that was reaching out for the door handle stopped for some unknown reason.

Through the reflection in the glass of the window, Ichizou’s face could be seen slightly. This was the most direct gaze he had given Noel since they met. It was as though that gaze were threads that tied Noel to this place.

“Therefore, I want to help you! Yeah, that’s the real reason! I want to listen to your songs so I want to work with you. I will do whatever it takes for that to make that happen.”

“What kind of……there’s nothing you……can do.”

The voice Noel used to say that sounded weak and it made him irritated. Why had he not gotten off the car and ran as far away as he could?

–Because it does not seem like I can handle this messed up heart of mine alone.

He pressed down on his head when that thought crossed his mind.

(That’s not right……! I don’t think like that. Even if he’s here, nothing is going to change!)

That was how it had been until now. No matter what was thrown at him, he could overcome them by himself.

Even this time, he should be able to overcome the problem alone.

He wanted to tell himself that, but Ichizou’s words interrupted him.

“I do not know if I can become your strength. But at your current state, I do not think you can make a good song. Therefore, just for a bit, can I have some of your time?”

After Ichizou spoke, Noel sank into silence.

The ticking of the hazard lights sounded extremely loud. Almost as if it was the timer of a time bomb.

Noel sighed. He was already too tired to think.

“Enough……do whatever you want.”

“Uh-huh.”

Ichizou nodded slightly. He was mumbling something softly, but Noel could not really make it out over the sound of the car engine as the vehicle moved forward.

“By the way, Noel, can you drink Shochu?“

“…………hah?”

Noel could only make an idiotic sound when he heard the abrupt question from Ichizou.

★

The bar [ICHIZOU].

Noel was brought to a bar run by Ichizou’s older brother.

Perhaps because the time was still early, Noel was the only customer. Lined up before Noel who was seated at the counter seat was food and alcohol that was clearly too much for a single person.

In the direction of the table was the manager of the shop, Ichizou Ichinosuke, who was facing Noel with a friendly smile plastered on his face. He looked similar to Ichizou however compared to Ichizou who gave off the feeling of a smartly dressed businessman, Ichinosuke looked the part of the manager of a bar, a lively man.

“Alright, Noel! Eat up! Drink up! Thanks for taking care of Ichizou! This is all on the house!”

“Wa, wait, Nii-san! There’s no way Noel can finish all this food by himself!”

The older brother seemed to have a similar meddling personality and Noel, alone, gave an awkward smile. Then he heard two high pitched voices next to him.

“Hey, Noel, do you have a girlfriend?”

“If not, what kind of girl is your type, please tell us-!”

At some unknown time, two middle school girls had sat down next to Noel.

The two girls, who had Noel trapped between them like an image of symmetry, were Ichizou’s twin younger sisters who were much younger than he was. The older daughter of the Ichizou family, Miina and the second daughter, Shiina introduced themselves earlier but Noel, who just met them, could not tell them apart. If this was a situation that involved a slightly older woman, Noel would have chased them away. However these two girls were between the stages of adult and child, so Noel was hesitant about getting angry at them. In that opening when he hesitated, the girls had taken up the seats beside him. They probably could be considered women rather than children. When he thought that, the timing to chase them away was long gone.

“I definitely said to do whatever you want but….”

The first step was glaring at the perpetrator who brought him here, then Ichizou flinched upon receiving that glare. Following that, Ichizou scolded his two sisters.

“Mi, Miina, Shiina! It’s Noel-san, isn’t it! Stay away from him already! I apologise for them causing trouble, Noel!”

“”Ni no Nii, be quiet!””

(T/N: Basically Ni no Nii = Second brother but I thought it’s funnier leaving it in Japanese)

“I’m saying that the two of you are bothering Noel! Go do your homework!”

“”We’ve already done them, bleah!””

Miina and Shiina—It was still unclear who was who—stuck out their tongues in an entirely synchronised manner, then faced Noel once more with smiles on their faces. It was said that sisters tend to have the upper hand but he had never thought it was to this extent.

(Damn….his family was far from what I have expected….)

As expected, because he had not slept well, his sense of judgment must have become dull.

Noel let out a small sigh then tried a mouthful of Shochu that was given to him. Though the weather was getting warmer, it was still cold at night, so Ichinosuke handed him some soup. He did not have much experience drinking Shochu, but the smell of this one was light and sweet, the taste was sweet and it was easy to go down as well.

“Ah, it’s delicious.”

“Ain’t it-?“

The words he murmured did not escape anyone’s ears and Ichinosuke grinned.

“Here, eat the food while it’s still hot. You haven’t had much to eat since yesterday, right?”

“……Thanks.”

(What, am I doing….)

Noel had realised that he got caught by the strong momentum of the Ichizou family and he could only weakly lay his head down on the table. Noel heard the pair next to him being worried.

The moment his gaze was directed downwards, he saw a small shadow running behind him.

(Hm?)

When he turned around, that shadow had hid himself behind Ichizou, who was talking to Ichinosuke.

“Wah, hey, Gonosuke! You scared me!

“……sorry.”

A small apologetic voice could be heard when Ichizou scolded someone in the direction of his feet.

“Noel, this is the youngest member of our family, Gonosuke.”

(Another one….)

“You were thinking that there’s another one, weren’t you?”

Ichinosuke read his mind. Noel’s silence was assumed to be affirmation and Ichinosuke laughed while talking.

“Hahaha! By the way, I also have a lovely wife and lovely daughter-. But my daughter’s sleeping so they’re both at home. There’s also our old grandpa cat by the name of Kuronosuke. That is the Ichizou family!”

Ichinosuke declared this loudly and Miina and Shiina raised their voices unhappily.

“Groan- Ichi-Nii, stop that already-!”

“It’s so embarrassing-!”

“So noisy. I do things my way here!”

Ichinosuke declared those words with his chest puffed out despite his younger sisters’ booing. Giving a sidelong glance to that scene, Noel thought back to yesterday’s incident. Ichizou had only said that he had “a lot of siblings” yesterday. That was the truth.

(Like I thought, his parents aren’t around anymore….)

Even so, it was lively enough just having many siblings. While having that idle thought, he drank his Shochu.

Being surrounded by this noisy group of siblings, Noel became unusually restless.

(What is this….)

Noel knitted his brows in discomfort while Ichizou was patting the head of his younger brother who was still at his feet.

“Gonosuke, hey, what about saying “good evening”?”

Ichizou said to his extremely young brother. Gonosuke finally looked at Noel’s face. His eyes were huge and he did not really look like Ichizou, he resembled the twin sisters more.

“…….Good eve, ning……”

After saying those words in a voice that can be compared to the hum of a mosquito, Gonosuke hid at the corner of the table before Noel could make any reaction. Though it seemed like the boy was wary of Noel, from the hiding place that was visible he intermittently took fleeting glances at him.

A child’s actions were hard to understand. And it would be troublesome if they cried so Noel faced the table again and reached for his Shochu again. However during that time, the piercing gaze still came towards him. Ichinosuke smiled at the scene.

“Sorry bout’ that. That kid’s shy of strangers. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Also, it seems like he got into a bit of a fight with his friends at kindergarten today. That’s why he’s in a bad mood.”

After hearing what Ichinosuke had said, Gonosuke came out of his hiding place. Then he shouted in Ichinosuke’s direction.

“It’s, not my fault!”

It was completely from the voice he used when he was greeting others. He was biting his lips, his cheeks were read and his eyes were brimming with tears. Ichizou stroked his head and looked at Ichinosuke, meanwhile, Miina and Shiina both directed cold gazes at him.

“”A—ah. Ichi-Nii made him cry-“”

“Ehh?! It’s my fault?!”

“….They said that my name was weird.”

The hand that held onto the Shochu stopped when Gonosuke spoke with a trembling voice.

–Your name’s weird. A long time ago, Noel heard these words often.

Turning his gaze towards Gonosuke, he could see that the boy was clutching his own clothes, trying to hold back his tears.

“They said that I’m called Gonosuke because I’m the fifth child….They said such a thing…..that’s why I…..hic.”

Tears rolled out and fell onto the ground from Gonosuke’s large eyes.

Regret. Sadness. He could not endure those feelings anymore.

Noel could remember those feelings even till this day. Because it was not something that just happened once or twice.

His father who gave him that name was not around anymore. Therefore, he did not know where he should vent those feelings to so he thought he could heal those feelings of anger and sadness by beating up the people who made fun of him.

“They have—“

Someone’s voice rang out in the midst of Gonosuke’s bout of crying. He noticed that it was his own voice and following that, his own words came out of his mouth.

“No other way of making themselves look good other than teasing others, you should tell them that they’re being really lame.”

Looking down at Gonosuke, watery large eyes looked up back at Noel. Tears were still falling from his eyes that were wide open but Gonosuke continued looking up at Noel.

Noel saw himself reflected in those eyes and his heart wavered.

(What, am I doing?!)

I’m drunk. I must be drunk. If not, I should not be saying such meddlesome things at all.

Noel gulped down his Shochu like he was trying to escape from the situation. However, he had the feeling the gaze was looking in his direction again. Moreover, the intensity increased.

Though those were the words spouted out under the influence of alcohol, a younger Noel had overlapped with Gonosuke and he said them.

–If it was this kind of family, this name was given to you with a lot of thought in mind.

Although he moved his gaze away from Gonosuke, once that gaze left, the words could not be stopped.

“……It’s a name, that shows that you are part of this family. Do you think that’s lame?”

Gonosuke shook his head, his hair making rustling sounds as they moved, when he heard Noel’s words.

“U-un. It’s not lame at all.”

Noel felt a tug at the hem of his clothing and saw that Gonosuke at his feet. With his eyes shining, Gonosuke stared at Noel.

“Tomorrow, I, will definitely tell them it’s not lame! It’s a cool name!”

“Oh, sure…”

When Noel replied, Gonosuke’s face lit up suddenly and nodded repeatedly. Noel would like the hem of his clothes to be released but it does not seem like that was going to happen.

“……Thank you, Noel.”

Noel swallowed his Shochu while wondering how he should get Gonosuke to let go and Ichinozuke said those words quietly while smiling. It was a tone that was a bit unlike his bright and cheerful self.

Noel had not intended to say any courteous words in return. Rather, he seemed to be embarrassed and regretful of what he said.

“……I only thought that no matter what the generation was, there’s always brats who said things like that.”

“Noel, were you also told words like that?”

Still holding onto Noel’s clothes, Gonosuke tilted his head.

Hearing Gonosuke’s words, Ichizou chided him in a frantic manner.

“Gonosuke, it’s Noel-san. He’s an older brother.”

“Well….it’s alright, I don’t mind.”

After that reply to Ichizou, Ichizou also, like Ichinosuke, looked at Gonosuke, smiling.

Gonosuke stared upwards at Noel intensely. Noel could not resist the eyes that were white like pottery and had clear black pupils and spoke.

“……Noel, means Christmas in French.”

If he told a bit of the truth which he did not say during the interview to this pair of eyes, maybe the fogginess within his heart would clear up a bit – he was expecting something like that.

Once he heard the word Christmas, Gonosuke’s face broke into a wide smile.

“I, like Christmas! Noel is a nice name-!”

The corner of Noel’s lips turned upwards a bit upon hearing these pure words.

“The nickname I got stuck with was Christmas-man.”

Everyone else other than Gonosuke showed their sympathy with silence upon hearing Noel’s words.

And he chased those brats who made fun of his name no matter where they ran and beat them till he drew blood—Noel did not go into that much detail and only let out a forced smile.

“Now that I think about this, the asses who thought of such a nickname are so lame. What fucking sense.”

“Fucking sense!”

“No, Noel……Don’t teach a five year old such weird words……”

Ichizou was frantic as Gonosuke shouted.

Gonosuke repeating Noel’s words with sparkling eyes was amusing and even Noel laughed. Due to him being hungry, the alcohol probably made him tipsy more quickly.

Noel continued to talk to Gonosuke.

“And to those who did so, those who made fun of my name and being an orphan and so on, I tried to get back at all of them.”

“Oh, did you really-, Noel. You were quite the rascal despite your appearance.”

“”So cool……!””

Ichinosuke laughed brightly, Miina and Shiina both placed their hands on their blushing cheeks at the same time. In any case, Ichinosuke could not understand the reaction of the twins.

Noel’s sleeve got pulled on again and after he finished all his Shochu, he looked down towards Gonosuke. His pure honest eyes stared at Noel.

“Noel also, doesn’t have a father or mother?”

“Gonosuke……!”

Ichizou chided Gonosuke who was looking at Noel with his head tilted. Gonosuke looked puzzled when Ichizou called him, after which, Noel replied.

“Aah, yeah.”

He could not even remember them. If he had to talk about what he knew about his parents–

Gonosuke heard Noel’s answer and his eyebrows slanted downwards.

“Are you lonely?”

A child who had no parents. That was just like him in the past. No, Gonosuke was showered with love in a large family.

If one wanted to talk about a life filled with an abundance of love, it was likely to be something that one would get if one was raised in such a family. At this moment, he did not think it was something to be envious about but—

Noel lightly placed his hand on top of Gonosuke’s small head.

“I’m not lonely, I’m not a child anymore.”

Noel said with smile and Gonosuke stared back at that face. His eyes widened, looking in Noel’s direction as though to ask “Really?”. He wanted to reply with a “really.” However, it was not as though the question really came out of the child’s mouth. The one word “really” rang out within his empty chest and disappeared.

Noel stood up and immediately, Gonosuke’s hands which had clutched to his waist released their grip.

“……I think it might be due to drinking alcohol on an empty stomach, I think I got a bit drunk. I need some air.”

“Ah, right. Are you alright?”

“Aa, I just feel warm.”

Gonosuke gave a disappointed face and wanted to go along. Miina and Shiina wanted to follow as well because they were concerned too, but they were held back by Ichizou and Noel left the shop.

Until now, he never thought of being envious about having such a boisterous home.

However—he felt sick to the stomach.

★

Noel stepped into a back alley that was next to the shop. Not caring if the wall was dirty, he leaned his back against it.

Saying that he was drunk was not an excuse at all. His head felt cloudy, he could hear his pulse beating within him as though his whole body became his heart. He felt hot so he loosened his shirt’s buttons.

Absentmindedly loosening his shirt, Noel suddenly felt some warmth at his ankles. There was a black mass snuggling up to his leg. He was surprised for a moment however that black mass looked up at Noel and meowed out a clumsy “Bumeow”. The bell on its collar jingled.

“A cat….”

It was an extremely large black cat. The cat should feel cold in this spring night breeze, but it did not seem to want to leave Noel’s feet. On the contrary, it sat onto his feet. Heavy. Even its paws felt like they carried weight.

“Hey. You’re heavy.”

Noel protested, however the cat showed no signs of moving. Light shone in from the main street and a shadow appeared and then Ichizou poked his head into the alleyway. Ichizou looked at Noel, then his gaze moved downward to his feet and he noticed the cat.

“Ah, Kuronosuke, you came back.”

“That’s your cat?”

Speaking of which, it seemed like earlier, Ichinosuke had spoken about having a cat with that name.

Once Ichizou called out the name “Kuronosuke”, the black cat moved away from Noel’s feet and snuggled up to him. Ichizou crouched on the ground and stroked the cat’s neck and it purred with a “Gorogoro” as though it was in a good mood.

“You’re an old grandpa so you should rest soon. Kuronosuke, quickly return home or you’ll catch a cold.”

After Ichizou said that, the black cat, Kuronosuke, calmly turned around and leisurely ran off in the direction of the alley.

With just the two of them left, a feeling of awkwardness hung in the air. Ichizou handed Noel a bottle of water.

“Urm……Noel, are you alright?”

“Yeah.”

Noel took the bottle of water, but he did not feel like drinking it so he just held it in his hands. He also seemed to know that Ichizou was not drunk so far.

“I thought you might want to be alone but no matter what, I wanted to thank you.”

Noel frowned and tilted his head as he had no idea what Ichizou meant.

Ichizou scratched his head and then smiled kindly.

“Thank you for what you said to Gonosuke there.”

“I don’t remember saying anything that deserves any thanks.”

“No….you did.”

Ichizou thought through his words carefully to convey his feelings about his family to Noel.

For a short while, they fell into silence.

Ichizou then raised his head suddenly and looked at Noel with a cheerful expression.

“Un. It’s just that. Feel free to tell me if you’re not feeling well. My younger siblings have already gone home.”

Ichizou lifted his foot as though he was about to turn away and say, see you later. Noel glanced at him and opened his mouth.

“What was it that you wanted to tell me?”

Ichizou stared intently at Noel once as though to make sure it was him who did say that. He then gave a small nod.

Noel was drunk. Therefore, he probably wanted to hear about other people’s family circumstances despite usually not caring about such things.

Ichizou, who was about to walk away, returned to where he was and looked straight at Noel’s face.

“My mother….ah, I mean my older brother’s and my mother passed away twenty years ago. Miina, Shina and Gonosuke are my half siblings.”

Noel was not particularly surprised as he figured that out from the large age difference between the siblings.

“Four years ago, my father and stepmother……died in an accident. It was just for one day, the two of them decided to take a trip far away but we couldn’t contact them at all till late night, even till morning the following day……three days later, their car was found below a cliff….”

That seemed to be the reason why Ichizou was so desperate to want to keep in touch with Noel. That amount of hurt that he must have felt during those three days probably gave rise to such an over-the-top behavior.

Ichizou hung his head as he said this then he looked up in Noel’s direction and showed a troubled smile.

“I’m sorry about the cell phone. It seems like I also pushed my troubles onto you……”

“I’m not bothered by it in the end. It doesn’t really have anything to do with you. Also, you’re the only one between me and that Sunglasses.”

Noel snapped his fingers and Ichizou stared at his fingers, blinking. After blurting out his worries, he nodded.

“Ye…yeah, that’s true……thank you.”

(So why are you over there expressing words of gratitude, this guy……)

Noel said it voicelessly and lightly glared at Ichizou. However, as Ichizou’s line of sight was already on the ground, Noel stopped glaring.

“When my parents died, Gonosuke wasn’t even a year old yet so he couldn’t remember their faces or anything about them. Now he sees my brother and sister-in-law as his parents.”

A child who could not even remember his parents’ faces. Noel probably felt a bit familiar with Gonosuke because they were both similar in that aspect.

“Gonosuke gets teased by others about our parents so he became extremely uneasy. So when his name got mocked, he couldn’t complain or cry to the parents who gave him that name. They probably intended to keep the same pattern as our names……For children of that age, they still see parents as the most important……”

Ichizou lamented the fact that it was impossible for his older brother to be a substitute for their dead parents, then smiled while his brows were tilted downwards.

“However, when you said that his name showed that he was part of the family, I think Gonosuke was truly happy. I was happy too.”

Those were just some nice words he came up with without thinking to lessen his feelings of guilt. Ichizou’s smiling face stabbed his chest once more with slight feelings of guilt.

“……I just said those things without thinking.”

“That’s alright. They were words that Gonosuke really needed. Thank you.”

After Ichizou said that, Noel unintentionally recalled Yamaguchi’s words.

— Were they lies or truths, I do not know. Everyone who reads my report and I, only meet you through these words。

Those words were not only nice words for Gonosuke who barely knew Noel, he thought they were meant for himself too. After that, Noel also said that “He had no parents”. And those words probably made Gonosuke think that there was someone who understood his own loneliness. –Noel, when he was a child, had those thoughts too.

–Are you lonely?

What Gonosuke said pierced the child version of himself that still continued to reside within his heart. He wanted to quickly forget those feelings but far from forgetting, it became one of the things that kept accumulating within him.

It was not true that those feelings would vanish just because he was no longer a child.

Noel felt the weight of those of emotions accumulating within his chest and he hunched over.

“Noel? What’s wrong, do you feel ill?”

Ichizou appeared in front of his eyes, looking flustered.

“Yeah, I feel sick. Awfully sick.”

“Eh……?”

Ichizou seemed to be a bit bewildered as Noel spoke so clearly.

Noel’s body felt so heavy that it was almost as though he could not stand and he had to keep leaning against the wall since he left the store. However, the reason was not just him noticing the dark feelings within himself. That warm and lively atmosphere was suffocating.

“This is not where I belong.”

What suited him was further down the alley. Dark and dirty, he always ended up in a place filled with rot. He longed for the place which was cold, painful, filled with the stench of blood where he could be by himself and hear nothing but the ringing in his ears.

But right now, where he was, he could hear Ichizou’s voice near him even though it was lively some distance away.

“I don’t have…such memories like you have with your family. Therefore……I can’t stay here.”

He thought that he was the only one painted pitch black in that bright shop. Someone within Noel was screaming ‘you’re not needed’.

(Ah, that’s right……I’ve experienced this before.)

He had experienced such things numerous times at his relatives’ house, how could he have forgotten?

The feeling that a young Noel had as he faced the wall of the room where joyful sounds of laughter was coming from while he hugged his knees alone.

That was the feeling he had now.

“I feel horrible……if I stay here, I feel like my weakness is going to show up.”

He unintentionally blurted out the words “I have no parents.” He had intended to continue hiding the fact that he lied during the interview but it had all come to naught. And he knew the best that this was not completely the fault of the alcohol he drunk.

The Ichizou family had warmly welcomed Noel into their home. They had only met once but they treated him with hospitability, with smiles on their faces, clung to him like they were enjoying themselves and trusted him.

(Isn’t that ridiculous for a first meeting?)

He was betrayed so many times to the point that it was could not be helped that he felt like an idiot if he tried to form any kind of bond with others.

When he was here, his weakness was dug out from within him. He had the illusion that it was fine to do just that and they will accept him. That kind of atmosphere and that kind of people were terrifying.

Ichizou kept quiet for a while as he faced Noel who had hunched over weakly. He felt strongly hesitant about what he wanted to say something in return.

“Bu, but, that wasn’t what you said during the intervi—“

“You should have figured it out already. They were all lies.”

Noel spat out that line, interrupting Ichizou’s confused words.

“You probably can’t even imagine it……that there’s actually bastards who can’t survive without lying.”

Noel sounded like he was blaming someone. Ichizou did not get that feeling but he still kept silent. Noel wondered if Ichizou was also going to leave him as well. However, if he was that kind of man, he would not have been here, and Noel knew that.

Right now, Ichizou was still standing next to Noel.

“……that must be tiring.”

Ichizou said those few words.

“What’s with that?”

Noel could only smile at Ichizou’s single opinion of the situation.

“Hmmm, I don’t seem to be good at lying, so I’m wondering why you think so much about it. No, if it’s about not being able to survive if you don’t do such a thing……I can’t really say it’s not tough at all……”

It was not Ichizou’s usual chirpy voice. Rather than saying that he sounded depressed, he sounded more like he was thinking hard to try and understand what Noel’s words meant.

“I won’t tell you to understand. It’s alright if you don’t get it.”

That family is perfect for you. It would be great if Noel could say that, but he did not have the heart to let those words escape from his mouth. He did not want to admit it but it was not as though he did not feel jealous even now.

Ichuzou did not know how he was supposed do with Noel’s words. He kept his head lowered so it was not possible to know what kind of expression he was making.

“However, Noel.”

Ichizou called out Noel’s name and a bit of cheerfulness had returned to his voice.

“It’s alright if you lied here or if you have already lied.”

“Ha……?”

Those were words that acknowledged a person like him who could only lie.

Without thinking, Noel raised his head as he heard the words that were out of his expectations. That heavy mass that had weighed on Noel until now seemed to have fallen off because of Ichizou’s words.

A reassuring smile formed on Ichizou’s face when he saw Noel raising his head.

“If you think you said anything unpleasant, then it’s alright to pretend that you’re drunk and blame it all on alcohol. That’s the kind of place this is. Feel—“

After Ichizou kept quiet for a moment, hesitating, he said with a clearly smiling face.

“Feel free to consider this place somewhere where you can feel at home.”

Home.

After looking at Ichizou’s face after he said that, Noel lowered his head again. This time, it was not because his body felt heavy, he was trying to avoid Ichizou’s eyes on his own accord.

(……This guy is really an idiot.)

Even though he had said he was not feeling well, he was still astonished that Ichizou said such a thing. More than that, he was more astonished at himself for not getting angry upon hearing that. Did he want to feel at home at the place Ichizou was talking about? That kind of uncomfortable place.

(I don’t get this guy but I don’t understand myself anymore either.)

The situation was becoming awkward as Noel did not say anything and Ichizou was getting anxious. Finally he could not withstand the silence anymore and he raised his voice with a nervous look.

“Lo, look! Noel, if I left you alone, you won’t eat properly and I’m just worried & worried about your condition! Umm……so……”

Perhaps Ichizou had ran out of words to say and his voice gradually trailed off. Then he suddenly looked at Noel.

“U—mm, Noel? Are you listening?”

Hearing a voice coming from nearby, Noel raised his head.

“……My bad. What is it? I was half asleep.”

That was partially true. He only heard Ichizou’s anxious voice but he could not really understand what was it that was said. Ichizou’s shoulders slumped and he smiled awkwardly at the anti-climatic response.

“Ah, I see……Are you really okay?”

“I’m fine. I’ll return in a short while after this drunkenness cools off a bit, you can go back first.”

After Noel said that, Ichizou nodded and turned around. However he turned his head when he was about to leave the alley. He did not forget to remind Noel to “Come back before you catch a cold.”

When Ichizou could not be seen, Noel squatted down on the spot. He buried his face in his hands which were on his knees. Once he did that, he could not summon any energy to stand up. He did not even have the energy to open his eyes…….It was most likely the fault of the alcohol.

After being in that position for a short while, he continued to look into the darkness of his closed eyes then he heard a single person’s footsteps mixed into the hustle and bustle from far away. They were footsteps that were quieter and more relaxed compared to Ichizou’s.

As though those footsteps were from a ninja drawing nearer, they stopped immediately once they were near Noel.

After a few seconds of silence, there was the sound of a long inhalation.

“WAA!”

A loud voice suddenly burst out in the alleyway.

Noel had his head down all the while but he still raised his head reluctantly as he knew who was there. However, he shot a gaze of animosity.

“……What do you want, Sunglasses.”

Looking upwards, there was a man dressed in clothes darker than the night sky looking back down at Noel.

“Ah, you’re alive. If you’re alive, you should be screaming more of waa-! Or gya-! Or help me-!”

“Who the hell would be screaming.”

Noel could see the words “Boring” written all over the Sunglasses. Noel glared at those words thinking if the other party found this funny.

Right now, the person whom Noel did not want to meet the most threw out what could be called forbidden words without hesitation.

“How goes the song composition? Came up with anything?”

Revo spoke those words in a light tone as though he was chatting casually and after Noel glared at him more sternly than necessary, Noel averted his gaze.

“……Did you hear anything about it?”

“No, I just don’t know when and what kind of good song would be born.”

Noel had nothing to respond to Revo who was just messing around with him. He did not have the energy to respond.

“Areh? Are you feeling unwell? What’s wrong, NoeNoe?”

“Shut up……I don’t know.”

Once more, something heavy clung onto Noel. His head was heavy and he hunched over again.

“I don’t understand anything at all……tch”

Upon saying that, the things packed within his heart spilled out at one go. Words became a torrential river and came out of his mouth.

“Why. Why are you all so concerned about me. I was hurt, made use of……Isn’t that the kind of life I had? Why are there people waiting for my songs? Why are they supporting me?”

They were supposed to be people he did not need. Perhaps he continued singing to this point because he wanted to connect with someone. Perhaps this was the time when he could grab onto that connection. Nevertheless, Noel’s body did not move away from this street.

“It would have been better if they were bastards who would only hurt me……”

He could just cut himself away from people who were jealous of him or hurt him. He knew how to do it, whether it was with words or brute force.

However, now there were people who wanted to listen to Noel’s music. There were people who supported him.

He did not know if he could respond to such expectations. The current him did not know anything but getting hurt.

If he disappointed them, the end result would be others leaving him, wouldn’t it. With just that rule of thumb, he could not judge the people who came close to him. Thinking about this the other way, he also wanted to do something as ridiculous as believing in them.

“……What should I do, I don’t know anymore.”

He was losing focus, if felt as though things were getting cluttered in his head, something got punctured and he clutched his head, pressing against it. He would rather had been able to crush his own head with his hand.

Even though Noel did not say anything more, Revo kept his silence. Noel was not waiting for a reply from him anyway.

Right now, Noel was not in the mood for that.

Noel, who could only stare at the ground, heard the small sound of clothes rustling. As though that sound called for his attention, Noel slowly raised his head.

The first thing that entered his vision was a single book. It was the same book which was passed into his hands on the night when he first met Revo.

The one who held out the book was the mysterious man whose eyes could not be seen due to his jet-black sunglasses. There was nothing to hint at his true intentions. Looking up at the man whose true character was unknown, Noel could only feel one thing.

— You probably need this.

Noel reached his hand out and grabbed onto the book before doubt could rise up within him. He was clinging onto it.

He took the book from the other party’s hands and turned the book’s cover softly.

[Nighthawk Star] Miyazawa Kenji

A gust of wind blew and the pages turned over like a door opening.

Only a bit of light entered from the road, however the composition that was written there was seared into Noel’s eyes.

The nighthawk was truly an ugly bird. His face was covered in splotches as if he had been splattered with miso and his beak was flat which was split from ear to ear. His legs were so unsteady that he could not walk at all. The other birds were uncomfortable just from merely setting eyes upon the nighthawk’s face. 

For example, the skylark was not considered an attractive bird either but he always thought himself to be better than the nighthawk. Upon seeing the nighthawk in the evening, they would naturally close their eyes and turn their heads in another direction in disgust. The smaller, more talkative birds would speak of him with contempt right before the nighthawk.

“Hmph, he showed up again. Well, would you just look at that? What a disgrace among us birds.”

“Look, see how large that mouth of his is. He is surely some kind of frog.”

 When Noel read to this point, all the countless words that were showered upon him till now were revived within Noel’s head and went on a rampage.

–He’s a disgrace!

–A child with that hair colour……he must be a bastard child.

–We don’t play with foreigners! Go over there!

–They’re calling you an abandoned child because you really are one!

Just when he thought his heart had contracted tightly, it jumped in great bounds. Blood went around his body and sweat started pouring.

“This is almost like……”

Noel’s hands were shaking. Even so, his eyes traced the words and his hands could not stop turning the pages.

The hawk who could not accept that the nighthawk’s name was nighthawk threatened “If you do not change your name by the morning of the day after tomorrow, I will crush you to death with my claws.”

The nighthawk thought about why the others would hate him so much when he had not done anything awful. Just from merely being born was enough to get him laughed at and abused.

Since the hawk was going to kill him, the nighthawk decided to fly somewhere far away into the sky so he bid farewell to his brothers, the kingfisher and the hummingbird.

The morning came, that was the “morning of the day after tomorrow” that the hawk spoke of.

Even though the nighthawk flew eastward, towards the direction of the rising Lord Sun and said “Please take me to where you are”, he could not get closer to Lord Sun. Lord Sun pitied the nighthawk and said “Next time, fly into the sky and ask the stars to take you along”. The nighthawk decided to do just that.

However, the nighthawk was exhausted from chasing the sun and fell towards the earth. He then lost consciousness and while drifting between dreams and reality, he saw himself being tossed around by the wind and being trapped within the hawk’s talons.

When he came to, he was flying in a starlit sky.

He called out as he flew towards Orion who was shining in the western sky.

“Oh Star, Blue-white star of the West. Please take me to where you are. I don’t care if I burn and die.” 

However, Orion paid no heed to the nighthawk. The nighthawk burst into tears and fell towards the ground but he flew up once more. This time, he called out to Sirius who was in the south.

“Oh Star, Blue star of the South. Please take me to where you are. I don’t care if I burn and die.”

However, just like before, Sirius also turned away, saying that the nighthawk was doing something foolish. Even though the nighthawk begged Ursa Major, called out to Aquila, everyone did not pay attention to him and gave him the cold shoulder.

He had begged the sun, he had even begged the stars, but no one felt that the nighthawk was worth their attention. Having nowhere to go, the nighthawk finally fell to the earth.

However, just before he hit the ground, the nighthawk suddenly flew straight up to the sky. Then while calling out in a voice loud enough to awaken all the other sleeping birds, he rose higher into the sky.

His breaths became a white frost and the air became thinner but the stars will still far away. The cold sapped away the nighthawk’s strength.

Then with tears in his eyes, the nighthawk looked up towards the sky one more time—that would be his end.

He no longer knew if he was falling or rising. The nighthawk felt peace in his heart even though his beak was bloodied and crooked.

After a while, the nighthawk opened his eyes wide. Then he saw that his own body was burning quietly, glowing in a beautiful blue light, like a phosphorus flame.

Just next to him was Cassiopeia. From right behind him was the Blue-white light of the Milky Way.

And the Nighthawk Star continued to burn on. It burned on forever and ever. It continues to burn, even now.

From behind Noel’s closed eyes, there was a brilliant bright light within the darkness.

A strong gust of wind shook the pages and a sound was made. That sound caused Noel to open his closed eyes. Then he realised that he was still in the middle of an alleyway. Before his eyes stood Revo. Gradually, the noise from the street some distance away returned to his ears.

His eyes fell on the book’s pages but somehow his vision was blurred and the words could not be seen.

Drip, he heard that small sound coming from the book.

Instead of his vision becoming clear at once, there were round marks appearing on the turned pages. Again, drip, that sound was made and a drop of water had fallen on the words. As though they wanted Noel to notice their existence, the words’ rich colours began to smudge.

“The nighthawk……”

He mumbled the letters that were getting wet from water drops. Noel traced those letter with his finger. The bird called the nighthawk was there, and he softly caressed its body, sympathising with it.

“The nighthawk……is me.”

Noel understood why the man in front of him came over to pass him that book.

Opening the pages, Noel spoke as his fingers went across the words.

“I was also……abused for a long while.”

There was no response from Revo. It was almost as though he was merely a shadow in this dark alleyway. Even so, one could tell that he was listening closely to Noel’s words.

“I don’t know my father. He died before I was born. My mother disappeared after she left me with my grandmother. I don’t even know if she’s alive or dead.”

Was he talking to Revo who was in front of him or was he speaking to the nighthawk from within the book? Was it both of them? Perhaps it was a monologue and Noel was just talking to himself. Even Noel did not know who he was spinning out these words for.

However, all those words that he had kept dammed up within himself have flowed out on their own.

“……My grandmother was my only kin and I remember that she gave me so much love. But……she only lied to me.”

The very first reason that caused him to lose his trust in people was probably because of that lie.