Two boys are hogging the swings for quite a while. The two of them have large frames. They are probably elementary schoolers.

The girls are playing at the pull up bars. There was one girl who was able to flip herself upside down skilfully, repeating the action over and over and when the other children tried to imitate her, they failed.

There was only a single tree in this Hikari Park. Every time he leaned against that tree, I think, isn’t he lonely? That tree had always been by itself. Perhaps, there was only one tree growing here in the first place? Or there were other trees but the rest were all chopped down? And this tree was the only one left? If that were the case then someone cut down all the other trees.  That’s cruel.

He thinks, it it were up to me. Rather than leaving one tree by itself, it would definitely be better to cut it down with the rest.

He straddled one of the spring riders and snuck a look at the slides. Hikari park had two spring rides. A red whale and a blue squirrel. Both were scratched and banged up. The most popular playground equipment was the swings, the second was the slide, the third was the pull up bars, the fourth was the  red  whale while the one that took the lowest position was the blue squirrel. He had already rode on the red whale for a long time.

All the boys at the slide were people that he knew. Rikuya was tall. Tacchin was stocky and had tanned skin. Shou-kun was petite and had short hair. Kou-chan always wore outfits that stood out and laughed a lot with a loud voice.

He steeled his determination, got off the red whale and got closer to the slide. The stairs were empty but when he tried to go up, Kou-chan’s head poked out from the top of the slide’s platform.

“What are you doing?”

Kou-chan was making a scary face. Without answering, he lowered his head.

“I wanna climb down now so get out of my way. It’s dangerous if you stay there, right?”

Kou-chan started to climb down the stairs. He could have just slid down so why did he have to go out of the way to climb down the stairs. But if he stayed out, he’ll get hit. He backed up. After Kou-chan descended the stairs, he tried to climb up but Kou-chan pushed Tacchin to climb instead.

“Don’t jump the queue. We have stay in order.”

“But it was my turn….”

“It’s not your turn or whatever.”

Shou-kun said from the platform of the slide.

“This is our place. You can go somewhere else.”

“Give up already.”

Kou-chan laughed as he threw a rock in a direction to somewhere a distance away.

“Even if we say all that, this guy won’t understand.”

“I understand you.”

He looked down and mumbled—I understand clearly.

Rikuya scampered up the staircase . Shou-kun and Tacchin slid down one after another.

He raised his head. After he walked closer to the stairs, Kou-chan quickly cut in before him. And after Kou-chan was Shou-kun then after that Tacchin. Rikuya slid down and climbed up the stairs again.

“Why are you doing such a thing?”

No one lent their ears to his monologue. Kou-chan and Shou-kun and Tacchin were playing at the exit of the staircase. Rikuya who was in the middle of climbing up protested but he seemed to be having a lot of fun.

“It was my turn.”

No matter what he said, the other four could not hear.

“I want to play together with you guys.”

If he spoke in a louder voice, perhaps what he wanted to say would reach them more clearly? If he did that, would everyone listen to him?

“Together…”

His chest hurt and his throat tightened. It became painful to breathe.

The elementary schoolers at the swings, the girls at the pull up bars and those four at the slides, they all did not even glance at him. He was here, yet it seemed like he was not.

He turned on his heel. His legs were heavy. His head was also heavy. His body was unbearably heavy. Even getting on the red whale was tiring. Even so, he still managed to make the red whale recoil and sway so just for a bit, he felt it was fun. Even if it was only a bit, it caused a big change in him.

While shaking the red whale, he sung softly. Even if he only heard a song once or twice, he managed to remember most of the song. Therefore, there were many songs inside his head. Even if he did not try to think about the songs intentionally, the songs spilled out of his mouth one after another.

“What are you singing?”

When he noticed his surroundings, Kou-chan had already came up right next to him.

Kou-chan with Rikuya in tow, stared at him with a cold gaze like they were disgusted. He shook. Being embarrassed, sweat poured out of his body.

“Is that Japanese? It’s not, right? What is it? An English song? Ah, because you’re a foreigner? You’re so noisy. It’s a nuisance to the people around, so just stop it already. Also, I want to ride the red whale so move it.”

He alighted from the red whale and Kou-chan got onto the blue squirrel. The red whale was sat on by Rikuya and, uwah, the seat is warm, that’s gross, he shouted. Kou-chan swayed the blue squirrel about violently while laughing loudly.

“Look what I’m doing to the squirrel.”

“You’re mean, Kou-chan.”

“It’s not mean. You know that much.”

It was unusual to see Kou-chan and Rikuya playing on the spring riders. Shou-kun and Tacchin were at the slides. The swings and the pull up bars were also not unoccupied.

He walked towards the only tree that was in Hikari park. He leaned his back against the tree, wanting to sink into the ground.

“Should I just go home?”

He said in a voice that did not reach anyone.

“There’s no one at home though.”

With just a sigh, it felt like something important was going to fall out from his body. If that sigh was visible to eye, he would stop it before it fell to the ground and return it into his mouth. If he did not do that, he was going to disappear someday.

He crouched on the ground and hugged his knees. The voices of Kou-chan, Rikuya, Shou-kun, Tacchin, the girls and the elementary schoolers did not leave his ears.

Before he knew it, he sung. The songs did not stop. As moments ticked by, the tree’s shadow grew larger and enveloped him completely. The sky slowly grew dark. The children disappeared from the children’s playground one by one. The streetlights were on. Even when it was close to dusk, he sang without a care.

As he continued to sing, it was not just the singing voice that came from himself, the steps of people rushing back home, the sound of car engines and so on harmonised within him and the music performance begun. While being drowned in the sounds, he could forget about his anxiety. He could think that even the tree that was behind was singing with him.

Then came a different sound of footsteps. It was snappy and fearful. He stopped singing. When he frantically stood up, a skinny woman with her hair pulled back into a bun was about to step into the park.

“Obaa-chan.”

“You’re here again, Noel? Let’s go back. Alright, come here.”

His grandmother roughly waved him over with her hands. He did not even hesitate for a moment. He rushed over and then his grandmother turned to her right and walked quickly. His grandmother did not even wait for him to catch up with her. He hurriedly caught up with his grandmother. It was always difficult to get close to his grandmother’s bony shoulders and skinny frame. His grandmother hung her handbag on her left elbow. That left arm of hers which was bent at an acute angle hardly moved at all.

“Sorry.”

“What did you do wrong? Did you steal something?”

His grandmother had a habit of laughing whenever he said something. However, most likely it was not because it was funny or laughable.

“I wasn’t the one who did anything wrong though.”

“Then, why are you apologising?”

“Sorry.”

“How many times do I have to repeat myself before you get it? Silly child.”

He shut his mouth and walked behind his grandmother. His grandmother was always in a bad mood. By any chance, was it because of him? When he thought of it that way, he wanted to just crouch down on the ground. If he stopped walking, his grandmother would probably get even more angry. She would probably tell him off coldly.

He narrowed his eyes and looked ahead. It was dazzling. A car’s headlights that is. A car was driving down from somewhere. His grandmother and him walked on a narrow road that was not paved. The car drove towards them suddenly without slowing down. His grandmother grabbed his arm and pulled him in the direction of the roadside. The car left and his grandmother released his arm. It’s tiring, she muttered softly.

He apologised, sorry, within his heart.

If he said it out, his grandmother would get even more irritated.