Content Warning: This story contains mature subjects that may be disturbing to some readers

He woke up before the rooster crowed. He did it every morning. It probably had been ingrained into this body.

Jill got out of his bed naked and after hurriedly making a sign of a cross, he wore his clothes. The hole on the knee area of his pants was getting much bigger. Perhaps he should patch it up soon? It should be fine for now. As he sat on his bunk and put on his boots, the chickens wriggled their way around. Jill’s room was both the livestock shed and the warehouse. If one looked, they would see that the window fittings were damaged. He had to fix it before the weather turned cold. Otherwise, he would end up freezing to death together with the livestock. He stepped out when the sky was still dimly lit and scooped water from a pot, washing his hands and face. After he rinsed his mouth and did some stretches, the door of the main house opened. The black-haired girl who came out from there was still bleary eyed.

“Good morning, Jill.”

“Claris—good morning.”

Jill tried to crack a smile but he could not do it. No matter how many times he tried his best, he was unable to smile a nice smile in front of Claris.

Of course, it was not because Jill planned to pick a fight with her, but he became embarrassed now and then. If he said that out, Claris would likely be flabbergasted. He would probably be chided for that. However, in front of her, he felt that he was worthless and nothing more than a weed that was in the way.

Claris scooped water from the pot with a ladle and cleansed her hands and then her face. Her black hair got a little bit drenched.

“What?”

When she asked the question, Jill lowered his eyes.

“What do you mean, what?”

“Is it that unusual for me to wash my face?”

“It’s not unusual.”

“Then why are you looking?”

“I can’t look?”

“It’s not that you can’t but…”

“But…?

“When you look, somehow—”

Claris spoke until this point and then she fell silent as though deep in thought and walked off.

Jill nervously tailed after her. The Eastern sky lit up and the sun rose up above the fields in a distance. Morning was about to come to the village of Valjoux.

“I get an odd feeling.”

Claris suddenly said that and then chuckled.

“Odd? What is?”

“When you look, Jill, I get a little bit embarrassed. Isn’t it odd? I’m perfectly fine if it were Father, Mother, Maxim or Hector.”

Maxim was Claris’ old brother by two years while Hector was her younger brother who was five years younger than she was. Claris’s family had five people, then there were those livestock and one free loader. Jill was without doubt that free loader.

“That is….strange.”

“Really weird. I wonder why?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Look, Jill.”

Claris suddenly came to a stop and pointed to the distance.

“Mr Sun’s face is peeking out. Look.”

Jill nodded absentmindedly.

Claris was a bundle of hecticness. She was not a busy person but her expressions and what she was talking about changed one after another. Every day, every moment, Jill would meet with a new version of her. No matter which one she was, she was dazzling to him. Quite like the morning sun. Perhaps, definitely more so than the morning sun.

“The world is changing, Jill. Right before our eyes.”

“Yeah.”

At a first look, the sun that emerged from behind the mountains did not move. It was stationary. However, the light that was merely a thin orange glow coming out from between the mountains had drawn a proper arc along the ground. The purple sky got heated up by the sun and gradually got dyed blue.

It was not just the sky, the wheat field that had not been harvested yet sparkled with a golden hue. The wind shook the head of the wheats and caused the golden light to flow out, dancing.

Claris spread both her arms wide and arched her back.

“It feels like I’m born now!”

She sometimes said unusual things. “It feels like I’m born now”. What did that mean.

Jill was unable to comprehend it. He did not understand it but yet, her words struck him in the chest.

He wanted to hear more of her words. He wanted to listen to her voice. He wanted to see her. He wanted to be next to her. He and she were the only ones around. There was not even half a person around the nearby homes or those at a distance. Even though there were a number of villagers who got up early. Even so, only she and he seemed to be the only ones who were up in the morning. If possible, he wanted it to be like this all the time. He did not want anyone or anything to disturb them.

“Jill, it’s just us here!”

Claris said, like she had read Jill’s mind.

“It’s just us experiencing this wonderful morning! Don’t you think that’s amazing?”

“It’s all thanks to you, Claris.”

Because you are in this world. That’s why.  There’s no other reason – ah, it’s impossible. I already have a whole bunch of feelings and thoughts for her but I can’t express myself properly. Frustrated, Jill hated that he was unskilled at talking.

“Thanks to me?”

Claris looked at Jill, tilting her slender neck. Just when Jill was thinking how to continue the conversation, the door of the main house opened again. The sluggish figure of Claris’ father, Donnie, appeared. Among the adults in the village, Donnie could be considered to be a slender and well-proportioned person, but even if his daughter was like that as well, they were not that similar.

“Good morning, Daddy!”

“Claris, you’re up early. Good morning.”

After Donnie stroked his bearded face, he scooped up water from the pot and drank it. After that, he threw a sidelong glance at Jill.

“You as well. Jill.”

“Yes….good morning, Uncle.”

Without returning Jill’s greeting, Donnie washed his face. His actions were rough. Donnie used too much water. Of course, he could not raise a complaint. Rather the one to receive the complaint was Jill himself.

“Jill. There isn’t enough water. Draw more water if you used it.”

“Sorry, Uncle.”

“Geez, Daddy.”

Even though Claris puffed up her face, she did not look angry.

“You always only order Jill around. Can’t you just draw the water yourself?”

Perhaps the father would not get angry no matter what his daughter said so he only shrugged and laughed for a bit.

“Daddy has work.”

“Same goes for jill.”

“Well. Drawing the water is his work. Right, Jill?”

“Yes, uncle.”

That was how it was. Jill would do whatever he was told to do. That was Jill’s job and his role in this household.

The chickens started to crow. Claris’ mother, Harlette, as well as Maxim and Hector all came out of the main house one after another. Harlette did not even look in Jill’s direction while Maxim looked at Jill and then his mouth twisted like he chewed on something bitter. The eight years old Hector leapt at Jill and pestered him to piggyback him and run. If the mother did not scold her youngest son, Jill might probably end up having to run one or two laps around.

“There’s no water. Father, there’s no water left!”

Maxim yelled loudly to deliberately be heard and Donnie shouted angrily.

“Jill! Where’s the water?!”

“I’m getting it!”

Jill did not have the strength to transport the pot all the way to the well. He had to fill a bucket with water and run between the well and the pot multiple times. If he did not finish filling up the water, he probably would not be able to get breakfast. He detached Hector from himself as gently as he could, grabbed a bucket and headed for the well.

“I’ll help as well.”

Claris approached him. Behind them, Harlette or Donnie would probably say how could you let our daughter help you with your work. It would not be good for Claris either. He should chase her away. Even though he thought that, Jill’s cheeks loosened up.

He would be together with Claris while they were filling up the water.

Even if that time was short, that memory would be etched within Jill for as long as eternity.

*

When Jill went out to the fields, whether it was weeding the grass, helping to plow the fields, harvesting the crops or taking  care of the bean plants that were planted between each plowed ridge, he did everything. He was thirteen years old. Even as a free loader, he could borrow a space between the warehouse and the livestock shed where he was assigned a narrow plot of land. He was officially a tenant farmer.

Even so, all the villagers worked together to plant, cultivate and harvest the crops. Everyone worked and distributed the harvested corps according to the size of their plot of land. Even the rental fee was all paid by the villagers to their landlord. As long as they participate in this line of work, unless something really terrible happened, they would not really go hungry. Even if they were poor, somehow, they were able to survive.

It would not be that tough if it was just farming. However, Jill was only a mere lodger. In Claris’ household, he had to draw water, take care of the livestock, fix the equipment, transport things, get rid of rats, become Hector’s playmate and so on, as long as he was told to do so, he could not refuse. At that time, even if he was in the middle of patching up his pants, if he did not leap into action immediately, it could not be helped if he was beaten.

Jill did not have his own home. If Donnie told him to get out of their house, Claris would probably protest. But even so, it would be useless. In the end, Jill could only obey.

“Does something stink here?”

After Maxim’s parents and younger siblings slept, he would occasionally visit Jill’s room. What was he here for? Jill did not know. Usually, Maxim would just lean against the pen where the goats and pig’ were, chew on a piece of grass while grumbling for a while before leaving the hut.

“Hey, did you clean up the place properly? You didn’t, right? If you did clean it up properly, it shouldn’t stink like this. Clean the place up. That’s your job, you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

Jill was lying on his straw bed, motionless. If Maxim was not around, it would be a great time to get naked, bury himself under his blankets and fall asleep. It could not be helped that he was sleepy.

“If you can hear me, then respond. I told you to clean the place up properly.”

“I did.”

“If that’s the case, then why does it stink?”

“Pigs, goats, chickens and so on eat and then they poop. The same way that humans do.”

“Don’t lump humans and animals together. Humans are different from animals. Humans are God’s special creations. Don’t you know something like that? I suppose you’re an orphan after all.”

Maxim said like it was his catchphrase. “You’re an orphan”. But he will not say that in front of other people, especially Claris. Did Maxim come over to Jill’s room just to tell him “You’re an orphan”?

“You really don’t know anything. Rather, you don’t know who you should be thanking. My father doesn’t remember things about your father well, he’s the grandson or something of one of my grandfather’s parent’s siblings….? In any case, in some way, we’re related by blood and we took you in just after meeting you once. Father is a great man. Somehow, he let you stay here. Do you understand?”

“I understand, I’m grateful towards Uncle.”

“Next, you are thankful towards God. Can you say that?”

“Next, I’m thankful towards God.”

“Are you only capable of repeating what I say word for word? Why is your head so bad?”

“I wonder why.”

“Because you’re an orphan?”

“Maybe so.”

“It so frustrating talking to you.”

If so, you don’t have to talk to me. It was not as though Jill did not want Maxim to talk to him. Rather, he was the one who did not want to talk. Jill wanted to sleep as soon as possible. Then he can go meet Claris again when he woke up.

“Jill, become a soldier.”

No matter how he replied, Maxim was just going to make it difficult for him, right? Jill kept quiet. He should pretend to sleep.

“The other day, Mr Hamelin said that some troops went to the other village to recruit soldiers. It seems like the salary is pretty good. Fight for the sake of Fladre and then drop dead, bastard. Anyway, since you’re an orphan, no one will feel sad for you, it’s perfect. Don’t you think so as well? Ungrateful. Has a terrible attitude. Despite being a mere orphan. Just an utter failure. Say something Jill, say something.”

Maxim got closer to Jill.

“You piece of shit!”

Not expecting to be kicked in the abdomen out of the blue, Jill was more surprised than in pain.

Jill groaned and curled into a ball. Was he going to get kicked more. He was struck with terror but Maxim had run in the direction of the door.

“You really have the cheek, don’t you.”

Maxim left and gradually the aching waves of pain spread from Jill’s abdomen to the rest of his body and he felt very miserable.

“I’m really grateful.”

Jill muttered as he massaged his belly. He licked the tears that spilled out – they were definitely bitter.

“Because thanks to all this, I’m able to meet Claris. After thanking Claris and God, the next would be Uncle.”

*

There was skill required to harvest the wheat stalks using a sickle. There were conditions such as the angle of the blade and the amount of strength put in. It was also important to know which part of the stalk to cut. But if one thought ‘how do I do this, like this or like that’ – all these steps one by one, then the job could not make any progress. Without thinking, one must cut with a fixed speed.

The wheat that was cut were bundled together and then piled up. If they were not left to dry, they could not be transported to the barn.

“Jill, don’t you think I have gotten much better at this?”

Claris puffed up her chest. Three, four pieces of wheat leaves were entangled in her always beautiful black hair. Her eyes were narrowed to a squint and the corners of her lips were lifted, showing a pleased expression.

While Jill piled up his own wheat bundles, he glanced over at Claris’s own completed wheat pile.

“Yeah.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Sorry, I really can’t differentiate what is skilled or lousy.”

“You can judge with your eyes. Or from an impression. Is it lovely or not?”

Whatever Claris did, she would do her best. Whether it was how she treated the sickle, the way she made the wheat bundles or how she piled them out, it seemed like it was unnecessary to come up with something clever to elaborate on them.

From looking at the wheat pile that Claris made, rather than calling it a mountain, it looked more like a bloom of flowers. It was clearly different from the rest.

“I think it’s lovely.”

“Right?”

Claris smiled as she went on to make the next pile.

Harvesting was a monotonous task. It was neither enjoyable nor boring. Of course since it needed to be done, they did it. To put it strongly, when the ripe wheat were piled up, it felt like they were tidying up, which was not a bad feeling at all.

However, Claris really was enjoying herself. They were just continued to harvest but she was content about it. When she was happy, Jill’s heart also leapt.

After swinging his sickle, someone leapt onto his back from behind.

“Wah!”

A child. And there was only one person who would do this to Jill.

“Hector, it’s dangerous.”

“It’s not dangerous, play with me, Jill.”

“Later.”

“Later, later? That’s all you ever say, Jill!”

“I’m in the middle of work.”

“Yeah, that’s right, Hector.”

Was there something strange, Claris chuckled as she spoke to her younger brother.

“We are doing our job and we have to play. But we do not have to play the same way you do, Hector.”

“What, but both of you aren’t playing!”

“Working is playing. Right? Hector, do you want to give it a go?”

“Give what a go?”

“Playing with me.”

“I want to play with older sister. I’ll do it. I’ll do it.”

“Then, help me out with my game. Here, Hector. Do it like this, okay?”

Claris passed Hector the sickle and he cut the wheat stalks. Good, good, the older sister praised the younger brother and he broke into a broad grin. Even when he was playing with Jill, Hector never showed such a face. This was actually helping out with work and not play but Hector seemed to be truly enjoying himself.

“Hector, don’t get in your sister’s way!”

The father, Donnie yelled and the older sister replied before her younger brother could duck his head.

“You’re mistaken, Daddy! Hector is helping me out!”

“I’m helping older sister play?”

Hector asked then Claris hugged her brother and let out a clear laugh.

“Yup, exactly. You know that well, don’t you, Hector.”

“I’m not a child anymore!”

“If you can make a prettier pile of wheat bundles than me, then it’s your victory, Hector!”

“Alright, I won’t lose!”

Hector did his work full of vigour.

Did Claris just wheedle her brother into doing work? The older sister picked up a spare sickle and started cutting the wheat, enjoying herself and seemingly, not wanting to lose to her younger brother. And when the younger brother got tired and stopped, she urged him to do so without chiding him.

“It’s alright if you run off for a bit, Hector. If you’re gonna go off pretty far, remember to come back!”

“Okay, older sis. I’m going to come back so let’s play again!”

“Of course!”

“It’s a promise!”

Hector threw the sickle and dashed out.

“That’s dangerous! Hector!”

Maxim, who had been nearby cutting wheat, yelled and then Claris laughed, not able to hold it in.

“It’s fine! If the sickle flies in this direction, I can just dodge it!”

The younger sister retorted and Maxim kept his mouth shut, looking troubled.

Even as Claris returned to work again, she broke into a smile when she saw Hector’s back.

“I like Hector so much. Daddy, Mommy and older brother as well.”

“Yeah.”

Other than nodding, Jill probably could not react in any other way. Maxim’s words played out again “because you’re an orphan”.

It was an indisputable fact and he was used to being told that so his chest did not hurt when he heard those words anymore. In fact, because Jill was an orphan, he did sad or lonely. He had heard it so many times over and over so he accepted it completely. — that was how it should have been.

Suddenly Claris turned her face towards Jill.

“I like you too, Jill.”

He probably was unable to do anything other than stare at her.

Claris gently placed the sickle on the ground and for some reason, lowered her volume so others could not hear.

“Hey.”

“Yeah.”

“Jill.”

“Claris.”

“I like you a lot so should be get married?”

“Eh.”

“I want to get married to you someday. Do you dislike the idea?”

“I don’t dislike it.”

“It’s sure to be fun every day.”

It was as though Claris’s sparkling blue eyes was already able to see these days from the future. Jill also wished to see those days too. It was alright to only look at those days. It was alright if they did not come to be. Because they were such high hopes. They could not become reality.

It was a something from a dream.

Claris probably did not understand. Her position and Jill’s position were different. Too different.

Should he become a soldier?

Men who did not take his work seriously and had no goal generally would have a shining direction sooner or later. Some would fall and become thieves while some would end up becoming soldiers. Whether they ended up being a thief or a soldier, they would not be able to return to their village. They probably would no longer have a place to stay.

Jill would also become a soldier. Once he left the village, he would not have the chance to return. He will not be able to meet Claris again. He hated that. No matter what happened, he did not want that. He would be able to bear it. It would feel like death. But, if he continued to work himself to the bone in this village like he did now. Just like what Claris said, would it be possible to get married with her some day?

Impossible. It could not happen. Claris’s parents would decisively oppose to it. To get married, the wedding ceremony must be held in the church. Then they must get the blessings from God, the priest and the family. Jill was convinced. Donnie and Harlette were definite not going to acknowledge him. They could not possibly consider him as an appropriate suitor to marry Claris. Surely, they will search for some other man and marry Claris off to him. After all, a daughter was not able to oppose the will of her parents. Jill also did not want her to oppose them as well.

Donnie and Harlette were Claris’s parents. They were family. They were not enemies. They loved each other, cared about each other and lived together, getting along. No matter how one thought of it, that was the best. Jill also wanted that if it was possible. If he had a family, he would do anything for his family’s sake.

Claris was loved by her parents. There should not be anyone who did not love her. Even more so since they were her real parents. The daughter also loved her parents back. The two parents, the two sons and one daughter, everyone deeply loved each other. There was nothing better than this.

Jill was an orphan, a free loader, an extra person. He had no family and it was not possible for him to become part of the family.

“It would be great if that happened.”

Would he be allowed to just dream about it? Even if it did not come true, he was happy while he was dreaming about it.

“It will happen.”

Claris suddenly pinched Jill’s nose. His eyes widened in surprise and she made a remarkably serious expression.

“I know. It will become a reality. Believe me, Jill.”

In no time, Jill was blown away by this. No matter how many times Claris said it, he was unable to believe that it will happen. It was an impossible issue. With that said, he should shake his head and then tell her that he did not believe her. But that was also impossible.

“I believe you, Claris.”

“All right!”

Claris smiled and released Jill’s nose then she picked up her sickle again, swinging it.

This was probably a dream, a wonderful dream.

If only he would never wake up from it.

*

With a tilt of the sun, the blue sky turned yellow and faded. Soon it was dusk. Setting after it rose, why would the sun faithfully repeat such actions without getting tired of it?

Once the vision of the setting sun entered his eyes, without fail, Jill will feel his chest tighten as though hurrying him to return somewhere. Of course, an orphan had nowhere to return to.  It was not as though he wanted to leave the village of Valjoux either. Even so, it felt like he had to stay here.

He had already kept the tools a while back. And when it came to drawing water, he would be done once the water from the bucket in his hands was transferred to the pot. Jill poured the water from the bucket into the pot. He covered the pot with its lid and placed the bucket back. There was still some time till dinner. Right now, Harlette and Claris were probably preparing it.

He had to go back. But, to where?

Jill walked through the fields. They were done harvesting the wheat and there were not that many piles of wheat bundles anymore. A dog barked from far away. He could see birds flying. Smoke that came from cooking were rising from various houses.

He had to go home. He will go home — but where should he go home to?

Jill realised that he was trying to get into the forest and stopped in his tracks. There was something squirming in the bushes. Taken by surprise, Jill backed up and standing there was a pig. Weeds poked at its nose and it seemed to be eating something.

In this village, pigs were let out to feed but they were usually herded back before the sun goes down. Did this pig escape or was it overlooked?

While calling out to the pig with a “hey”, Jill picked up a dry branch.

“Which pig sty did your come from? Hey.”

There was no way a pig would answer Jill who was not even its owner. It was too busy eating.

“You can’t shake your head even if you don’t know…”

Jill got closer and used the dry branch to gently knock on its back.

“Hey. You’re gonna get eaten by wolves if you stay here. You wouldn’t like that, would you?”

Three times and then a fourth, Jill knocked on the pig’s back and finally it turned its face towards him. It gave a snort as though it was sizing Jill up. Although not to the extent of dogs or horses, pigs were surprisingly clever. They were definitely brighter than animals such as chickens. Jill squatted down.

“It’s pointless for you to stay here. You’ll be in danger. Go back with me, alright?”

The instant those words left Jill’s mouth, he felt a pain in his chest and the rhythm of his breathing became messed up.— go back. To where? Of course, back to the village. There was nowhere else for him to return to anyway.

The pig made a cry through its nose as though worrying about Jill. Jill let out a sigh and showed a strained smile.

“If you can worry about me then I guess I can leave you alone….”

“What in the world are you doing, talking to a pig?”

Suddenly, a voice came from behind Jill and he frantically turned his head around. It was Maxim. The pig let out a cry and ran off.

“Ah…”

Jill wanted to give chase but he gave up on the idea. In no time, it will become dark. It would be dangerous in the forest.

If Maxim had not shown up, he might have been able to catch it. If he did that, he might have been able to  listen to what the pig had to say. He was angry but no matter how angry he was, the pig was not going to come back.

“There was a pig, though I do not know who it belonged to. I was thinking of taking it with me.”

“It’s not our pig, just let it go.”

“But.”

“Jill. You don’t get it. Pigs are pretty vicious creatures.”

Maxim crouched down and plucked off a stalk of grass and chewed on it.

“I don’t know anyone who died from getting attacked by a pig that belonged elsewhere but I do know people who have gotten hurt. You might end up like them.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For stopping me because you thought I might get hurt.”

“It’s not like I know what’s going to end up happening to an orphan like you. Well, Claris will probably cry, that girl…”

Maxim pulled a wry face and leaned against a tree.

“That girl is a good person.”

Jill nodded and looked around. Jill had no idea what he should say or do. In the first place, what was Maxim doing here? It would probably be a good idea to ask but he could not decide if he should ask.

“I could see you going somewhere.”

Even though the question was never asked, Maxim told him the reason by himself.

“I noticed so I followed you. I didn’t have anything to do until dinner time anyways. I’m just killing time. It’s the same for you isn’t it?”

“It looked like that to you, huh.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not particularly telling a lie.”

“No, it’s a lie. You’re trying to trick me? You’re not saying what you really think. You’re just hiding. You think I wouldn’t notice?”

Maxim spat out the grass in his mouth and wiped the edge of his mouth with his fingers.

“….bitter.”

Jill almost laughed but used his arm to hide the bottom of his face because he thought Maxim would lose his temper. Then, Maxim said to him, see?

“See, that’s why you’re a liar. You do things like that. It’s alright to laugh if you want to laugh. Why are you holding it back? Am I that scary? That’s not it. You hate me, don’t you? You probably do. I hate you as well.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Lies.”

“It’s true, it’s just that…”

“Just that, what?”

“I don’t understand you well.”

“No one would understand, right? I mean, I’m me. Even I don’t get what my parents are thinking about sometimes. And they’re my family. And Claris, my own blood related sister, I know nothing about what goes on in that head of hers. But precisely because we don’t understand, that’s why we try to understand, right?”

Maxim looked down and kicked his heel against the soil as though he was trying to compress it together.

“There’s a saying that says to love thy neighbour. For your information, it doesn’t mean to care for your literal neighbours. Well, it would be good if your neighbours loved you though. Then there would be no trouble. But it’s not about that, it’s about getting close to other people. If there’s some pitiful guy and he gets close to someone then others would be kind to him like they’re neighbours……I’m just telling you what I heard at church.”

Maxim added the last part in a fairly shy manner and finally Jill could not hold it in anymore and let out a burst of laughter.

“Idiot! Is there anything to laugh about?!”

“But, Maxim, you said to laugh if I felt like laughing.”

“I will get angry if I feel like getting angry.”

“I see.”

Jill had thought he had seen enough about Maxim but in actual fact, his eyes were only open now. They reached an understanding. If they could reach an agreement, why was it that he never understood the other until now? That was really a curious thing.

Maxim was the kind of person who laughed whenever he wanted to laugh and got angry whenever he felt angry. He was in a foul mood when he was in a foul mood and in a good mood whenever he was in a good mood. There was no inside emotion or outside emotion.

Why did he go visit Jill at night and talk to him when Jill would not even give a proper response?

It was simple. Maxim just wanted to go see Jill. He just wanted to talk to Jill. Though it got frustrating after Jill did not respond. He then got terribly mad and kicked Jill.

When was it that Maxim called Jill an “orphan” for the first time? It was most likely many years ago. He was not as verbally abusive back then. At the beginning, Jill also did not feel that Maxim was someone he could not deal with. Being two years his senior, Maxim was like an elder brother to him. But he was not his actual brother. They were not connected by blood. They were not family.

In the end, which came first?

Maxim first calling  Jill an orphan or was it Jill first forming strong thoughts that Maxim was not his older brother?

That was uncertain but the fact was till now, Maxim still went to Jill’s room sometimes. Right now, Jill had not started a conversation with Maxim. Maxim had gone after Jill who was wandering aimlessly into the forest in the evening. He had warned him to be careful about the dangers caused by pigs.

“Jill, you…”

Maxim bent his body over slightly and peered at Jill’s face.

“What’s wrong? You’re shaking.”

“I’m enduring.”

“I already said you don’t have to hold back.”

“But it’s embarrassing.”

“What’s embarrassing?”

“I’m gonna cry.”

“You’re weird. Is there even any reason for you to cry?”

“There is. For me at least.”

“Then, it’s fine to cry. Cry, cry, just cry already.”

“I’m not going to.”

Jill shut his eyes, clenched his teeth and summoned strength into his body. Then he opened his eyes, looked straight at Maxim and smiled.

“I don’t want to cry in front of you so I won’t cry.”

“If that’s what you think then it’s okay.”

Maxim shrugged, crouched down and plucked off another blade of grass.

“Is this bitter?”

“Wouldn’t you know when you chew on it?”

“It’s surely bitter.”

Maxim threw the grass away and raised his eyes to look at Jill.

“Jill, you’re an orphan.”

“That’s right.”

“Claris isn’t your family. So it’s possible for you to marry her if you want. You like her, don’t you?”

Jill covered his face with both hands. He did not want to cry, he did not plan to cry but the confidence he had to hold his tears in was dwindling.

Maxim stood up and patted Jill on the back.

“It goes without saying, it’s still too early for that. Once you and Claris become proper adults, if you both still have mutual feelings for each other then it wouldn’t be strange if that happened. Show my Father  that you can become a man he can acknowledge. You’re terribly mistaken if you think that it’s fine to do as you are told just because you’re an orphan.”

“Maxim, you’re already a splendid man.”

“Because I’m older.”

“I have to become reliable too.”

“Men have to create a family and protect it properly. That is their most important job.”

“I wonder if it’s possible for me.”

“It’s up to whether you want to do it or not— we should get back home soon, Jill. It’s time for dinner.”

That place was Maxim’s home but not Jill’s. Who knows when he would get kicked out of it. That feeling of unease persistently hung above him. The words “Get out” have never been once said to him but he was still jumpy about it.

“You’re right. Let’s go home.”

Once Jill said that, Maxim walked off with a strange expression on his face. Jill followed after Maxim. When he was a child, he followed after Maxim’s footsteps just like now often. Before he realised it, he was pushed away with Maxim saying “don’t follow me”. Anyone would should disgust if they were followed around the clock. Even so, Jill could not imagine that and he was hurt by Maxim rejecting him.

Jill was thirteen years old. Even if he could not be considered a grown-up, it was also not possible to treat him like a child, like the eight year old Hector. Both Donnie and Harlette also do not particularly treat Jill that badly. They just see Jill, who was growing up, as a man. That was all.

Jill was probably too naïve. He did not have enough self-awareness. He had to grow up. He had to become an adult as soon as he could.

Perhaps under certain circumstances, he could get an empty land allocated under his name. He could ask the land lord to open up a piece of forest and get assigned that land as his own. It was rare for an allocated piece of land to be empty. It was difficult to reclaim the land on his own, he would need a few people to put it up together.

Maxim will eventually inherit his father’s land but he would need to split it with his younger brother, Hector. Perhaps Maxim was thinking of reclaiming it and he might rope Jill into the endeavour. Rather than working with complete strangers, it would be easier to work with Jill. Of course, all this was just Jill’s deduction yet it was not an impossible scenario.

Become an adult. Become a man. Acquire a piece of land. Marry Claris. Create a family. A real family. It was not a dream. It was a goal. Should he do it, should he not do it? That’s right, no matter how many years he took, he will make it happen.

“What?”

Maxim stopped right in the middle of the fields. He turned to the west. Jill also turned his gaze in that direction.

Forest spread out in the West and South of Valjoux, in the East were hills and if you walked in the Northern direction for a while, one would come across a river. Jill and Maxim were returning from the Southern forest.

They could see something in the direction of the Western forest—what. What was it? There was still a bit of light but it was already quite late. Given how dark it was, it was difficult to make out things at a distance. But they were quite sure that the object was moving. Could it be a person? Or maybe a cow or a horse. Whether it was people or livestock, it was strange. They were standing in a line.

“People.”

Jill muttered. There was fire. He could see flames here and there. Surely the people there were moving while holding torches. They could not be anything else other than people. Even so, it was strange.

It feels like the people there were walking at a fast pace. Were they running? Or perhaps there were horses? If that was the case, then those people were probably riding on horses. He did not ride horses in this village in the first place but he had seen others on them a few times. Maxim touched his own cheeks and jaw.

“Isn’t this weird?”

The line of horses were advancing gradually. They cut across the fields of the village. They were already close to the residence on the Western edge. That house was where Kherlen, a huge man whom he had quarrelled with one or twice in this village, lived. Because his own home was far away, he did not know it well, but he was sure that Kherlen had a lot of children. About ten of them.

“What in the blazes are those guys doing? What—“

“Ah.”

Jill made a sound. The horse rider threw a torch towards Kherlen’s house. They could see that. Someone dashed out of Kherlen’s house. They could hear their voice. They were shouting. Then a horse rider crashed into that person. Then what happened after that. They could not see from this distance. Was something happening.

“Maxim.”

“Yeah.”

“We must go home.”

“You’re right….right. We need to report to Father!”

Jill ran as though he was competing against Maxim. Soon his chest hurt like it was getting torn apart. Both his throat and sides were in pain as well. What’s going on? He did not need to stop or rest. What was that group  doing over there? Jill did not know. It was not possible to get an explanation from anyone but he was certain that it was nothing pleasant. He was sure of it. Something unbelievably terrible was happening. It could not be happening, it was not going to happen, even such thoughts could not form in his head.

While his arms were swinging, while his legs were moving, Jill turned his gaze towards the Western side multiple times. Kherlen’s house was burning. There was also smoke rising from several other houses. Wails and once in a while, the shrill screams of women could be heard. It seemed like that band of people were attacking the houses in this village. As Maxim ran, he shouted “God almighty!” Houses were built up intermittently In the middle of the village which was mostly made up of fields and pastures. There were more than a hundred buildings clustered in the centre of the village where the church was — it was almost like a small town. Maxim and Jill’s house was located on the outer boundaries that was south of that. Crap.

As the flames of the bunch of torches shook like will o’ wisps, they headed in the direction of Maxim and Jill’s home. Swiftly. Far too swiftly. Would they make it in time. Will Maxim and Jill be able to make it to their destination before the group?

There was also a commotion in the middle of the village as though someone had prodded a bee’s hive. Were their fellow villagers in the middle of preparing their dinner or were they in the midst of eating their dinner? The many men and women noticed the group and were frantic, not knowing if  they should return home or run away.

“Father! Mother! Claris! Hector!”

Maxim ran at full speed while yelling out the names of his family members repeatedly. Finally they could see their house. There was someone there. Was it Donnie? Most likely. Maxim waved his arm.

“There are bad people! Run away, Father! Get everyone out and run!”

Perhaps Maxim’s voice managed to reach him. Donnie entered the main house. Most likely, Harlette, Claris and Hector were in the house. They had to run without a moment to lose but they were slow. Too slow. What in the world were they doing. Two or three of those horse men were closing in from the centre of the village.

“Maxim! Those guys are coming!”

“I know.!”

“What do we do?!”

Jill asked and Maxim shook his head. It was at that time. Harlette, Claris as well as Donnie, who was carrying Hector, ran out from the main house of their home.

The horse riders seemed to have their sights set on the neighbouring Hamelin’s home. Hamelin, his wife and their two children flew out of their home and screamed.

Donnie and the rest ran towards Jill and Maxim. Maxim gestured in the direction of the North.

“Father! Father! Things are terrible here! Get to the river!”

“We can’t go north!”

Jill raised his voice, sounding desperate. If they head north, there would be a river. That river was the source of where their water for domestic use came from. There was a house with a water wheel there that was used for grinding flour and they would be able to reach the neighbouring village of they crossed the river and walked for a bit. However smoke was rising at the Northern side. Something was burning. Surely something had been set alight. The enemies were also in the North.

Where was safe?

Where should they escape towards?

When Jill came to be aware of his surroundings, rather than running away, he was still at the same spot, not having taken a step.

“Damn! What the hell?! They’re soldiers! Damn!”

Donnie shouted vulgarities and Harlette also said something in a shrill voice.

“Come on, Hector! Come over to big brother!”

Maxim beckoned Hector to come over to him.

Hamelin’s home was burning.

The horse riders were dashing over.

The villagers -there was not one of them whom he did not know the face of-  were running, falling over and their cries rose up.

What should he do now? Jill thought.

Where were they now?

Where?

Why?

What?

What’s the reason?

“Jill!”

A voice called him and when he looked, it was Claris rushing towards him. Her  eyes were wide and her entire face was stiff. The instant that expression on her face entered his eyes, though belatedly, Jill understood what he had to do. He stepped forward and held onto Claris.

“Let’s run away. Let’s run away, Claris. It’ll be fine, I’ll protect you.”

“But, to where?”

“To the church! Go!”

Donnie yelled furiously and as though flying, his wife and then his two sons went ahead.

“No matter how foul they are, they won’t lay a hand on the house of God! Take shelter in the Church! Claris! Jill! The two of you get a move on as well!”

He was lost in his thoughts. Jill pulled Claris’s hand and ran. Claris seemed like she was going to fall over but she straightened her body that was getting pulled along and ran as quickly as her body allowed. Harlette, Maxim and Hector were before them. Donnie tailed right behind Jill and Claris. He was trying to protect his family as a father. Because Donnie was behind them, Jill never turned his head back. There was no need to. Donnie was right there.

Soon, they could see the front garden of the church. Maxim, who had been leading the group, suddenly came to a stop and waved his arms around.

“It’s no good, Father! It’s not good! Those guys are at the church!”

“That can’t be!”

With a ferocious speed, Donnie overtook Jill and Claris, then Harlette and Hector and Maxim then he hugged his balding head.

“Do they want to bring down the wrath of God?! Those Britannia devils!”

“Is this a war?!”

Harlette hugged Hector close to herself and sat down on the ground.

“I never heard a thing about this! A war?! Such a thing!”

“But—“

Maxim seemed like he was going to say something but fell silent— But.. That’s right. Britannia. Frankly speaking, that feeling that he was experiencing this had yet to hit Jill but this was the truth. This was reality.

Villagers lay in  the front garden of the church. It was not as though they had simply fallen over or something or they were just prone. They were not moving. There was not even a twitch. Most likely they had stopped breathing. In other words they were no longer among the living. They were dead.

There were riders in the front garden as well. Other than the riders, there were also men with imposing appearances holding swords and spears. Several men were holding down one of the women from their village and doing something. That woman was alive. She was the young wife of a man who went by the name of Olmi. What were those armoured men doing to Olmi’s wife? Please stop, please stop – She was begging them, however, the armoured men, those troops from Britannia, ignored her and—

“Morons!”

A man on the horseback scolded the troops. The soldiers, including the horses were all wearing helmets but even so, that man wore nothing upon his head, revealing his long red hair. There was also scars on his face. Just a shout from that man with an unusual appearance and the soldiers jolted and leapt away from Olmi’s wife. The red haired man was probably the boss of these soldiers. He was on a horse, perhaps he’s a knight of some sort.

“Don’t forget! Our mission is to take over every single one of them!”

The red haired knight sounded like he was warning his subordinates with that seemingly awe inspiring voice of his but he then suddenly roared with laughter.

“That’s what I tell you all all the time! That kind of thing is to be done behind the commander’s back! How many times to I have to tell you all this before it gets drilled into your skulls, shitty scum?! Next time if I see any of your filthy things, I’ll cut them off!”

The soldiers squirmed awkwardly and scratched their necks. Olmi’s wife, whose clothes have been torn off, revealing her skin wanted to make a break for it, thinking she got lucky.

“Gann!”

Without a moment’s delay, the red haired knight gave an order and the rider next to him operated the weapon he had with him while on the saddle. Something flew out of that weapon and the wife gave a groan and turned around. She tried to crawl toward but finally all her strength left her. A thin item had pierced her back.

“As usual, you never miss the mark, Gann.”

The red haired knight hit his waist and the rider by the name of Gann shrugged his shoulders.

“At this distance, it would be harder not to hit. —isn’t it a waste to do this?”

“There will still be other women. Take a look.”

The red haired knight controlled the reins of his horse and the horse’s head turned towards Jill and the rest.

“That one is a bit old and the other a brat but they still have their use.”

“Go.”

Donnie stepped forward and in a hatefully low and threatening voice, spoke.

“Run. Run away from here. Quickly!”

Maxim pulled on Harlette’s and Hector’s wrists.

“Father…”

“It’s alright, just go.— Jill.”

Donnie turned his neck slightly and looked at Jill. Donnie’s face was as white as a sheet. Sweat spilled down and his hair clung to his face. It was the face of a dead man.

“I’m counting on you.”

Jill did not reply. Instead, he ran, dragging Claris behind him. He would not be able to move forward if he did not pull on her. Claris was fighting back.

“Daddy! No, Jill! Daddy will…!”

Forcefully dragging Claris with him, Jill went back to the road they came from. Donnie had told Jill that he was counting on him. He was relying on an orphan such as Jill. Who or what  was he handing over to Jill to take care of? It was understood. It was Claris. Donnie was counting on Jill to look after Claris. … ah, really?! Jill was a complete idiot. A father did not just leave his daughter to anyone in times of an emergency. Unless it was someone from his family or someone he really trusted!

“Please, I’m begging you. Somehow! Somehow you must!”

Donnie’s voice was ripped apart by the cry from the horse. Claris turned back to look again.

“No, Daddy!”

Something tragic was happening. Jill pulled Claris with force and quickened his pace.

“Don’t look, Claris! You mustn’t look!”

“Mother!”

Maxim let out a cry out of fear. It was not just him, Harlette and Hector—

“Go! Go! Maxim, Hector—“

“Mommy! Mommy, no!”

“They’re coming, Hector! They’re coming here!”

“Kill the brat!”

“Uwah!”

“Big brother!”

“Sto—“

Without thinking, Jill turned his head around. He raced down the bare earth, a sight he could not believe crossing his eyes. Lies. He decided they were lies. Illusions. It was not possible that Hector, only eight years old, was being cut down by a sword by someone rising atop a horse. Maxim was on his hands and knees. He was likely injured. Jill could not believe it. Lies. If this world was not Hell itself, then such things would not be happening.

Or was this Hell? At what point of time did Jill die? Was he unable to go to Heaven? Did he fall down to Hell? Was that why he was witnessing such things? Jill stopped, trying to count the sins that he had committed. Claris was with him. Jill was holding onto Claris’s hand tightly. Putting Jill aside, Claris should not fall to Hell. She was definitely heading for Heaven. If Claris was here then this place could not be Hell. Heaven should not be such a horrific place  so naturally, this place was not  Heaven either. Jill and Claris were both alive. They had to escape. But, to where?

Claris did not say anything. She was crying but she still followed Jill. The church that was supposed  to provide them a safe sanctuary became like that. Where should they run?

The North was no good. How about the hill in the East? The land around the hill belonged to the landlord and grapes and other fruits were cultivated there. There seemed to be the light from torches swaying around over at that hill. Those bastards were at the hill too. They could not go to the hill.

Suddenly a thought flashed across his head. Jill saw those riders coming from the Western forest. The West. If those people attacked from the West then they probably were not there anymore. The forest was dangerous at night but he could not say such words anymore. They were going to escape to the Western forest.

Once Jill made up his mind, he forced his body to move forward. Every time Claris slowed down, he would tug her arm to urge her to hurry.

Darkness was trying cover up the terrifying world. But it was useless. These sins could not possibly be hidden. Those people held torches in their hands and the fires that they set illuminated the work of the Devil on the repulsive figures of those people themselves.

Aside from Jill and Claris, there were quite a number of villagers who were aiming for the West forest as well. He felt reassured yet uneasy at the same time. If any of them were discovered by this gang of ruffians, it would be over. This devils were sure to give chase.

“It’s no use. It’s no use. What do we do. Is it really hopeless…”

Jill mumbled to himself as he ran through the Western forest. No matter what happened, Claris’s hand was the only thing he would not let go. Would he let go even at the instant that sword came down on them? The forest. They will hide themselves in the forest. They would be fine as long as they were in the forest. They were going to escape. Almost there. Just a bit more and they will set foot into the forest. Just a bit more. They were alright now. The forest. The forest at night was pitch black. It was dangerous to run. They would hit the trees. Even the tree just before them was not visible.

They would walk. They walked. He had never relied on or loved the darkness like this before.

“Jill, Jill……Jill, I….”

“It’s okay, Claris, it’ll be alright…. It’ll be alright so….”

While trying as hard as he could to regulate his breathing, he placed his index finger on his lips and went shhh.

“Keep quiet. Just in case… don’t make any sound. Alright? Claris, keep quiet….”

“I understand…yes, Jill, I understand, you’re right….”

“Come on, over here… let’s go.”

To somewhere far away. Even though the darkness in the forest seemed like it would crush them, they knew which direction their village was. It was bright. They will move away from the light and head towards the dark. Towards where the deep darkness was.

He heard voices. Crying. Screaming. Calling. The sound of grass being stepped on. It was the villagers. Several villagers, no, more than just several seemed to have escaped into the forest as expected.

“That was Carolie’s voice…”

Claris stopped. Carolie was the daughter of one of their neighbours. She was around Claris’s age so they got along well with each other since they were children. Jill pulled on Claris’s hand.

“You must have heard wrong…. I don’t hear anything.”

Claris started walking without resisting Jill. It was not a lie, Jill said within his heart. It was true. He could not hear Carolie’s voice. It was a woman’s voice. It was a voice of her calling for someone. However, it was not Carolie. Most likely, Claris was mistaken. The voice came from far away. He could not tell whose voice it belonged to.

Would he?

Even if he turned around, he could not see the fire in the village. In by first place, was the village in that direction? Had Jill really been walking in a straight path all this time? He looked up at the night sky. The moon could not be seen either. It did not seem like there was any way for him to get his bearings.

He could not longer hear the voices or footsteps of the villagers anymore. Had he  already put enough distance between himself and the village? Jill looked to Claris to check if she felt the same— such a thing was impossible. Claris was depending on Jill. Of course. She was crushed by all the tragedies so she probably did not want to think or could not even think. She probably did not even have the willpower to run but she followed Jill. That was expectedly the best she could do at this time. He did not want to put anymore burden upon her.

Jill made a decision.

He did not know the cardinal directions. He was not sure how much time had passed or how far they ran away. Even so, Jill decided what they should do.

“Let’s hide. Somewhere over there…. In a bush. We have to rest for a bit.”

Claris nodded her head silently. There was plenty of thickets among the shrubs. When they pushed their way through, the thin branches painfully  hit their arms and faces but they could not do anything about it. It was better than making noise while bending or breaking the branches and drawing attention. However, this was fine. Like this, they could hide themselves. If someone passed their way nearby, they probably would not be noticed from where they were hiding. Jill held onto Claris’s hand and leaned close to her while crouching on the ground. It was fine just like this.

Once they were like this for a while, Claris broke into sobs. She covered her mouth with one hand trying to hold the sobbing back. Jill made up his mind and let go of her hand. He then hugged her body  tightly. He whispered into her ear.

“I’m here. I’m here……Claris, I’m right here with you. I definitely won’t leave you. I’m here for you.”

Claris pressed her face against Jill’s shoulder and moved her head up and down numerous times. He stroked the trembling girl’s back and softly repeated the words, it’s alright, it’s alright. The words were not just meant for her, he wanted to say those words to himself as well. He wanted to believe that. He must believe that. He believed that everything will be alright.

Strangely enough, memories that he had of others did not appear in his mind. Jill did not recall the barbaric acts of those Devils or the death of others. There was no name for the uneasy fear that squeezed his throat. There was no content that lead to that. He was just scared.

If this went in, Jill’s head would become weird.Jill  had to endure it and he smelt the smell coming off Claris. She smelt like milk, a faintly sweet fragrance mixed within a sour scent. Once he took a deep inhalation, filling his lungs, he became somewhat calm.

“Jill.”

Suddenly Claris, though only just slightly, smiled.

“That tickles.”

“Ah, sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Claris rubbed her nose against Jill’s nape.

“When I do this, I feel more at ease.”

“It’s just sweat.”

“I’m like that too. My sweat stinks, doesn’t it?”

“It smells nice.”

“Liar.”

“I mean it. It’s not a lie. I will never lie to you, Claris.”

“I like it too. Your smell, Jill.”

Jill put more strength into his arms that were wrapped around Claris. She hugged him back as well. They were both shaking. Jill had  strong thoughts of not wanting to die. No way. He did not want to die. He  wanted to live. He wanted to live together with her. To survive. She hoped for the same as well. It was no joke if they died. Neither he nor she will die. They got through that predicament so they were able to live. Death was far away. At the very least, it was not here. The two of them were alive. And they will continue to be alive.

“Let’s get married, Claris. Once we’re grown up, marry me.”

“When will we become grown ups?”

“I don’t know.”

“I can’t wait that long. I don’t want to wait.”

“Me too.”

“It’ll be great if the pastor was here.”

Claris chuckled. It was dark so her could not see her laughing face. It would be better if the night quickly became brighter.

“If he was, then let’s carry out a wedding ceremony.”

“Here?”

“Here and now.”

Claris’s face was right next to Jill’s. Their noses were almost touching.

Even their lips were soon going to contact each other.

“Do you know the vows?”

“I don’t.”

“Do you want me to teach you?”

“Un.”

Claris nodded slightly. Their noses never bumped each other’s.

Jill’s upper lip connected with Claris’s upper lip.

There was a sound and Jill immediately  drew his body back. The two of them nodded at each other and held their breaths. There was light flickering from their left. Horses. There were horses trotting around. Were they the riders? There was a man’s voice. They could not tell what he was saying. Angry voices rang out, tragic screams and other cruel sounds continued.

“I can bring them down myself!”

That voice could be clearly heard.

“Come out here!”

Another voice said.

“If you come out obediently,  we’ll spare your lives!”

“Take your clothes off! Come out completely naked! Give us whatever you have on you!”

“Over there! There’s someone there getting away!”

“After them! Don’t let them escape!”

“There’s another one there!”

“Help! Please help!”

“Hey hey, I can’t tell if you’re begging for your life! If that’s what you want then I’ll kill you!”

“That’s…! You’re not helping m…!”

“Who would know the thoughts of a farmer?!”

What?

What were those people doing?

Jill hugged Claris tightly and he used whatever strength he had beyond to bite his lower lip. His chest moved up and down violently and the breaths that escaped his nose were shallow and rapid.

Someone, one of the villagers, was killed by those bastards. There was no mistake.

The lights swayed. There and here. Under the light of the torches raised up high, one can see that there were not only the riders. It seemed like there were foot soldiers as well.

“Show yourselves!”

“Get out here if you don’t want to die!”

“Nothing good would come from hiding!”

“Oh! There, there!”

“Alright! I’ll take that one down!”

“Hell no! That’s my prey!”

“Stop arguing, get along with each other already!”

“That would be my third person!”

“Shit! I haven’t even got one person yet, give  the next one to me!”

“Who would want to do that? Go prattle in your sleep if you want to sleep talk!”

As the scolding voices poured onto each other, this people laughed heartily. They were enjoying themselves. About what? Killing people? Was that supposed to be enjoyable? Was it fun to hurt people, to take away the lives of others? If there were really people who felt that way then they must be complete freaks. Yes. All of those soldiers were freaks. They were abnormal. It was also useless to beg for their own lives. It would no get through to those people. It would be the end if they were found. They would be killed. They were not moving. They will stay motionless here. There was nothing more important than that. No matter what is there. No matter what happened, they will stay here until the gale has passed. That was their priority.

A rock. They intend to become rocks. Jill and even Claris were no longer humans. They were just rocks. Claris also forced her body to become stiff and did not move at all. If they were rocks then they could not hear anything. They could not see anything. Jill thought that way. With that, he really could not hear anything. If he closed his eyes, he could not see anything. He could only feel Claris’s touch and warmth. There was nothing else other than that.

It was quiet. At some point of time, silence returned to the forest. They were not there. The troops. Had disappeared. They were gone. They had left. They had not found Jill and Claris.

Now. They should leave this place now. He did not know to where but in any case, they could not stay in the village. Jill was going to open his mouth to speak.

“……someone.”

It was a weak voice. Naturally, it did not come from Jill. It did not belong to Claris either. It was a voice they knew.

“Is anyone there…. Someone….”

The voice that was interlaced with coughs continued. It seemed like the owner of the voice was a fair distance away but he was heading for their direction. Claris wanted to call out his name. Without a moment’s delay, Jill covered her mouth with his hand and shook his head. He was warning her to wait, without making a sound. Quietly. Wait. I. am with you, Claris. I will come back for you. I will get him. Stay here. Okay? Understand?

Claris nodded. The words did not come in the form of a voice but she understood him. Jill left Claris’s side and he tried to crawl out of the bushes. Far from being on the verge of getting out, the tip of his right hand left the area first.

“There!”

A soldier from far away yelled, light was flickering. They were found. Jill wanted to call out Maxim’s name but his throat only spasmed and merely air leaked out. He pulled his right hand back and with that, his body stopped moving. The light from the torches were getting closer. It was the solders. The soldiers have finally made their way here. Maxim—that person whose voice sounded like Maxim’s collapsed onto the ground.

“Ahh, it’s useless already, God….”

“Do you want to meet God?! You’ll meet him soon!”

The soldiers dashed at Maxim, no, the person whose voice sounded like Maxim’s and did something terrible. That was not Maxim, that someone who had a voice similar to Maxim’s was going to draw his last breath in no time. If not then he will probably sustain a serious wound.

“What. He doesn’t  have anything. A miss huh, shithead.”

Terror. Jill was terrified. Terror, Terror that could not be helped. He was terrified.

The soldier spat and drew back. He could not her the sound of footsteps anymore. He could still see the light faintly. It light flickered for an instant here and there. The soldiers were there. Still there. There were many of them in the forest, it was just that he could not see them from the middle of the bushes. Claris crawled over and hugged Jill’s back.

“It’s a mistake, it’s surely a mistake. That’s the wrong person. Right? Right?”

Instead of agreeing with her, Jill just whispered back.

“Let’s run. It’s dangerous here. It’s not safe….we have to run.”

It was impossible for them to stay here. He did not want to be here for a second longer. It seemed like Claris was of the same opinion. The two of them left the cover of the bushes. They pushed forward without looking behind them.

They could not walk leisurely. They were going to run. There was only darkness before them. No soldiers. They will escape. They leaned against each other, supporting each other, moving their feet forward and moving ahead. They can escape like this. They could escape.

“Found you.”

It was a mocking and outright teasing tone.

Claris stopped. No, that was incorrect. Out of the blue, someone, probably a soldier, emerged from the shadows of trees and grabbed her arm or somewhere and pulled her back.

Both their hands were linked together. On reflex, Jill yanked on Claris’s arm. She wailed.

“Claris!”

“Jill!

“A girl! A girl!”

The soldier was going to snatch Claris from Jill. He would not hand her over. Was she even something to hand over. She was in pain. But, Jill did not ease up on his strength. So it was strange. It was impossible.

Suddenly, it felt like Claris was floating in the air.

Why?

Because the hand was released.

Jill?

Released Claris’s hand?

Why?

Claris stared at Jill with eyes that was filled was panic. It was dark but somehow, he was able to see that clearly. She did not seem to understand what had happened either. She surely was unable to believe that Jill let go of her hand. She must have been mistaken. However, even if she had mistaken, it meant nothing.

In order to snatch Claris from Jill’s grasp, the soldier had to get rid of those in the way first. He sent a hard kick into Jill’s abdomen. For Jill, that was an attack he did not see coming. Jill not only let Claris’s hand go. He was sent flying and the ground beyond him was not of a good terrain, it was not flat. It was sloping like some kind of valley. Jill tumbled and fell. His body was hit over. His arms and back were sliced but the sharp branches of dried out wood. He could not fight back. He just kept tumbling, not able to find a way to do anything. She yelled. She screamed his name over and over but all he could do is fall. Falling, falling, he fell all the way.

He was at the bottom. He could hear the voices of men. From time to time, her voice also spilled out in bits and pieces. The soldier was not alone. There were many of them. It seemed like they had gathered together. And they were doing terrible things to her. Oh, oh, great, great, good, good. What, already? That was quick. It’s my turn next. Let me take over. Yes. Yes. Yes. Ah, what a good idea. Not bad at all. Ahh? Has she croaked already? No, she’s still breathing. What should we do with her? Bring her back? No way, it’s troublesome. Let’s just dump her after we’re done. The next turn is mine. Pain. His entire body hurts. Breathing was painful. His head hurt as well. His whole body was heavier than anything he felt before.

“Hey, what happened to the brat. There was another one, wasn’t there?

“He fell. In that valley, over there.”

“So he’s dead?”

“Who knows. We’ve been ordered to kill as much as we can.”

“That Sir Knight becomes more careless that his enemies when he gets mad.”

“Should we search?”

“After I do it one more time.”

“Your type huh.”

“Shut it. As expected. I prefer young girls to old hags. The taste is different, the taste.”

“I don’t need to know your preferences.”

“I’m done. Let’s search for the brat. Finally more people are here.”

Search. Search for the brat. Brat. That was him, right. Sure. Whatever. It would be fine if they came searching for him. Just find him quickly. Kill. Kill him. It’s fine. There was no point living anymore. He had nothing but sufficient reasons to die.

“Fu fu….”

–The sound of her laughter reached his ears. There was no reason for that. Was he hearing things?

He hoped that was the case. She laughed even more. Sharp loud laughter rang out.

“This girl….”

“It’s creepy, shut up!”

The men hit her. They were beating her up as hard as they could. Finally her laughter stopped. However, she did not keep quiet.

“Curse you! Curse you! Curse you! The Lord will not forgive you! I curse all of you! Go to hell! Go to hell! Go to–!”

“Shut your trap!”

As soon as the man yelled out angrily, she fell silent. And that was all.

She was dead.

Just now, she died.

She was killed.

She was supposed to live. They planned to survive together. Of course, he liked her. He could probably even say that he loved her. He loved her and only her. That was why he wanted to marry her. She was important to him, always. There was none more important than she was. She could not be compared to anyone else. He was going to become her husband. She was going to become his wife. They would be together. They would be together till the day they died. He decided never to leave her. He lay down at the bottom of the valley, curled up like a dying mutt. How was he going to get there. He did not know. Could he move with his own strength. He did not strength. Were the soldiers coming to look for him? He did not know.

He waited. He single-mindedly continued to wait for his end. He had no idea how and what form that will come to him. Not knowing was the only thought he had. However, it was fine to wait. That was the only think that he was sure of. Because she was dead. Because she was no longer around, so everything should be over.

The sky became brighter just as usual. The sun was rising, how strange.

A new day began as though nothing had happened. Weird.

She was dead yet the birds were singing. The morning sun’s rays shone down and tickled his cheeks.

And supposedly the most important person, the most indispensable person in his life, had died.

She did not just die. She was killed. BY those men. By those soldiers. She was treated as a plaything and then mercilessly killed. No, wrong—wrong. It was not like that.

She was killed off because of him. He let her die. He let go of her hand. He had released her hand. He was supposed to hold on no matter what happened. He was not innocent. On the contrary, he had sinned. A clear sin. He abandoned her. It was like he killed her. He killed her.

*

That place could be considered close to being a rubbish heap. Rather, it was a rubbish heap. If it were someone who believed in God, they would not believe that people lived in that kind of place. At least in this place where devout believers would not approach, in a corner of this town where the sick who could not be seen to be helped could crouch, where beggars could lay down to rest, where rats acted like they owned the place and where countless flies flew about, there was a garbage dump that could be called a tavern.

Both the tables and long benches that were lined up in the tavern are black. The walls, pillars, floor, everything was covered in dust and fat and sweat and urine and vomit and alcohol and blood and over time, they became black and filthy. There was no such thing as a window. It stank. It smelt more unpleasant than stench emitted from a rotting corpse but there were people in the tavern.

The customers were indeed continuing to gulp down their alcohol while ignoring the smell. They were, after all, the same as faeces and flies. They averted their eyes away from the reality before them and got themselves dead drunk with cheap alcohol as though they were showering in them.

A man opened the door anew and set foot into this garbage pile. He put his impossibly filthy cloak that one can confidently say was rather thick onto his head that had an unfamiliar face to the people in the tavern. He was wearing an outfit that could not be considered an outfit, jus appropriate for this dump. Looking around, there are plenty of customers who look no different from that man. There were only people who carried guilt in this garbage pile. And far from feeling guilty, their faces had impressive scars that was so uncommon that one would not need to have a second look.

The new guest stood at the doorway for a while and peered around the tavern. The earlier guest looked at him suspiciously but they mostly ignored him after.

“Don’t just stand there, give me some cash and get a drink.”

The frail elderly tavern owner said with a quivering voice and only the words sounded strong.

“If you got no cash, get out. If you’re okay with piss over alcohol, I can let you have that for free.”

Sparse laughter rang out and the new guest approached the table at the end with footsteps that were strangely soft, like a cat’s. There was already a guest at that table drinking. It was a man with greasy hair that was messily chopped, very thin lips and a left shoulder that hung low.  The man glanced at the new guest and then clicked his tongue.

“It’s not that crowded that you have to share a table, right?”

The new guest just said, yeah, giving a short affirmation, sat down, facing the direction of the man, and placed a coin on the table.

“A glass of water.”

“What?”

The tavern owner approached him with wobbly steps.

“You come to my tavern and ask for water, you….”

“Water.”

The new guest pushed the coin on the table towards the tavern owner. The tavern owner took the coin timidly under the light of the only shabby oil lamp that lit the inside of the dark shop, he inspected the coin thoroughly.

“….It’s a fake, correct? I’m sure of that.”

“I wonder.”

“It’s a gold coin though….”

The tavern owner polished the dull gold coin on his sleeve several times and stuck it in his pocket.

“Water right. Are you alright with just water?”

“Haven’t I been saying that?”

“Wait for a while.”

The tavern owner rat off and the new guest slowly knocked on the table three times with the index finger of his right hand. The earlier guest from before whom he was facing licked his thin lips.

“You have quite a lot of gold on you.”

“That’s not true.

“What business do you have coming to a run-down bar like this?”

“To drink water.”

“Surely you jest.”

The earlier customer drank his own alcohol and used his arm to wipe around his mouth.

“You’re still young. Yet, you have money. Stop shitting me.”

“I knew a man with the same name as you.”

“What?”

“Maxim.”

“….Why, do you know my name?”

“Heard it by chance.”

“Do you think I’ll believe you?”

“I wonder.”

The new guest leaned forward, his upturned eyes looking at Maxim from beneath the hood of his cloak that covered his head.

“I want to speak with you. Maxim.”

“Nameless bastard. I don’t have anything that I want to talk to you about.”

“Is that so?”

The new guest took out another coin and placed it on the table. Maxim’s eyes widened.

“….A fake.”

“Do you want to check?”

“What do you want to ask?”

“It’s a bit inconvenient to talk about it here.”

The new guest picked up the coin and made a show of clenching it and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m only interested in what you have to say. I don’t want anyone else to eavesdrop.”

“Sure.”

Maxim got up from his seat first. Then the new guest stood up and informed the tavern owner that he did not need the water. The tavern owner did not look like he was going to return the gold coin but the new guest did not ask for it either. Maxim left the trashy tavern with his hand hiding the grin on his face. After walking for a short while, he stopped in his tracks and tilted his head. Maxim turned around and his body shook.

“……You’re, you’re there? You’re actually there. You weren’t making a sound so….”

“No running away, Maxim.”

The new guest was right behind Maxim.

“I have no reason to run.”

Maxim pulled back his hand that seemed to be about the pull his sword from his belt and rubbed both his hands together.

“ Oh right. Your name is?”

“Do you want to know?”

“I want to know. It’s unfair for only my name to be called out.”

“It’s Jill.”

“That’s your real name?”

“I wonder. Does it really matter?”

“Well.”

“Let’s talk as we walk.”

The young man who called himself Jill urged Maxim to move forward. Jill did not move away from Maxim’s back. It was almost as though Maxim was being chased ahead by Jill.

“……So, what is it that you want to ask me? Let’s just get this over and done with already. There’s nothing….”

“Are you in that much of a hurry, Maxim. I’m not anxious.”

“Anxious or whatever, can we really have a long conversation when it’s this cold?”

“It’s almost winter. Speaking of which, after that happened, my first winter was pretty tough.”

“That?”

“That’s my story. Don’t mind it, Maxim. Never mind about me. Talk about yourself.”

“It’s not a life which I can just talk to someone about.”

“What’s up with your left shoulder? Did you hurt it?”

“In a battle. I was a soldier. Then I became poor….Do you understand?”

“Ah, yes I do. You were a mercenary?”

“A regular. More or less. Nowadays, even knights have a tough job gathering troops. If your employer is a mercenary captain, you’re a mercenary. If your employer is a knight, then you’re a soldier.”

“That’s not bad.”

“If you’re a fool. You’ll get a reward if you do something worth merit. Whatever other people say, a battlefield is a profitable place.”

“You’re a frank person.”

“My dad is a shitty bastard who talks with his hands. If I dare spout a lie, I’ll be beaten immediately. My older brother’s face was this swollen. He did not even beat me up that badly.

“You turned out well though, Maxim.”

“It’s not like that.  As you can see, I’m living a shitty life. The livelihood made on the battlefield didn’t last that long. If I went to the mines, I could just become a miner….”

“So it’s about having not enough manpower.”

“Because the battle continued. No matter how much iron there was, it wasn’t enough.”

“Britannia?”

“Ah?”

Maxim froze and looked around. Before he realised it, he had come to the outskirts of the town. The sick, the beggars, none of them could be seen. A cold misty rain fell upon them.

“What did you say?”

“You’re a soldier from Britannia, am I wrong?”

“What about it?”

“You really are a frank person.”

Jill seemed to be laughing.

“Maxim. I am investigating something about Valjoux.”

“…Valjoux?”

Maxim looked down and wiped his nose.

“Huh. I don’t know such a village. Never heard about it.”

“I never said it was a village.”

“What?”

“I said I was investigating something about Valjoux. Never have I once said that Valjoux was the name of a village, Maxim.”

“…I see.”

Maxim used his left hand to stroke his face as he slanted his body. He stealthily shifted the fingers of his left hand onto the sword’s handle. He grabbed it so he could draw his sword anytime.

“So what about that? Valjoux? Ah, I have heard about it. But I don’t know it well.”

“Well, it was something that happened several years ago. It’s not strange to forget about it. But, I remember.”

“What do you remember?”

“Wait.”

Jill placed his hand on his chest and took a deep breath.

“It’s useless….Useless. I finally had a good feeling about all this. Alright…I’m fine now. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“It’s fine.”

Maxim laughed forcibly and straightened his bent knee slightly.

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be able to help you. Too bad. I was a soldier under Damien Laurant. That’s a story from many years ago. I’m not the type to reminisce about the old days.”

“Damien?”

“The Britannia knight whom I served. Though I served, in my case, I was just hired by him. I said so earlier, didn’t I?”

“Damien Laurant? Red hair? A scar on his face?”

“Well, yeah.”

“That’s that bastard’s name?”

 Suddenly Jill laughed. While laughing with a voice that was so vibrant that it could be considered refreshing, he spun on his heel as though he was going to head somewhere else. Maxim frantically called Jill to stop him.

“Hey, wait, I said my piece so the gold—”

“Right.”

Just when Maxim thought that Jill was going to face him, the latter had lowered his posture. In the next instant, Jill had closed in on Maxim. It was not just that. With a quick action, Jill had drawn his sword out faster than Maxim could. Jill thrust his sword into Maxim’s guts and out of his back.

Maxim groaned and clung onto Jill.

Jill turned his wrist and twisted his sword. And he did this action over and over again a few times.

“I finally know. Damien Laurant. So that’s that man’s name. Maxim, I found some other guy before you but I accidentally finished him off before I could ask for that name. I remember he was called Gann. But I didn’t know his boss’s name. I wanted to know. But I was unable to hold back after all. Hey, by the way, Maxim. Can you tell me another thing? How many people did you kill in the village of Valjoux? How many people did you kill in that forest? Did you finish off a girl? Tell me, Maxim. Answer me. Hey? Why, Maxim. Maxim? Ahh……Maxim, are you dead? Huh, I messed up, I still had things I wanted to ask too.”

After Jill pushed Maxim over, he wiped the blood from his sword with the body’s clothes and let out a sigh.

“….I’m not able to control myself. Maxim. It’s your fault. I knew someone you know. A man with the same name as you. That guy was…like a friend, like an older brother. I killed him. I watched him die. Cruel, isn’t it. I’m falling to hell. Definitely. Claris and the Maxim who isn’t you are probably in Heaven. I can’t meet the two of them even if I die. Never again. That’s why, I still can’t die. I have things I want to do. I have to kill him. Damien Laurant. I have to kill that man….”

“I’ll do anything. For that end, I will do anything.”

Before Jill sheathed his sword, he raised his blade and looked at it. The body of the blade was dark but it had no rust and not one spot of this sharp blade was patchy.

He sheathed the black sword and looked up to the night sky that had no stars. For the time being, it did not seem like the cold rain was going to stop.

“Ahh, that’s right…”

Jill took out a coin and placed it in Maxim’s direction.

“Here you go. It’s not a gold coin but a silver coin should be enough. Even though you’re already unable to use it.”

His shoulders shook as he laughed. His throat and chest trembled as he laughed. Even as he was walking, Jill’s laughter continued.