Chapter 6 Kimetsu Academy Tales ~ Paradise Lost

“—The reason why I called the members of the Culture Festival executive committee so urgently is only for one matter.”

 

In a meeting room after school—

Kochou Shinobu, who chaired the committee, said with an exceptionally strict expression: “There might be an occurrence of mass poisoning during the Culture Festival which is held a month from now.”

“However, considering the season, we have already provided complete guidance on hygiene and even banned stalls from selling raw food that can easily cause food poisoning.”

Kanzaki Aoi who was in charge of general affairs raised her doubts seriously.

Taking the role of the secretary, Rengoku Senjurou, who was writing on the black board tilted his head, not understanding the situation.

Strange? Was Kouchou-senpai talking about food poisoning just now?

As though she was resolving his confusion, Shinobu corrected what her junior said.

“I only said poisoning, not food poisoning, Aoi. It might be more appropriate to say it’s poisoning using a combination of sound.”

“Sound….poisoning?”

This was the first that she heard of such a term. Aoi looked at the vice chairperson, Tsuyuri Kanao, who was seated next to her with a surprised look and Kanao just shook her head with an uneasy expression.

Senjurou, Aoi and Kanao, the three of their gazes naturally fell on Shinobu.

Feeling their puzzled gazes, Shinobu could not help but let out a sigh.

“The problem is with this activity.”

Shinobu took out a flyer and its contents were about the special activity “Kimetsu*Music Festival” which was held during the Kimetsu Academy Cultural Festival.

The prize for the winner was extremely luxurious and it was especially grand every year. In addition, there were rumours among the students that the prize for this year was a tour package to Las Vegas, so there was an amazing amount of passion among the participating bands.

“And one of the bands which plan to join is “Modern Scruffy Democracy”……”

Senjurou and Aoi lightly nodded their heads. “……Ah.” However Kanao, who usually kept quiet, actually let out a rare exclamation.

“Tanjirou’s band.”

“—-Correct.”

For some reason, Shinobu shot a pitiful look at Kanao.

“That’s the band registered together by Tanjirou, Zenitsu, Inosuke and the art teacher Uzui-sensei.”

“Is there something wrong with this band?”

“……about that……They should be practicing in the music room at this time.”

Faced with Aoi’s question, Shinobu showed a thoughtful expression.

“Witnessing it for yourself would trump whatever I have to say about them. Aoi, Senjurou, can you go take a look? But you must remember to exercise the utmost care.”

Why are you only asking the two of us? Senjurou could not help but find it unusual.

Aoi also had the same question but the two still left the meeting room and went towards the music room together.

 

*

 

“They should be practicing here right?”

“Yeah. But the music room in our school has been thoroughly sound proofed so you won’t be able to hear anything from here….”

“Then, what in the world should we be careful about?”

“Probably about not disturbing their practice.”

After having this short exchange, Aoi and Senjurou opened the thick heavy door of the music room.

In a flash—

 

What rushed towards the two should not be on this world……an explosion of sound that seemed to be the cohesion of grudge and cursing.

 

*

 

“I already……urgh….understand very well.”

“That is indeed a problem…….urghhh……”

“It must have been tough, Aoi, Senjurou. Fortunately the two of you are unharmed.”

The colour had drained from Senjurou’s and Aoi’s faces and after they returned to the meeting room covering their mouths, Shinobu consoled the two with a gentle voice.

The reason why she did not let Kanao go on purpose was probably not to let her get hurt. Kanao did somewhat harbor some feelings for Tanjirou after all.

“Kanao, I’m so sorry but I think everyone has to understand the situation—”

After making a disclaimer, Aoi started to describe the entire situation.

“Firstly, Tanjirou is completely tone deaf and he will agitate the listeners easily. Zenitsu’s shamisen playing is full of grudge and you’ll lose your sense of balance just listening to it. Inosuke’s out of beat drumming is even more nauseating but the fatal blow would be from Uzui-san who has a freakishly large lung capacity. His harmonica playing is just blasting out explosive noise.

“If it was not in the music room but under the blue sky then it would be sure to cause serious harm……Sorry, Vice Chair Tsuyuri.”

Senjurou also lowered his head to apologise to Kanao.

Kanao’s face became ashen at once and she was at a loss. This was hardly a wonder as even Senjurou himself who had heard the band could not believe that such musical harm would exist on this planet.

“I feel that we should—immediately—ask them to withdraw.”

Aoi seemed to be still nauseated and she grabbed a plastic bag, getting closer to Shinobu.

“However that will go against the school’s ideals of “Equality for all and placing importance in student autonomy.”

“Human lives are irreplaceable.”

“……Poor….Tanjirou.”

Hearing Aoi say such words with a steely resolution, Kanao’s slumped her shoulders in a depressed manner, feeling depressed. “I’m really sorry, Kanao.” Aoi quickly went up to comfort her friend, “But that’s considered a weapon.” and added on words that were too much. However, Senjurou was able to deeply understand her feelings. It was not strange to even recognise that as a biological weapon.

“Then….how about we just cancel the Music Festival?”

Senjurou nervously piped up, raising his hand.

That way, they would not need to tell Tanjirou and the rest the truth.

The three of them were Senjurou’s favourite seniors after all and although he did not dare to agree with Uzui’s tendencies to cause destruction, he was still a good teacher.

If at all possible, Senjurou did not want to hurt them.

Shinobu, however, shook her head.

“One of the participating teams, the Shabana siblings, that is the band consisting of Shabana Gyutarou and Ume, showed up last year as well which resulted in an unprecedented outcome. Ume’s not only crazy popular in this school, she even attracted boys from other schools in swarms. The Japanese Instrumental band lead by Kyogai-sensei has even gained recognition from related regional and overseas experts. Also, the all girls band formed by Nezuko, Makamo, Chiyo, Naho and Sumi is greatly loved by the school body. If we stop the activity completely—”

“But if this goes on, there’s going to be hundreds of casualties….ugh.”

Aoi said solemnly. It was not known if it was because she thought of the tragic scene, she took up the plastic bag again and covered her mouth. Senjurou also quietly nodded his head.

Looking at her juniors, Shinobu hesitated for a while….

“……It can’t be helped.”

She steeled her will and spoke softly:

 

“We have to fight poison with poison.”

(T/N: Yes, the English proverb for fight fire with fire is fight poison with poison in chinese and Japanese.)

 

*

 

“What is the meaning of this? Nii-san and I are not the ones singing in the finale?!”

“Oi oi oi……Chairperson, where did this Modern what the hell weird ass band come from….?”

 

Shinobu’s so called “poison” referred to the school’s infamous delinquent students, the Shabana siblings.

The sibling duo were supposed to be in charge of the finale but suddenly received news that for various reasons, the order of the bands have been changed.

Even though she was being glared at furiously by the two who came without invitation, Shinobu still maintained a calm composure.

“That’s the band by Uzui-sensei and three other students. The vocalist is Tanjirou, Zenitsu is on the Shamisen, Inosuke on the drums and Uzui-sensei is playing the harmonica.

“Is this some kind of joke?! What can a band made up of ugly people do?! They’re just a bunch of amateurs! Who wants to hear that band perform?!”

Hearing Ume’s declaration, a look of resentment leaked out on Kanao’s face.

“That Tanjiro is especially maddening! Nevermind if he’s ugly, he talks way too much crap! And he thinks he’s so full of justice! I hate that kind of person the most!!”

“–…….”

“Kanao….”

Aoi softly called her friend’s name, and then gently touched her back, pleading with her.

Senjurou worriedly looked on as the situation unfolded.

He told himself that if anything should happen then as a man, he needed to protect the other three.

“Ah? Isn’t Uzui that teacher who has three beauties serving him and is enviously handsome….Is that guy trying to snatch away our beautiful stage and Las Vegas tour package? Unforgivable….Unforgivableeeeeee!!”

“Exactly! Nii-san!!”

“Ahh….those bastard scum dare to get in our way, you think I won’t dare to peel their skin off and gut them alive……”

“Please, please calm down a bit, Shabana-kun.”

“Don’t say such frightening things.”

Never mind the younger sister Ume, even the older brother Gyutarou was quite agitated.

Just as Senjurou and Aoi were at a loss of what to do Shinobu faced the two and said : “—how about.” And a flower like smile appeared on her face.

 

*

“The two of you go find the members Modern Scruffy Democracy directly and have a chat with them?”

 

Hearing Shonobu say as such, the two continued to hurl words in anger at them before finally opening the sliding door roughly and leaving.

Mostly likely they went to the music rooms.

“……Gyutarou-kun and Ume-san look really mad, are they alright?”

Senjurou asked, talking to himself while straightening the door that had gone crooked.

(T/N: Yes, sliding doors can get stuck in the rails and go crooked if you use too much force.)

Kanao suddenly stood up.

“….I’m going to take a look.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

Shinobu replied, still with a serene expression.

“But—”

“Uzui-sensei is with them. Don’t judge him by how he looks, but that guy is so strong, it’s ridiculous. I heard that when he was a student, he was the boss of this area and took down two hundred delinquents by himself. After that, he went into art university but refused to be get recruited by related industries after graduation and chose to become a teacher here.”

“So he was actually that amazing?”

That art teacher was a friend of Senjurou’s brother when he was still a student — his impression was that Uzui could be considered to have an elegant appearance.

“Yeah, of course.”

“If that’s the case, then if both parties get into a scuffle, then wouldn’t the result be even worse?”

Aoi said, fretting.

That was true, if the situation escalated, not only the Modern Scruffy Democracy group, even the Shabana sibling’s band would be banned from competing. In other words, this was going to affect the event. Shinobu closed her eyes and smiled after hearing that.

“If it was a fight between students, then both parties would definitely get punished. However, if it was just Uzui-sensei raising his fists against students, then the result would be only Uzui-sensei getting punished. If Uzui-sensei is unable to compete then Tanjirou, Zenitsu and Inosuke would not be able to go on stage either.

“………..”

“What do you think? Isn’t it a happy ending for everyone?”

Shinobu gave a warm applause.

Her mouth was saying some despicable things but she still a smile that was adorable to a fault.

That smile would make anyone not want to be her enemy even if she caused someone’s death.

 

The next morning—

 

The executive committee received a piece of shocking news: The Shabana siblings fainted in front of the music room after school and were sent to the hospital….

 

*

 

“I heard that the Shabana siblings said their head felt like it was going to split open and they couldn’t stop vomiting and shaking.”

“……I admit that I have underestimated the destructiveness of their performance.”

After listening to Kanao’s report, Shinobu sighed, the colour on her face becoming dark. “We can’t drag this on any longer.”

The time was the same as before, after school and the location was the academy’s meeting room. Although the members were almost the same as yesterday—

“May I know….”

Senjurou shyly raised his hand and asked: “Why is Nii-san—no, why is Rengoku-sensei here?”

 

For some reason, the history teacher, Rengoku Kyoujurou was also present.

Just to mention, the teacher in charge of guiding the cultural festival executive committee was someone else.

“Yup, it was Kochou who called me here! She said there was something that only I could help out in.”

Kyoujurou replied in a cheerful manner.

“So what do I need to help out with.”

“The situation is like this. There is this band by the name of Modern Scruffy Democracy—”

Shinobu explained the entire situation.

While Kyoujurou was listening, he nodded his head like a knife mashing garlic.

“I see. So in order to save the academy, I have to stop that harmful and unpleasant performance!”

(Nii-san….)

After hearing Kyoujurou talk about it in such a frank manner, Senjurou could not help but feel his head spin.

However, he did not have a shred of malice.

He was just purely unable to read the mood.

“So we can only rely on Rengoku-sensei. You must persuade them.”

Shinobu made an earnest request, bowing her head.

“Don’t worry and leave it to me! Keeping the peace of the school is a teacher’s duty!!”

“About that….please don’t hurt Tanjirou-senpai and the rest.”

Senjurou looked at his motivated older brother and was half begging him.

Kyoujurou replied with a refreshing smile:

 

“I understand! The students are like my children! How could I possibly hurt them? Leave it all to me!!”

 

–Two hours later.

“I’m back!”

Kyoujurou returned full of spirits.

Everyone’s gazes focused on him at once. Kyoujurou made an Un sound and then heavily nodded his head, saying:

 

“The ramen was delicious!!”

 

“Nii-san–?!”

“Were you bribed?!”

 

Senjurou and Aoi could not help but give a loud rebuttal.

Kyoujurou showed no sign of feeling guilty and he shook his head, smiling.

“Not at all. When I was there, they were preparing to take a break so we went to a ramen shop. I only went with them because I got invited!”

(That’s what we call bribery……Nii-san.)

Senjurou sighed to himself.

“Kamado-boy and the rest and I all ate the same pot of ramen and we had a chat….”

At that moment, Kyoujurou paused for a moment then his eyes closed (^_^) like he had many feelings swirling within him. “Their eyes were so bright and clear! I heard they want make an official debut and be known even internationally!”

“Uuhh.”

“Ourgh.”

Aoi and Senjurou both have a deep understanding on the terror of the Modern Scruffy Democracy and were close to being unable to hold back their vomit. Kanao frantically lightly patted both Aoi and Senjurou’s backs one after another.

“I never thought that they actually have such a lofty ambition……”

Shinobu’s face also turned green as she hugged her own arms and seemed to feel that her entire body was getting the chills.

“Then, did they give up on participating?”

Even though the answer could be inferred, Senjurou still asked his older brother.

–As expected.

“When I see how serious my students are, of course I have to support them!

“…………”

“I cannot stop such passion!!! If I have to do such a thing, I rather cut my belly and kill myself on the spot!!”

Kyoujurou made such a vow.

Simply put, he stumbled over because of his students’ passion.

(Luckily….it wasn’t due to the temptation of the ramen.)

Senjurou secretly let out a sigh of relief. For this younger brother who respected and loved his older brother, he could accept such a reason.

However, the situation did not change.

Not only that, after the Shabana siblings, even Rengoku Kyoujurou’s attempt at persuasion ended up in a complete failure. The situation of the executive committee members was getting more and more difficult……

 

*

 

–Afterwards, the executive committee members still racked their brains to stop the group from getting on stage but the results were always not what they wanted and now there was less than a week to the Cultural Festival.

 

“If we do not allow them to use the microphone or any of the audio equipment—”

“Just the live singing without any audio equipment has a certain level of lethalness.”

“Why don’t we just try out best to strengthen our medical care to minimize the amount of casualites……”

“What do you think about putting cats and dogs at the event location?”

“Those cats and dogs would probably die.”

“We should just give them the wrong performance time. Like two in the morning.”

“They will definitely realise it.”

“And it might even lead to the residents nearby raising a violent protest……”

 

Just as the exhausted members could not come with a solution they could agree upon, a certain person coldly opened the sliding door without even knocking.

 

“It’s already after school.”

 

Everyone present turned their heads to look and it turned out that the person standing there was the physical education teacher – Tomioka Giyuu. He was holding a bamboo sword and wearing the exercise attire he usually wore. The whistle he used to guide the students was hanging in front of his chest and giving off a faint gleam. Just to mention, he was also old friends with Senjurou’s older brother during their schooling days.

“It really late, what are all of you doing?”

“If you want to ask about the permission application for the meeting room, we did it according to the rules—”

Midway through her sentence, Shinobu suddenly made an expression as though she thought of something.

Senjurou saw her and also suddenly had a realization.

Aoi and Kanao were probably thinking of the same thing.

The guidance teacher for the Morals Committee – Tomioka Giyuu.

He was infamous for being strict towards students that even PTA had their eyes on him. Furthermore, he had the nickname of being called Kimetsu Academy’s Final Weapon.

If it were him, he might just be able to stop Modern Scruffy Democracy.

“Tomioka-sensei.”

Shinobu quietly called his name.

“What is it? Kochou.”

“Someone is breaking the school rules.”

After hearing Shinobu’s words, the physical education teacher’s eyes shone at once.

Once he realised that there was a student going against the rules, those eyes which were usually dull became those of a wild beast locking onto prey.

“The school bans any actions that would cause an obvious disturbance to others and cause harm to others physically or mentally—however there are some teachers and students who are breaking this rule.”

“Who?”

“Uzui Tengen-sensei, Kamado Tanjirou, Agatsuma Zenitsu and Hashibira Inosuke. Those four.”

Shinobu even added on that they were now using the music room.

Logically, the problem should be settled smoothly in this way……however—

 

*

 

One hour later, Tomioka came back quietly.

 

“Tomioka-sensei, welcome ba—”

Halfway through her words, Aoi’s voice suddenly disappeared. She realized that there were large drops of tears on Tomioka’s face.

This unfeeling physical education teacher who students avoided out of fear was actually crying. Senjurou, Kanao and Aoi became stunned when they saw him. A look of shock also appeared on Shinobu’s face.

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Image courtesy of ultra-violet-heart (Tumblr)

“What happened? Tomioka-sensei.”

Shinobu asked, worried.

“—ched.”

“Did you argue with Uzui-sensei? Is that why you’re crying like this?”

“I’m so touched.”

“Hah?”

Hearing this unexpected answer, including Shinobu, everyone present raised a brow.

“I’m moved beyond words.”

“Um……I’m sorry, I did not hear you properly. What are you moved about?”

Shinobu’s brows slanted downwards as she asked in a gentle voice.

 

“…….This is the first time in my life that I heard such lyrics that moved people’s hearts.”

After finishing his words, Tomioka closed his eyes and hot tears filled the edges of his eyelids again, as though he was carefully savoring the remnants of the song.

 

*

 

“Why do you have a girlfriend and I do not Is there something wrong with me~~~~~~? Don’t tell me I committed some sin in my past life~~~~~ ”

 

 

In order to prevent affecting residents who lived nearby, the auditorium’s windows were closed and locked.

Right now, Modern Scruffy Democracy were standing on stage and performing the equivalent of a weapon of mass destruction.

 

“Semjurou! Bring the stretchers over quickly!!”

“Yes!”

“The first aid tents are full!”

“Use the auditorium storeroom, get the stuff inside it out.”

 

The executive committee members were wearing earplugs and giving their all to carry out rescue operations. However the students were collapsing one after other as though to mock their efforts.

The howls were coming in the waves.

And the tragic screams.

The music festival had completely become purgatory.

 

“Even though I was violently kicked by you and you fled as though you were soaring away, I don’t care at all~~ Because I’m really dumb~~

 

“There’s not enough ice!!

“Bring the basic over!”

“Kochou-senpai, this person’s eyes had rolled up and is starting to become delirious!”

“I’m heading over immediately.”

“Can you turn the air conditioner down?”

 

The explosive noise covered Senjurou’s, Aoi’s, Kanao’s and Shinobu’s urgent voices.

In this kind of situation, only Tomioka was moved to tears.

 

“Don’t be cold to me or I’ll be in agony like a bullet to the gut~~ Don’t say I’m gross, don’t say there’s no affinity between us, I’ll be in agony as though I was stabbed with a thousand knives!!!!Don’t say it! I know it I know how to read the mood~~~~~ ”

 

“I know how to read the mood……”

“…….”

Seeing that hot tears were running down Tomioka’s face amongst the agonising wails and was even humming softly to the lyrics, what kind of feelings did the fallen students have–?

 

Afterwards, the students were even more terrified of Tomioka Giyuu and their fear of him far exceed their fear of the culprits – Modern Scruffy Democracy, but that was a story for another day.

 

Also, in what way did this part of the lyrics move his heart and why was there a breach in his steel like tear glands. This was a mystery till this day.

10 thoughts on “Chapter 6 Kimetsu Academy Tales ~ Paradise Lost

    1. lol i think he was moved cause this part

      “Don’t be cold to me or I’ll be in agony like a bullet to the gut~~ Don’t say I’m gross, don’t say there’s no affinity between us, I’ll be in agony as though I was stabbed with a thousand knives!!!!Don’t say it! I know it I know how to read the mood~~~~~ ”

      “I know how to read the mood……”

      is about being socially inept

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      1. I KNOW RIGHT! THIS IS ABSOLUTE GOLD!
        Props to Yajima-sensei, Gotouge-sensei and our lovely translator for keeping the chaotic energy

        Like

  1. A nice and hilarious chapter. Thank you for your translation.
    I hope the 3rd light novel will be translated soon. From the synopsis, those stories are quite intriguing, too.

    Like

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